Help me afford top surgery

Hi y'all, for those who don't know me, I'm a disbled, neurodivergent, trans man living in Cape Town, South Africa. I'm also a gradstudent in Astronomy currently finishing up my MSc, an artist and a poet.

In South Africa we don't really have many options to pursue transition, our private medical aids and insurance don't cover any of it, not even hospital costs as they classify gender affirming care as a cosmetic process instead of the life saving medical care we all know it is. Going through the public health sector is also not really an option as the waitlist is over 26 years long due to our national government again sees gender affirming care as purely cosmetic and only gives one spot for any gender affirming surgery per year.

In South Africa there's also still alot of stigma around being trans and trans people face violence and discrimination on a daily basis, so in addition to the usual benefits of getting top surgery, it will also greatly improve my safety

This is however very expensive, being a student I am on a very tight budget, living paycheck to paycheck already, trying to save up for a procedure that vosts nearly my entire yearly income is next to impossible, I also can't turn to my family in this instance as they are extremely transphobic

So the only option I have left is to try and crowdfund it. As I am South African I unfortunately can't use go fund me, so I'm using the south african croudfunding service, backabuddy, it does accept paypall and I-Pay

Any and all help will be greatly appreciated

So far I have raised:

R11 111.00/R120 000.00

$590.13/$6 374.00

(usd for convenience, conversion rate on 6 march 2024, $1 = R18.83)

Can we talk about how lonely it feels to no longer be religious in a religious family? Not only is it another way in which we've grown apart, but I also know it would break their hearts to know where I stand- that I am no longer Christian.

Also seeing my nieces and nephews being introduced to religion is very bittersweet. Yes, them praying so ernestly is cute and pure, but I can't help but think about what lies in wait for them. Will they overcome everything that religion adds as obstacles? If they move away from religion, will they survive it- it's no easy path? either.

I thought the loneliness lied in the secrecy of my change in beliefs. But even after being out of the church for 7 months it’s still lonely. You can’t talk about new life milestones that don’t align with the church (ie drinking, sex, dating) or share your true feelings on topics that come up. You’re just bottling your true self up to keep things comfortable. I have a few great friends, but it’s a shitty feeling that you don’t have the same dynamic with family. And I feel the same with nieces and nephews!!! Bittersweet to think they’ll end up homophonic one day

There very much is a bittersweet grief with leaving behind something that encompassed so much of your life for so long, and the loneliness of it can be overwhelming at times, but it does get better.

The loneliness does pass with time, as we meet new people and build new lives, we find those who are excited about our milestones with us, and with them, we build a new family, one where we can be ourselves. It just takes time to get there, I'm over 5 years out of my church now, and I'm still in the process of meeting my people and building my community

And who knows about your nieces and nephews, maybe some of them will be able to get out too, because afterall, you did

Help me afford top surgery

Hi y'all, for those who don't know me, I'm a disbled, neurodivergent, trans man living in Cape Town, South Africa. I'm also a gradstudent in Astronomy currently finishing up my MSc, an artist and a poet.

In South Africa we don't really have many options to pursue transition, our private medical aids and insurance don't cover any of it, not even hospital costs as they classify gender affirming care as a cosmetic process instead of the life saving medical care we all know it is. Going through the public health sector is also not really an option as the waitlist is over 26 years long due to our national government again seeing gender affirming care as purely cosmetic and only giving one spot for any gender affirming surgery per year.

In South Africa there's also still alot of stigma around being trans and trans people face violence and discrimination on a daily basis, so in addition to the usual benefits of getting top surgery, it will also greatly improve my safety

This is however very expensive, being a student I am on a very tight budget, living paycheck to paycheck already, trying to save up for a procedure that costs nearly my entire yearly income is next to impossible, I also can't turn to my family in this instance as they are extremely transphobic

So the only option I have left is to try and crowdfund it. As I am South African I unfortunately can't use go fund me, so I'm using the South African croudfunding service, backabuddy, it does accept paypall and I-Pay

Any and all help will be greatly appreciated

So far I have raised:

R11 111.00/R120 000.00

$590.13/$6 374.00

(usd for convenience, conversion rate on 6 march 2024, $1 = R18.83)

Help me afford top surgery

Hi y'all, for those who don't know me, I'm a disbled, neurodivergent, trans man living in Cape Town, South Africa. I'm also a gradstudent in Astronomy currently finishing up my MSc, an artist and a poet.

In South Africa we don't really have many options to pursue transition, our private medical aids and insurance don't cover any of it, not even hospital costs as they classify gender affirming care as a cosmetic process instead of the life saving medical care we all know it is. Going through the public health sector is also not really an option as the waitlist is over 26 years long due to our national government again sees gender affirming care as purely cosmetic and only gives one spot for any gender affirming surgery per year.

