i could never really put my finger on it but those posts that are like "if you think you're [mspec label] but you only like being with women you're really a lesbian with comphet" never felt right to me.
like, yeah, i'm sure a lot of those people are really lesbians with comphet. i wholeheartedly support lesbians who used to id as multisexual. but a lot of them are also multisexual women who have trauma, or a general fear of men, or a strong aversion to gender roles/toxic masculinity. so this goes out to my sisters:
💗 it's ok for your attraction to men to feel very different from your attraction to women. many multisexuals experience this
💜 it's ok to be attracted to men but not want to date them. maybe you'll get over it and date men, maybe you'll just make exceptions, or maybe you won't! that's ok too
💙 it's ok to be attracted to men but only be comfortable sleeping with women. there's a million reasons why that might be. you don't have to justify it
💖 it's ok to only be attracted to a few or a couple men while being attracted to a lot of women. you're still multisexual.
💛 it's ok to have no experience being with men and thus feel much more anxious about entering relationships with them
💙 it's ok to be attracted to men but find it much easier to see a happy future with women. i'm right there with you.
💗 it's ok to feel like your attraction to men is a negative thing. you shouldn't be ashamed of your attractions, and they absolutely aren't your fault, but positively reframing it takes time and work. it's ok to have baggage.
💚 it's ok to feel like you're not your geniune self when you're attracted to men. it's hard to untangle patriarchal gender roles from how we act and see the world
💙 it's ok to only like men who aren't traditionally masculine, or aren't cishet, or who let you have more control
💖 it's ok to only be attracted to men romantically, but not sexually, and vice versa (even if you're attracted to women both romantically and sexually)
🧡💗💜 this one's gonna be controversial, but: it's also ok to be an mspec lesbian.
ya'll are so fucking valid and you don't have to incessantly question yourselves if it's stressful. you're not a "bad" or "fake" bisexual/pansexual/polysexual/multisexual for feeling this way 💖💜💛💚💙