🪐 25 🚀

Elephants from Beautiful Katamari

both fish and women love me

give a woman a ring and she'll eat for a day. give a woman a lifetime fishing license and she'll be loved and feared by all marine life for eternity

Posts a spider would make

Hey chat, what the fuck did I mean by this?

official fish post

Many different species of lethal embarrassment in the world, but none quite so lethal as convincing a friend to sit down and watch a movie/show which changed your life when you first saw it only to realize with dawning horror that it's mid at best.

Bonus points if there's a bunch of really racist/sexist/homophobic bits that you genuinely didn't catch the first time around because you were like fourteen, but now you're thirty and experiencing it for the first time in over a decade, and Jesus fuck.

Saw this on reddit and it genuinely felt like a Tumblr post that ended up on the wrong website by accident

who else up hurkleing their durkleing

One of my favorite genres of insane Terminally Online Right Wing posting is *sees a pretty woman* "I am a gay pedophile"

not even allowed to keep adolescent sex slaves anymore. because of woke

The guy who shot Bin Laden branching out on this phenomenon a bit by directing his sexual desires towards actual young men

And he doubled down on it!

not even allowed to keep a harem of adolescent sex slaves and eat human flesh anymore. because of woke

No one asked for your take on this Human Pet Guy

[tumblr] is a beautiful website where all kinds of people come to diversify their echolalia

have you guys heard about cats

they go meow btw. not that you care

I care very much, keep going

ok so get this they have ears that go △

Being a little too cold: brrrr i’m a little too cold !!!

Being a little too warm: i am going to kill the next person who makes eye contact with me.

Teeth weak as fuck why can't you be like bones

Bones: with time I will mend this fracture stronger then ever. You were wise to put your faith in me.

Teeth: auuggh pleeasseee get this granule of sugar awaaayy from meee I am MELTING and BURNING nnnNNOOO you are cleaning me TOO HARD;! aaaiughh my fucking enamellll one billion cavities for you!!! Your sins against me are PERMANENT you SICK BITCH

Fuji?! MeLoNiE? BANANTHONY?! I would cherish them with my whole and entire heart.

(@kalliopeyvonneceramics)

@cookinguptales

I spent the whole time worrying that she was gonna drop one so I'll tell other viewers in advance: she doesn't drop any

My boss is making me work even though theres discord channels to read like morning paper?

i will come kill him with my demon blade

Sometimes I worry you like the demon blade more than you like me