new variant on “your boos mean nothing; I’ve seen what makes you cheer”

"Your thirst means nothing; I've seen what makes you horny."

it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.

I’ve seen this post easily 12 times now and EVERY TIME it’s just a different cat looking at a different door. 

 i recommend learning other alphabets if for no other reason than it’s very fun to see people replace latin alphabet letters with complete nonsense for Aesthetic

as julius caesar famously said: “vspph vphdph vphcph”

as brutus said, tase him again

Was trying to rate the pumpkin my sister carved but this random cat was in all the shots so I had to get him too.

before: GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCK PIECE OF SHIT

after: hello mommy 🥺 could you pretty please help me with this 🥺 it’s me your baby boy

This was my art school’s water fountain. Drink from them wolf tiddies

Assignment misunderstood. I have now built a city.

Give it a day

my dad just exploded into laughter out of nowhere and told me ‘imagine the lion king but with sea lions’ he has been chuckling about it for 5 straight minutes now

apparently it doesn’t matter that i’ve told him 10 times it’s the monkey who raises the newborn and not the lion himself, this is the scene he has been imagining

“he can’t raise his kid over his head”

I want it

okay but have you considered

quality content

Extreme quality

@squorkal can it be my job to find you seal posts? Because I want that job

stargate as various onion headlines (part 2 and 3 (mostly tumblr posts) coming soon)

Anyone wanna hear my conspiracy theory? Aka the only conspiracy theory that isn’t deeply rooted in antisemitism and that I only like ….10% believe?

Woohoo! All I needed was one person to give me permission. Here it goes:

Five Minute Craft videos must originate from Russia and also contain secret codes for field operatives worldwide.

Why else would they be so bizarre and widespread and just ceaselessly churned out and so easy to access????

I mostly don’t believe this. But about 10% of me… every time I see a Five Minute Crafts video… 🤔 🧐

I've actually never seen these 5 minute craft videos! Are they at least actually crafty or are they going to make the microwave explode?

They at one point in the distant past contained crafts. Now they’re all like

And every time I watch them I feel like someone in the kremlin is giving instructions on who to poison in a foreign country and the holes and jeans and staples and plants are all clues for someone. Because why else would this video exist??????

Also they have 80 MILLION subscribers and 7200 videos. Which is just alarming.

What is happening????

This one was posted 15 minutes ago. Why is it so long? And what is happening to my eyeballs?? Whyyyyyy?

I hate everything about this.

Lmaooooooo

pspsps

ah, fuck!

bro, that's not quite it!

here.

thank you.

(ouch)

He was using his ALL 🤣

.

Everybody go home, we have a winner

God that’s so funny. So elegant and simple. Everything.

The "B" is *not* for "buses"

Via mastodon(aka the fediverse)

Hm. Your interpretation of this character displeases me. Guards! Take them away! Make them read the source material once more, and if that fails, the stocks.