I just find out I got cast as Lizzy Bennet in my university's production of Pride and Prejudice. I think this is what religious ecstasy feels like.

Emotional prep for grief??? More like emotional damage 🙃

I wonder why we start emotional prep with grief. ... I should probably read the Meisner book, it might say.

My acting instructor gave us homework for over winter break and it is absolutely killing the vibe. I NEEDED three weeks away from that man, mentally and physically. Instead I've been thinking about him the whole time, thinking about the homework, wondering if my work is going to be good enough for him. Not to say I haven't enjoyed my holiday, but I'm going into this semester just as stressed as I was leaving last semester.

I'm looking for other current, future, and previous acting students to commiserate with. I'm a 34 year old student getting my bachelor's degree (... finally) who is struggling with the Meisner technique. Honestly, I'm also struggling with being a 34 year old student surrounded by people in their early 20s. I've done theatre all my life but I move a lot and now I'm in a new city with few local friends. Anyone wanna chat???

Rehearsal Report

I’m in rehearsals for a version of Hamlet, right now - tonight is final dress and we open tomorrow. I just have to say, I am not enjoying myself very much. I’ve been performing in shows since I was 15, so that’s 17 years of experience if you don’t count the classes I’ve been taking since I was ten. The thing that’s bringing me down is the directors. First off, there’s three of them. THREE DIRECTORS. I have had very few instances in which more than one director is a good thing. Second issue, all three directors are in the show. Again, I find that that rarely works out well for the rest of the cast. Finally, I don’t know what I’ve done but they started freezing me out. They have never been welcoming to me, but that I can get over. At the end of the day THEY cast me, I auditioned just like everyone else and they chose me so it is what it is. It still rankles, their lack of interest in me or my life, especially when I get detailed reports on what’s happened to them every day, but hey, they’re actors, I’m used to big personalities. What has really started to bring me down is the lack of communication and the slowly cutting me down. There’s a ‘Preshow’ in which we sing and talk to the audience and we all have songs to sing and scripted bits to say, and they have cut what I say to the audience to a single line, when the Preshow and intermission lasts a combined hour at least. In all that time, everyone else speaks multiple paragraphs and I speak one line. After cutting what I was originally supposed to say because it wasn’t relevant anymore, they replaced the bit with something else and gave it to another actor.

I know you all don’t know me, but this company doesn’t hire bad actors, they don’t cast people who can’t do their job. I know something changed in their attitude toward me because I watched it happen. They wait to tell me about changes until I’ve done it wrong, I was out sick ONE rehearsal - in which they told me to stay home - and instead of letting me know about what I missed they just look at me like I’m an idiot when I have a question about something that was covered then.

This is long and rambling and more of a journal entry than a post, but damn I’m frustrated. At least we open soon, then I’ll have just over a month of performances and be done with the whole thing.