I am all in a sea of wonders

Shauna Sadecki (née Shipman) and Callie Sadecki Melanie Lynskey and Sarah Desjardins

YELLOWJACKETS (2021—)

it's fascinating how the callie and jackie relationship is something that definitely exists despite it being fundamentally impossible for them to ever meet. my family is fucked up beyond repair because you're dead. if you had not died i would have never been born. you ruined my life. you gave me life. i killed you. i don't know who you are. there wasn't a single moment in my life when you weren't with me.

i’m still thinking about callie sadecki. i just love her so much. i’m thinking about her overwhelming empathy for her mom and how it’s always been there—the little tremor in her voice and the way she glances away when she asks “is dad working late again? …i’m sorry” in the pilot. she bitches at her mom plenty but the second she gets high in blood hive she’s literally crying in the club because she recognizes at this core level that her mom, too, was just a girl once, and she lost people, and she didn’t start out as a bad person, and this isn’t who she would have been otherwise. 

callie begins season 2 by calling her mom selfish, saying shauna doesn’t care about her, and callie’s so horrified over what shauna did to adam, but by the finale, callie has shot lottie to protect her mom. “get away from my mom” and callie doesn’t sound powerful or in control or badass, she sounds so so scared, it’s all but a sob, no “get the fuck away from my mom,” she sounds like a kid. still holding the gun pointed at lottie, she says, “mom?” waiting for shauna to tell her what to do. waiting to hear that it’s okay. 

am i like mom? retaking her trig test, solving the crossword without so much as thinking about it, conjuring fake tears at the same time as her mom with a single police station wall between them because she’s that intent on sticking by her mom’s side, even though they’d been arguing walking in minutes before. am i like mom? holding the gun that shauna stole, shaking, she just shot a stranger and she’s maybe going to again, they were going to kill you, and the unspoken implication that if callie has to kill them instead to keep that from happening, then maybe she will. 

shauna, who never let herself get truly close to callie for fear that callie might die. shauna, who would be dead right now if it weren’t for her kid.

Get away from my mom. Callie, no.

YELLOWJACKETS 2.08 “It Chooses”

love watching shauna raise another version of herself. a liar who gets drunk on chaos, which has now escalated into aiding in a murder cover-up. voted most likely to be a future criminal.

YELLOWJACKETS 🐝 2.05 Two Truths and a Lie

#good parenting