I'm the giant rat that makes all of da rules

came back wrong (woke up tired)

Everyone say thank you american indigenous people for cultivating corn, potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, cacao, pumpkin, squash, and anything i missed. Makes life more meaningful globally

wheres seasons greasons

its that time of year again

It doesn’t have to be

its not optional

Did I watch this several times?

Did I giggle every time?

This is a masterpiece. I don’t think you need to have even read or watched Pride and Prejudice to appreciate this, though of course if you actually know Pride and Prejudice this goes from funny to hysterical.

@l0vegl0wsinthedark

DARCY STOP TALKING 🗣🗣🗣

By weaving popsicle sticks together in a specific pattern, there is a build up potential energy (stored energy) in the bent and twisted sticks. When released from one end, this stored potential energy is converted into kinetic energy (energy of motion) as the sticks rapidly unfurl and fly through the air in a chain reaction.

... i miss domino day

Thinking about some of the shit people say while fucking in porn. Like “Yea u like my pussy?” What the fuck is the dude plowing you like a tractor supposed to say to that? No? 

No I hate your pussy. I am leaving now. Do not talk to me ever again.

the worst part about cardio is the laundry

“ancient Greeks exercised naked for spiritual or sexual reasons” no they exercised naked because they didn’t own automatic washing machines

This is galaxy brain thinking

im only a man when im a grown ass man and im only a woman when god forbid women do anything

any time other than that? im a fucking Echidna

ENIGMA. FUCK

*touches ground* forg was here

P.S. This is a brush your teeth reminder blog. If this would be helpful for you, pls give it a follow. I implore everyone to take their oral health seriously. You will save yourself so much pain and money in the future. 🫶

coding got me saying shit like “target the child” “assign its class” “override its inheritance” like the third wife of a dying oil baron discovering his of-age son born out of wedlock

Girl suffering mental illnesses and crippling loneliness: “I’m struggling bad but it’s definitely my fault actually, I just need to try harder somehow. I just need to find a way to try harder”

Please note. The orange one is not included because A. He isn’t a billionaire. And B. Calling him obnoxious is too kind for him.

ive found that partially treated mental illness can sometimes look to uninvolved onlookers like faked mental illness.

"someone who really has pOCD would be disgusted and horrified at their intrusive thoughts" or maybe i'm in therapy & am going by the books, being radically ambivalent to my intrusive thoughts instead of wasting energy mentally washing my paws of sin. i'm not going to perform my rock bottom for you for the sake of being believed.

"I won't perform my rock bottom for you for the sake of being believed" is going straight into my permanent storage holy shit