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Just Trying to Get By in Life

@geeky92 / geeky92.tumblr.com

Aroace autistic disaster who's obsessed with monsters, anime, and cartoons. This blog does NOT welcome any pedophiles, zoophiles, or bullies!
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Let's Play Good & Bad!

Good: The Wolf Man Design

Hey! That's basically exactly what I wish all werewolf designs looked like! Beast enough to be scary, human enough to be horrible. What we want is "Uncanny Valley On Purpose." And that's what this looks like The original Lon Chaney Jr. Wolf Man was kind of like this, but the world has been desensitized to "extra-hairy fierce eyes" and so exaggerating the teeth and the length of the claw-fingers and pulling back the lips even further is real real good. Plus, Lon Chaney's always looked a little too frizzy, like the humidity was turning his whole body into a stuffed animal that's been put through the drier. This Wolf-Man's hair looks jagged and tangled and explosive, like a mane.

We like the design for the Wolf Man. We like it. And look, he's climbing around on all fours! Good!

Bad: Dracula Design

Noo...booo...

We want "undead gentleman." Not "Video Game Villain."

The thing that makes Dracula scary is that he looks exactly like a normal human except for a couple of...odd...things. And those one or two odd things make him horrible.

Classic Dracula's design did this real well. His eyes are too wide-open. Why? Why are they wide-open? It's almost like it's a cadaver being piloted by a non-human monster, and that non-human is trying to remember what "being alive" looks like, and it knows that "alive" things have open eyes and look alert. So it makes sure to open up its eyelids as wide as they can go, "LOOK I'M A LIVING CREATURE, COME CLOSER, NOTHING TO FEAR FROM AN ALIVE PERSON."

But Epic Universe's Dracula only has wide-eyes when he's lunging ferociously, like any attacking animal telegraphing "fearsome predator" would. That's just normal-thrilling. Not "specific-to-Dracula-scary." They make his eyes weathered and sunken and bloodshot. That's a choice. But it's not the right one.

And the posture. Epic Universe Dracula doesn't have the right posture. Classic Dracula has perfect posture... it's a little too perfect. Everything is too still. Unnaturally still. Like whatever is piloting the human-shaped body is only operating one muscle precisely at a time as-needed, and the others can be left so deathly-still and dormant. A real, live human wouldn't be able to be so precise. They'd be shifting their weight, gesturing absentmindedly, blinking. Dracula doesn't do those things.

And Epic Universe Dracula shouldn't look like he's recently been feeding on people en-masse so that his cadaverously blue skin is stained red, permanently, around the hands, eyes, and mouth. No. Because Classic Dracula is immaculately clean. Supernaturally clean.

Because the idea is that he's not a man. Dracula is a Thing piloting a man-body around, pretending with supernatural, extreme prejudice, to be normal so that it can fool its next victim. It would never let remains of its last meal stain its fingers; that would give it away. Insect-like stillness and precision. The ability to use parts of the body for ripping and grasping that a human wouldn't think to use. The use of more than just the eyes to notice its surroundings. Those are the vibes Dracula is supposed to have. Too much like what a non-human would think a human is like.

The only hint of what remains of Dracula the Man is his clothes and highborn finery. Antiquated. He became a Devourer of Man as an ancient warlord, butchering commoners and subduing them as a member of the ruthless high class, first. Then he became that literally, draining the life out of others as a monster. So his clothes are supposed to look aristocratic and almost-embarrassingly out of fashion. Except you can't mock him because he's too frightening to be taken anything but seriously.

This Epic Universe Dracula is wearing something that feels like it has no ties to anything in human history. He's too flaunting of his supernatural-other-ness. He's too supervillain. He's supposed to be subtle and secret, like a reclusive aristocrat you find out is a serial killer—and that's what makes him horrible. Not some Fantasy-Epic-Dungeons-&-Dragons boss.

Bad Dracula. I need a more subtle Dracula. Vampires that are so still they remind you of a spider sitting on a web in someone’s house during a Halloween party, and it’s so motionless you can’t tell if it’s a decoration or a living thing.

They should make an animatronic that looks like it’s just a really elaborate statue, or a wax figure, OR, even better, it should look like a really simple, bad animatronic, at first. Minimal movements. Too many body parts moving independently, one right after the other, almost mechanical. And then BAM suddenly he turns fluid and lifelike as the Avatar Animatronic, right as your ride vehicle is passing under him, and he looks RIGHT AT YOU and lunges. Then he goes back to being still and stiff.

But no. We get an Overwatch Character. Who likes this kind of thing in their monsters?

Good: The Creature From the Black Lagoon

YES! Three cheers for the monster from my hometown!

I just like that he wasn't left out. That's it. Don't really care about his movie or his character that much.

Bad: Maleva

nooo. what? Why does this look like it was made by AI? This is one of the worst character designs I've ever seen. There's so much going on, I feel like I'm looking at what artificial intelligence came up with for a prompt that said "vaguely ominous sexy woman with a hint of warrior traits in a fantasy werewolf VIDEO GAME."

Lame.

