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This Is A Bilbo Baggins Simp Blog

@gamgeesgarden

Matchup Requests: OPEN.....Headcannon Requests: OPEN
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gamgeesgarden
After retaking Erebor
Balin: Thorin, what do you have to say to the people who doubted your success?
Thorin, lips touching the microphone: how does my entire ass taste
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the-haiku-bot

Thorin, lips touching

the microphone: how does my

entire ass taste

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

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gamgeesgarden

This being a haiku is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me

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Eowyn: This is my husband, Faramir. He's so handsome and talented and amazing and I'm very proud of him.
Arwen: This is my wonderful husband, Aragorn. I love him very much and believe in him.
Legolas: This is my husband, Gimli. He’s just been cleared of fleas.
#legolas#legolas greenleaf#Legolas x Gimli#Arwen#arwen evenstar#aragorn estel#aragorn#faramir#eowyn#LOTR#incorrect lotr quotes#lord of the rings#incorrect lord of the rings quotes#incorrect lord of there rings quotes#incorrect lord of the rings#hobbit#the hobbit#incorrect the hobbit quotes#incorrect Hobbit quotes#incorrect quotes#s: unknown
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Bofur: *accidently hits his head*
Bombur, rushing over: I got an ice pack from the freezer.
Bofur: Why do you have chocolate on your face?
Bombur: It was under a pie.
Bofur: So you ate your way to it?
Bombur: I made a judgement call. You weren’t there.
#bombur#bofur#hobbit#the hobbit#incorrect the hobbit quotes#incorrect Hobbit quotes#lord of the rings#incorrect lord of the rings#incorrect lord of there rings quotes#incorrect lord of the rings quotes#LOTR#incorrect lotr quotes#incorrect quotes#s: modern family
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Thorin: I remember the first time I saw him. I was like, 'Holy shit. I'm gonna fall in love with this person.'
Balin: Oh, that's sweet. Bilbo, what did you think the first time you saw Thorin?
Bilbo: I thought, 'Oh shit. This guy's gonna kill me'.
#bilbo baggins#bilbo#thorin#Thorin Oakenshield#Balin#bagginshield#lord of the rings#incorrect lord of there rings quotes#incorrect lord of the rings quotes#incorrect lord of the rings#the hobbit#hobbit#incorrect Hobbit quotes#incorrect the hobbit quotes#LOTR#incorrect lotr quotes#incorrect quotes#s: tumblr
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Ori: I’m cold.
Fili: Here, take my jacket.
Bilbo: I’m cold.
Thorin: What? [taking off jacket] I told you to bring more layers but of course you didn’t listen and now [piling scarves on him] now look, I’ve got to make sure you don’t FREEZE to death and [taking somebody else’s hat] how long have you been cold you should’ve said something sooner.
#thorin#Thorin Oakenshield#bilbo#bilbo baggins#bagginshield#fili#fili durin#ori#lord of the rings#incorrect lord of the rings#incorrect lord of the rings quotes#incorrect lord of there rings quotes#LOTR#incorrect lotr quotes#hobbit#the hobbit#incorrect Hobbit quotes#incorrect the hobbit quotes#incorrect quotes#s: tumblr
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Pippin: Sam yelled at me.
Pippin: Apparently I'm "immature" and "arrogant" and "Pippin"
Pippin: that last one was just my name, but you should have heard the way he said it.
#pippin took#Pippin#Peregrin Took#samwise gamgee#samwise#sam gamgee#lord of the rings#incorrect lord of there rings quotes#incorrect lord of the rings quotes#incorrect lord of the rings#LOTR#incorrect lotr quotes#hobbit#the hobbit#incorrect Hobbit quotes#incorrect the hobbit quotes#incorrect quotes#s: brooklyn 99
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Thorin: I'm ruining your reputation, aren't I?
Bilbo: Don't worry, I've been hard at work trying to ruin my reputation for years. Perhaps after this, influential families will stop trying to catapult their unwed daughters over my garden fence.
#thorin#Thorin Oakenshield#bilbo baggins#bilbo#bagginshield#lord of the rings#incorrect lord of there rings quotes#incorrect lord of the rings quotes#incorrect lord of the rings#hobbit#the hobbit#incorrect the hobbit quotes#incorrect Hobbit quotes#LOTR#incorrect lotr quotes#incorrect quotes#s: sorcery of thorns
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Nori, in a sweet innocent tone of voice: Please let me go. I'm just a sweet little boy who got caught up with the wrong crowd.
Dwalin: How did you get out of the handcuffs?
Nori, normal voice: Ah, just a trick I learned in juvie.
#nori#dwalin#lord of the rings#incorrect lord of there rings quotes#incorrect lord of the rings#LOTR#incorrect lord of the rings quotes#incorrect lotr quotes#hobbit#the hobbit#incorrect Hobbit quotes#incorrect the hobbit quotes#incorrect quotes#s: icarly
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Bilbo: We call this a traumatic event.
Bilbo, looking at Kili: Not "a major L"
Bilbo, turning to Fili: Not a "lmao that sucks"
Bilbo, turning to Thorin: Not a "it is what it is"
#bilbo baggins#bilbo#thorin#Thorin Oakenshield#kili#kili durin#fili#fili durin#LOTR#lord of the rings#incorrect lord of there rings quotes#incorrect lord of the rings quotes#incorrect lord of the rings#incorrect lotr quotes#hobbit#the hobbit#incorrect the hobbit quotes#incorrect Hobbit quotes#incorrect quotes#s: tumblr
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