holding yourself accountable and tearing yourself down are two different things

how to do it (asking seriously)

be aware of what you’ve done wrong. forgive yourself and learn from it rather than beating yourself up over it and thinking it’s just a part of you that can’t be changed. know that you can’t go back and undo it but also that in the future you can do better and not repeat the same regret. self hatred stemming from regret is hard to control, but it can be managed with patience and practice.

DON'T focus on:

DO focus on:

probably the best advice I've ever got was from my grandpa when I moved from my town and started a university, he told me to leave the house everytime when I start to feel down, just to go to the park, a supermarket, a bookstore, to even drive in a bus or tram, just be around other people because staying at home all the time kills you; and you know he was right

Hey, are you a broke motherfucker trying to save money on groceries and attempting to plan for having food in the house at the end of the month? Do you have a good system for storing frozen meat? If you don't, here's how I do it:

Large Bastard called me when I was at the plasma center (we're broke motherfuckers!) to tell me that Aldi had nearly expired pork chops (use or freeze by tomorrow) for 50% off, so I told him to get 4 packs.

I keep my freezer pretty full with homemade stock, frozen meat, frozen veggies, frozen fruit, and g-free bread, so I can't just stick the big packages of pork chops directly in the freezer, and besides if I do, the pork chops will freeze to each other and then I'll have to thaw the whole mass of them if i want to cook them, which will increase thawing time.

So what I do instead is make an accordion of waxed paper and fill it with pork chops.

This ends up saving a ton of space, and means I can choose to thaw 8 pieces or 1 piece or however much I need at a time.

3 packs stored this way are smaller than 1 pack from the store.

The final accordion of meat gets wrapped in a layer of waxed paper, then put into a freezer bag with the air pressed out, and now if I don't have cash for groceries I've still got something to eat.

This is also the way that I save meat that is close to its spoilage date that I won't be able to cook before it goes bad. If you stick a family pack of chicken breasts in the freezer, you have a family pack of chicken breasts to thaw. If you put them into little waxed paper envelopes, you've got single serving packets that you can easily toss into a soup or bake from frozen.

This is ALSO pretty much the technique I use to freeze banana slices when my bananas are going brown and I'm not in the mood to bake, only I freeze them on a cutting board before breaking them off and sticking them in a bag when they're frozen.

Freeze wet stuff in individual pieces, not big chunks, so you don't have to break up big chunks to use your frozen food.

I know this probably seems pretty obvious to a lot of people, but it wasn't obvious to me until a couple years ago because nobody ever showed me how to do it and I didn't grow up in a family that cooked a lot.

From the book Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD:

progress can come in so many forms.

forming a routine. getting more sleep. showering more often. eating more than one meal a day. finishing an assignment on time. allowing yourself to take breaks when you need them. drinking more water. going outside more. spending more time socializing. not going to events that are draining. cleaning the dishes before they pile up.

some things seem like little steps that we barely acknowledge, but every one of them is a part of progress.

new ask polly changing my life per usual

This hack will save your teeth: there are no “right” and “wrong” times to brush your teeth.

It gets in your head that you brush after eating when you wake up and when you go to sleep. Yeah that’s all well and good, but those are times that don’t have a lot of motivation and control…So just…brush your teeth at a different time. 

You go to the bathroom in the middle of the day and are like “I should brush my teeth” DO IT!!!! Don’t listen to the other half of that sentence that says “shit but it’s not the right time” 

I don’t care if you’re about to eat, or get coffee, or whatever. 

If you are there and you want to…do it. 

Honestly this hack will solve most of problems. Just stop assigning meaningless “right” and “wrong” to tasks and start saying “I can pretty much do whatever I want whenever I want and society and its expectations don’t really matter to me”. 

If there’s no barrier in the first place you don’t have to get over it. 

huge ADHD hack. if you can get over the “all or nothing”, moralizing, judging aspect of every action you “should” take, you’ll discover you can get more done than you expect.

I’m a big fan of the 2 PM shower. spend a whole morning feeling lazy and guilty, then just decide to start the day over again, even if it is lunchtime.

you can always begin again. any hour, any moment can be the beginning. you can choose that. the clock doesn’t run you, you run the clock

you can always begin again. any hour, any moment can be the beginning. you can choose that

Hey, if you're wanting to make some changes to how you eat, remember- it's much easier, healthier, and more sustainable to ADD foods that make you feel good than it is to REMOVE foods.

