I am all in a sea of wonders

❝here i am, a rabbit hearted girl, frozen in the headlights, it seems i've made the final sacrifice❞

and while i’m at it, i think kate gordon and jackie taylor are like. also extremely tethered. me when im The Queen Bee but in reality, likely love my friends more than they love me. im seen as this popular, untouchable figure but im extremely insecure and dying to prove myself. i love my friend so much and try to always have her back and she envies me and gets together with my boyfriend/ex behind my back because she has a totally untrue idea of me in her head, thinking im selfish and awful when in reality i would do just about anything for her. i honestly think their differing point is that while jackie was (rightfully) weirded tf out by the other girls’ murderous shenanigans, kate tried to cover up adam’s m/urder because of how much she loved flan and because of how badly she wanted to prove to everyone that she was a good leader and could get them out of a helpless situation, even though that was literally her ex boyfriend, whom she (very likely) still loved.

yellowjackets characters: Jackie Taylor

YELLOWJACKETS (2021- ) 1.09 Doomcoming

it's fascinating how the callie and jackie relationship is something that definitely exists despite it being fundamentally impossible for them to ever meet. my family is fucked up beyond repair because you're dead. if you had not died i would have never been born. you ruined my life. you gave me life. i killed you. i don't know who you are. there wasn't a single moment in my life when you weren't with me.

YELLOWJACKETS

1.01 Pilot | 1.08 Flight of the Bumblebee | 1.10 Sic Transit Gloria Mundi

my love for you shall live forever. you, however, did not.

i am dead, yet i live

JACKIE TAYLOR : Yellowjackets (2021-)

But Rebecca would never grow old. Rebecca would always be the same. And her I could not fight. She was too strong for me.

Between Identification and Desire: Rereading "Rebecca" by Janet Harbord / Yellowjackets (2021-) / Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier

jackie dying in her blue striped shirt and letterman jacket but her ghost in shauna's adulthood wearing her soccer uniform. laura lee dying in her khakis and her pink sweater and her ghost in lottie's adulthood wearing her white nightgown baptism outfit. the way jackie's ghost in shauna's youth wears her death outfit. the way jackie's ghost starts off as directly next to her corpse. the way memory warps things and the exacts vanish and the vision you have of someone becomes fixed on a certain moment or idea or era of them. the way yellowjackets is about girls who never got to grow up haunting the women who grew up wrong and sideways around their absence.

yellowjackets // natalie wee, ‘least of all,’ our bodies and other fine machines // love as an act of merciful conquer, silas denver melvin // catalog of unabashed gratitude, ross gay

1.01 | 2.02

‘i don’t even know where you end and i begin’ shauna said at 17 and 25 years later thats still true, but is she living jackie’s life that she started to eat away at even before she physically ate her or is jackie’s haunting of shauna, that she started before she’d even died, so strong that shauna has no choice but to live jackie’s life for her whether or not she wants to?

i love you, alive dead girl ❤️