so when do you graduate?

The Scientific Method

research articles explained | credit: XKCD

There’s happiness and then there’s realizing that the last ten pages of a scientific paper are just the bibliography.

Active voice: I love your writing

Passive voice: Your writing is loved

Passive-aggressive voice: I love how you think you can accomplish all your writing goals this summer

Aggressive-aggressive voice: How’s your writing going so far this summer

With great academic responsibility comes remarkably limited academic power.

scientists be making cell signaling diagrams and calling it “___ signaling at a glance!” but apparently don’t understand the definition of “glance” because it’ll still be like the most complicated schematic you’ve ever seen in your life

for @newscientist https://www.instagram.com/p/CClDZkFnZ6k/?igshid=1cay3myxyffhg

researching: Great!  Amazing!  Love learning!  Finding out new things!  Cool beans!  Fielwork!  Books!  Data!  Wowie!

writing article: Hmmmmm not as fun for sure but like. The process.  helps a little to put things into words.  5/10 i guess it’s o k

editing article: I crave the sweet release of death.  Endless years I have suffered - tell me when it will end?  Language is meaningless and I have lost sight of my path.  Here alone in the desert I wander, searching the empty expanses of my mind for a synonym.  How to tempt Word into formatting my diagrams without ruinous consequence?  I am the master of my own garden of sorrow.

writing the cover letter to go with the article submission: somehow  f u c k i n g   w o r s e

someone, reading my writing: wow great story!

me, sticking my hands in the plotholes: thanks it has pockets :)

When STEM people have fun.

Reviewer 2 walks into a bar complaining immediately of this not being the joke they would have written.

hey look it’s me 

*cha cha’s real smooth away from academic responsibilities*

Refrence section

???

The PhD pancake stack