Gallicka

#lemme give you a rundown of my life #i’ve spent 60 years in the wilds of the north being a god damn ranger #i’ve tracked down motherfuckin gollum and brought him to mirkwood #do you know what mirkwood is #do you know the kind of spiders that live there #yeah i thought not #i have battled orc armies in THREE CONSECUTIVE MOVIES #I HAVE RAN ACROSS THE FIELDS OF ROHAN #do you know how big that is #it’s like the english countryside but as big and as wide as motherfuckin canada #(i’m guessing) #i have battled the RINGWRAITHS. ya that’s right. all nine of them. WITH A TORCH. AND FOUR HOBBITS WIELDING TOOTHPICKS. #with the one ring as bait #i have been dragged down a cliff by a fuckin warg #i have summoned the armies of the dead to defeat the corsairs of umbar #i have lived a hard motherfuckin life and if you think bad dental hygiene will scare me then bitch the only scary thing about that is the amount of STDs i can catch if i stick my tongue in your mouth #go home. you’ve been dismissed.

THE MOST FUCKING PERFECT OF TAGS

Boromir: It is over. The world of Men will fall. And my city to ruin. Aragorn: I do not know what strength is in my blood, but I swear to you, I will not let the White City fall, nor our people fail. Boromir: Our people… [reaches for his sword and Aragorn hands it to him, where he clasps it to his chest] I would have followed you, my brother, my captain, my king. Aragorn: Be at peace, Son of Gondor. [kisses his forehead, then stands] They will look for his coming from the White Tower, but he will not return.