*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*

accidentally stuttering while saying your snarky comeback

I TOLD MY DAD TO CHILL AND HE SAID “I AM CHILL” AND I SAID “I THOUGHT U WERE DAD” I DAD JOKED MY DAD I AM THE REVOLUTION

hello revolution im dad

a bitter defeat

the reason i like staying up late so much is because between the hours of 1am-5am, the world is quiet and no one expects anything from me. i could stare at my wall for 4 hours and there would be no consequences. it’s so silent and calm. i love it

so seductive

THIS GETS ME EVERY FUCKING TIME

i love the internet. i havent paid for music since 2005

I’M NOT SHITTING YOU SOMEONE SET THE SCHOOL BATHROOM ON FIRE AND I GOT OUT OF A HUGE PRESENTATION. ARSON SAVED MY ASS

how do people wake up in the morning feeling refreshed

my diet plan: - make all of my friends cupcakes, the fatter they get the thinner i look 

in 7th grade i went to the see a movie with a boy and in the middle of it he was like “do you wanna kiss” and i was like “excuse me” and he pulled a bag of hershey’s kisses out of his coat

DO YOU REALIZE WHAT A GOOD BACKUP PLAN THAT IS

someone deposit $7,000 in my bank account so I can have the summer wardrobe I truly deserve

i really like stickers but at the same time i don’t because once you stick them somewhere that’s it, it’s finished, and i’m just not emotionally stable enough for that responsibility

I have been waiting for this post my whole life.

I was trying to explain this to someone one day and they basically told me I was crazy.

vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”

Uhh. The baby doesnt come out of where the penis goes in…

stay in school y’all

i hate to be the bearer of bad news but the vagina and the vagina are, in fact, the same thing

you gotta be careful with girls named katherine because it could be spelled katherine or kathryn or catherine cathryn katherin kcatcheyn ckathcryrn catrchckern kathtrine 

release the catrchckern 

# WHOEVER MADE THIS IS GOING TO BE FUCKING TAKEN OUT BY THE GODDAMN KGB

This is it. The video that made memes illegal in Russia. Reblog it every day to piss Sadimir Putin off.