If you feel like you don't drink enough non-sugary fluids, it makes more sense to try drinking more tea and sparkling water than it does to just avoid soda. You gotta add in the good (and remember, that the only value food has is how it makes YOU feel. Food is morally nuetral and should be enjoyed.)

Try:

Remember- food is a gift. It should bring you joy, not stress. Trust your body. Enjoy the cookie. Drink something tasty.

Lol. Totally! So meat is an obvious go to. There's nothing wrong with eating a few slices of lunch meat or some packaged flavored tuna with breakfast or as a snack for added protein.

When I was a kid, my dad made me "cheesy roll ups" as a snack that was literally just a slice of cheese and a slice of turkey with maybe a squeeze of mustard or ranch and then rolled up. I'd eat a whole plate of them for lunch sometimes!

My dad would also mix canned tuna into kraft Mac n cheese to give it some protein. Super easy and really tasty! (My husband's family did the same thing but with canned deviled ham.)

Other protein dense options:

Ask the Bitches: Social Media Fatigue Is Stressing Me the Fuck Out—What Can I Do Besides Quit?

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I recently read How to Break Up With Your Phone. One strategy I remember from it is to wipe all social media apps from your phone and only use it on an actual computer.

This is an EXTREMELY blessed post! And accurate! When I first moved out I was so excited for my new place I slept on the floor and had my tv there and that was it. Loved it. You grow and you build and you gain and you lose. I lost that place and everything in it. Now I have a new place with new things and it’s very much home.

-Captain Awkward, “Should I Move Away From My Abusive Family?”

Leaving Home before 18: A Practical Guide for Cast-Offs, Runaways, and Everybody in Between

Ask the Bitches: “I Just Turned 18 and My Parents Are Kicking Me Out. How Do I Brace Myself?”

{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need To Know About Living Independently for the First Time

oh my god. most of life really is about the little things. a good haircut, a nice playlist, trying a new recipe that turns out well, a poem that hits home, a comfortable spot in the sun, spontaneous messages, a pen you enjoy writing with, tea with the right temperature to drink, buying that thing you’ve been eyeing for a while, a warm bed. yeah. im so grateful for the little enjoyments

Random pieces of advice

A List of Ways to Feel Human Again After Spending the Weekend Alone by Selene Corbeau

[Text: 1. Stare at a crack in the paint on the ceiling for as long as you can without blinking. Hold your eyelids open until your cornbread glaze over with tears

2. Eat with your hands unapologetically

3. Tilt your head back and take a deep drink until the liquid spills down your jaw and onto your shirt

4. Call out in awe, pain, joy, sorrow, or astonishment. Let no emotion pass through you in silence

5. Stop battling the grief and let it in for just one night. Don’t forget that there is grief only because there was once love

6. Dance until you collapse and fall asleep listening to upbeat music

7. Look into the mirror for a prolonged period of time and memorize your face as if you were trying to memorize the face of a stranger

8. Sing instead of speaking

9. Read all of your old journals and relive all of your past selves, then bury them and pack them back up on your bookshelf

10. Settle into yourself

End text]

wish list for people who don’t want anything

aka possessions which are just possessions, but which have noticeably improved my quality of life: for when people ask you “what do you want for your birthday/Christmas/graduation” and you instantly transform into St Francis and pledge fealty to Lady Poverty because your mind went blank

A few more things!

Good luggage. Whether it’s a suitcase or a duffel bag or even just packing cubes, it’s all helpful!

Good art. If it’s someone you trust, you can ask them to surprise you with a piece they like, otherwise you can have a few back up suggestions of ideas (I saw a framed piece of just the hands from Michaelangelo’s The Creation of Man and have not forgot about it since)

Good good pillows or fluffy blankets to go along with those nice new sheets from above

Office supplies. Pens, markers, sharpies. All the sharpies.

Coffee travel mugs (can one have too many?). If they say they still want more ideas, also ask for a bag of their favorite beans/tea

Look around your house, what do you have that is still from college? Ask for a better one of those.

And for the future planning, especially if you’re me and forget things: make a document of “things I’d like but don’t want to buy for myself frivolously” and then select items from that for a wishlist.