If you're worried about the racial component or you need like a "witchy pro-monster expert civilization" for your Dark Universe, just stop it. Just don't worry about needing to update those things. Not if you're going to do it like this.

If you need a people group who wisely understand that there's more to this world than meets the eye, and evil can manifest itself powerfully, and good can manifest itself powerfully, as a counter-point to post-modern scientific skeptics—

—do better than "video game almost-steampunk word-salad of cool things" characters.

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Christians: write monster stories, please. Thank you.

to everybody reblogging or commenting “trying to” on this

also thank you and let me read them

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reblogged

...I know that nobody cares about the Sonic franchise in my follower count

but like

Come on. Shadow and Maria. Why is that whole story so good? What makes it stick, and stick so firmly in our brains forever, and no matter how you tell it it's that way?

Why's it so good when at first glance it's so weird?

Little girl with undefined disease lives in a space station and befriends an artificial creation shaped inexplicably like an anime anthropomorphic hedgehog, who is for some reason meant to be the cure to her disease and somehow having things like explosive energy powers and rocket skates are applicable to that goal—but then she dies saving him so he turns supervillain.

That

is so weird

why do I not feel like it's weird? Why do I feel like it's classic and iconic and necessary to tell that story over and over? Is it just the childhood nostalgia? Or is the story that good? Make it make sense

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The live Action Lion King and its successor Mufasa are a slap to the face of the original animated movie and I refuse to watch them.

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That is a fair take, I see how you got there. The first one is 100% nothing less than a slap in the face to the original Lion King. But Mufasa tried (with its music, at least) to pay homage to the original. The characterizations were hit or miss, but when they hit, they were doing justice to the original characters.

For the most part, the fact that they changed the meaning of the first movie from "Take self-sacrificial responsibility" (that's not how I normally word it but I'm in a rush right now) to "don't be ashamed of who you are" is an enormous slap in the face. The fact that they changed Mufasa's character from "A King Gladly Assumes Self-Sacrificial Responsibility" to "Sometimes You're Just Special And You Should Own It" is also an enormous slap in the face.

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I gift you: a smeet to live and care for with zim.

You give me: ten tons of uranium.

Deal?

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I don’t… have ten tons of uranium…

Uh, more importantly; where did you get an irken smeet…?

@theamazingwormbabyzim, I think you should see this…

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WH. HUH???¿??????

WHY ON IRK DO YOU HAVE A SMEET.??????

I. W.H. WELL, I DOUBT THE SMEET WILL BE IN GOOD HANDS WITH TMNT-MAGGOTONBOTTLEAPP...

SO. I GUESS WE KEEP IT???????

I THINK I HAVE SOME URANIUM IN MY LAB, GIVE ME A SECOND..

-ZIM

Not that I’m doubting you or anything, lovebug, but you do know how to take care of a smeet, right…?

WH-

OF COURSE I DO!! I HAVE GIR AND MINIMOOSE, THEY'RE BASICALLY SMEETS, AND THEY'RE DOING GREAT.

PROBABLY A LOT MORE THAN THE HUMAN WHO JUST GAVE IT TO ME...

TRUST ME, DIB-HUN. THIS'LL PROBABLY BE A LOT BETTER FOR THE SMEET THAN LIVING WITH A SINGULAR HUMAN WHO EATS URANIUM.

- ZIM

The vibes Zim is giving off:

Nobody touches the fucking smeet. Lmao.

NOBODY WILL TOUCH THE FUCKING SMEET!!!!!!

BESIDES MY DIB-LOVE, OF COURSE.

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, NONE OF YOU GET TO TOUCH THEM!!!!!!

- ZIM

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HAI EVERYONE!!! Here’s a drawin a made of bill, dib and neb (snarl beast.) in my aliens exist au! :D

And here’s the new aliens exist chapter!! :3 this one was fun 2 write! :D

Fic link + fic Tags are below!

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bigfrozensix

“Ariel sold her voice for legs just because of a guy“

Meanwhile Ariel with legs;

Ariel already loved the human world long before meeting Eric (you don’t get a collection like hers overnight) and when she finally got a chance to explore it, she took it.

Ursula made it more about Eric than Ariel ever did.

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atalana

and i mean hell this has been talked about before in more depth than i can, but when people complain about how the ending was changed (the original fairytale does not give ariel a happy ending, she dies trying to protect the prince), i think about the fact that this was written by a gay man in the 1980s

and i think it’s entirely valid (and gives her an extremely strong connection to the queer community) to change the story so she doesn’t die because of who she loves

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geeky92

*Written by a gay man in the 1890s.

Other than that, yes to all of this! 👍

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turbomun

Definitely had to draw something to commemorate the end of Kri Society :) it was a long road to get here, but I’m glad to have finished!

Read the completed fic here!

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30 otps [3/30] - Zim/Dib (Invader Zim)

“You’re nothing, Earth boy! Go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self!” “Okay… there’s all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.”

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zosalot

LOL omg Look how seriously intimidated Zim is in the third image. XD

Insane children

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reblogged

Zim's been sleeping by his side and to make sure Dib never suspected as such, he literally never told him the ship could be left on autopilot just fine actually

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