- Of all the goddamn men in this whole world, why do I have to love this one? I can’t get him out of me. Do you know how many men I tried to fall in love with this past year? But it won’t work. No matter who I’m in bed with, I have to imagine it’s him or nothing happens. No matter who I’m eating with or walking with, there’s always this pain because it isn’t him. I’m possessed by him. Oh, it’s crazy! - I think that’s the way it’s supposed to be. - But he doesn’t give a damn about me! - You’re the only thing he cares about outside of his work. - I was never real to him. Nothing in the human condition was ever real to him. He’s a truth lover. Reality to Eddie is only that which is changeless, immutably constant. What happened to Eddie tonight that was was Eddie’s idea of love. That’s consummation. He finally got it off with God. He finally embraced the Absolute, was finally ravished by Truth and it goddamned near destroyed him!
Altered States, Ken Russell (1980)