i’m a sicko

the thing about adulthood is when someone says something extremely rude to you, you can either turn the other cheek or calmly & firmly correct them. The third option is to tell them “say that again, I’ll bite you” & everyone sort of nervously laughs and tries to move on from your little joke. Which is why I think it’s very important that when they do say it again you follow through. Nobody actually expects you to bite them. We should be biting more. Also if you’re with the county health department do not read thi s post

if i had a dollar for every pixel in this image i’d have 15 cents

if i had a dollar for every ounce of rage i felt in my body after i read this comment i would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

actually I did the math, they would have $225, not $0.15

sis i’m right here….

if i had a dollar i would buy a can of soda :)

while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

sorry i only have a dollar

:(

hey I just realized my friend Vriska is right, they would have $22500 not $225

^my friend Vriska

if i had $22,500 i would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

You can buy anything you want with $22500

yeah and they want soda and apply juice

apply juice to what

directly to the forehead

Great post guys

String identified: a a a t ag ’ a ct a a a c ag t at a t ct a g t a ca t at acta t at, t a $, t $. ’ gt …. a a a a ca a :) ’ t c a a c a? a a a :( t a a gt, t a $ t $ ^ a a $, a ca a a a a c ca atg at t $ a a t at a a a c a c t at ct t t a Gat t g

Closest match: Barbus barbus genome assembly, chromosome: 1 Common name: Common Barbel

(image source)

@fish-identifier

my bear-man in christ i have already identified it

We can’t be certain until @fish-identifier calls it

I think a cocaine addiction is more ethical than owning four homes in the new york metro area.

writing job applications and thinking that perhaps I wasn't made for this world

guys I just found the greatest video on the internet

What did I watch

writing job applications and thinking that perhaps I wasn't made for this world

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

I made this from 2 years ago and why y'all reblogging so much?!?!

is this not the guy from impractical jokers??

really recommend getting a partner with a different religion than you and very little knowledge of your religion because the opportunities for explaining things to each other are just exquisite

yesterday she told me some story about the Buddha's wife and child and I was like. Wait. He fucked? And she was like yeah of course he fucked, why wouldn't he, he was the most attractive and loveable and and wise and etc. person who ever lived. why would he not fuck.

this morning she looked perplexed in the kitchen at me and said "did Jesus not fuck?"

Mechanical snencils

‘we need more problematic women’ you guys couldn’t handle yoko ono