Cinema can fill in the empty spaces of your life

Isn't it touching how a perfect murder has kept our friendship alive all these years?

- Let's hope he slips up soon. - In one way I rather hope he doesn't. We haven't had a good juicy series of sex murders since Christie. And they're so good for the tourist trade. Foreigners somehow expect the squares of London to be fog-wreathed, full of hansom cabs and littered with ripped whores, don't you think?

- Okay, I'm going. And you two secret agents can settle down and be secret agents. - I wish you wouldn't use such words, my love. - Why? Who do you think you are fooling, my master spy? Everybody in Washington knows that you are not a Commercial Attaché. Everybody in Washington knows that the Chief of Russian Intelligence is the chauffeur who drives a car for... - Everybody in Washington does not know these things. And I would thank you not to repeat them. Go to bed. - Nicole, where did you hear that about the Chief of Russian Intelligence? - From my butcher.

You told me nothing. You know nothing.

- What you do need, I suspect, is a psychiatrist. - Oh, men! You say "no thanks" to one of them and bingo! You're a candidate for the funny farm.

She might have fooled me, but she didn't fool my mother.

I'm an advertising man, not a red herring. I've got a job, a secretary, a mother, two ex-wives and several bartenders that depend upon me, and I don't intend to disappoint them all by getting myself "slightly" killed.

An innocent man has nothing to fear, remember that.

Don't you realize that Americans dislike having their children stolen?

- When I saw him, he was dead. - He looked exactly the same when he was alive, only he was vertical.

Diamonds... The only thing in the world you can't resist.

- The last thing Mrs. Thorwald would leave behind would be her wedding ring. Stella, do you ever leave yours at home? - The only way somebody would get that would be to chop off my finger. Let's go down to the garden and find out what's buried there. - Why not? I always wanted to meet Mrs. Thorwald.

- Do you really believe in the perfect murder? - Yes, absolutely. On paper, that is. And I think I could plan one better than most people. But I doubt if I could carry it out. - Why not? - Well, because in stories things usually turn out the way the author wants them to and in real life they don't... always. No, I'm afraid my murders would be something like my bridge: I'd make some stupid mistake and never realize it until I found everybody was looking at me.

I must confess to you. I must tell someone. I want to make a confession.

I'm beginning to feel sad and I shouldn't feel sad. It's so depressing.

- Not a very warm welcome. - The climate's making up for that.

Women make the best psychoanalysts until they fall in love. After that they make the best patients.