In South Africa there's also still alot of stigma around being trans and trans people face violence and discrimination on a daily basis, so in addition to the usual benefits of getting top surgery, it will also greatly improve my safety

This is however very expensive, being a student I am on a very tight budget, living paycheck to paycheck already, trying to save up for a procedure that vosts nearly my entire yearly income is next to impossible, I also can't turn to my family in this instance as they are extremely transphobic

So the only option I have left is to try and crowdfund it. As I am South African I unfortunately can't use go fund me, so I'm using the south african croudfunding service, backabuddy, it does accept paypall and I-Pay

Any and all help will be greatly appreciated

So far I have raised:

R11 111.00/R120 000.00

$590.13/$6 374.00

(usd for convenience, conversion rate on 6 march 2024, $1 = R18.83)

Help me afford top surgery

Hi y'all, for those who don't know me, I'm a disbled, neurodivergent, trans man living in Cape Town, South Africa. I'm also a gradstudent in Astronomy currently finishing up my MSc, an artist and a poet.

In South Africa we don't really have many options to pursue transition, our private medical aids and insurance don't cover any of it, not even hospital costs as they classify gender affirming care as a cosmetic process instead of the life saving medical care we all know it is. Going through the public health sector is also not really an option as the waitlist is over 26 years long due to our national government again sees gender affirming care as purely cosmetic and only gives one spot for any gender affirming surgery per year.

In South Africa there's also still alot of stigma around being trans and trans people face violence and discrimination on a daily basis, so in addition to the usual benefits of getting top surgery, it will also greatly improve my safety

This is however very expensive, being a student I am on a very tight budget, living paycheck to paycheck already, trying to save up for a procedure that vosts nearly my entire yearly income is next to impossible, I also can't turn to my family in this instance as they are extremely transphobic

So the only option I have left is to try and crowdfund it. As I am South African I unfortunately can't use go fund me, so I'm using the south african croudfunding service, backabuddy, it does accept paypall and I-Pay

Any and all help will be greatly appreciated

So far I have raised:

R11 111.00/R120 000.00

$590.13/$6 374.00

(usd for convenience, conversion rate on 6 march 2024, $1 = R18.83)

Can we talk about how lonely it feels to no longer be religious in a religious family? Not only is it another way in which we've grown apart, but I also know it would break their hearts to know where I stand- that I am no longer Christian.

Also seeing my nieces and nephews being introduced to religion is very bittersweet. Yes, them praying so ernestly is cute and pure, but I can't help but think about what lies in wait for them. Will they overcome everything that religion adds as obstacles? If they move away from religion, will they survive it- it's no easy path? either.

The other thing about discussing harmful things about the christian church and getting "that's not what that verse really means/that's not how that doctrine should be applied/that's not actually supported biblically/etc" back is that... at a certain point it doesn't matter. Yes there are varying beliefs within christianity (understatement with 45,000 different denominations lmao), but you don't get to claim that christianity is separate from any harmful beliefs when a lot of harmful beliefs are the majority.

You can say "the bible wasn't ever talking about gay relationships in [xyz] verses" but that doesn't make the average church actually safe and affirming for queer people. You can say "actually hell doesn't have any biblical backing" but that doesn't mean very much when like 75-80% of christians believe in hell. You can say "men and women are equal in the eyes of the Lord" but it doesn't erase the rampant misogyny in christian culture.

If the members make up the church, if members are the church, then at a certain point the cultural beliefs or majority beliefs have precedence over what was intended. You can't say "oh just ignore [belief/doctrine/interpretation/etc]" when that would be dismissing the church's most predominant collective beliefs. You don't get to just disregard harm because that "wasn't the intention". You don't get to look at the result of said harm and decide it doesn't matter because it makes you look bad.

Help me afford top surgery

Hi y'all, for those who don't know me, I'm a disbled, neurodivergent, trans man living in Cape Town, South Africa. I'm also a gradstudent in Astronomy currently finishing up my MSc, an artist and a poet.

In South Africa we don't really have many options to pursue transition, our private medical aids and insurance don't cover any of it, not even hospital costs as they classify gender affirming care as a cosmetic process instead of the life saving medical care we all know it is. Going through the public health sector is also not really an option as the waitlist is over 26 years long due to our national government again sees gender affirming care as purely cosmetic and only gives one spot for any gender affirming surgery per year.

In South Africa there's also still alot of stigma around being trans and trans people face violence and discrimination on a daily basis, so in addition to the usual benefits of getting top surgery, it will also greatly improve my safety

This is however very expensive, being a student I am on a very tight budget, living paycheck to paycheck already, trying to save up for a procedure that vosts nearly my entire yearly income is next to impossible, I also can't turn to my family in this instance as they are extremely transphobic

So the only option I have left is to try and crowdfund it. As I am South African I unfortunately can't use go fund me, so I'm using the south african croudfunding service, backabuddy, it does accept paypall and I-Pay

Any and all help will be greatly appreciated

So far I have raised:

R11 111.00/R120 000.00

$590.13/$6 374.00

(usd for convenience, conversion rate on 6 march 2024, $1 = R18.83)

Help me afford top surgery

Hi y'all, for those who don't know me, I'm a disbled, neurodivergent, trans man living in Cape Town, South Africa. I'm also a gradstudent in Astronomy currently finishing up my MSc, an artist and a poet.

In South Africa we don't really have many options to pursue transition, our private medical aids and insurance don't cover any of it, not even hospital costs as they classify gender affirming care as a cosmetic process instead of the life saving medical care we all know it is. Going through the public health sector is also not really an option as the waitlist is over 26 years long due to our national government again sees gender affirming care as purely cosmetic and only gives one spot for any gender affirming surgery per year.

In South Africa there's also still alot of stigma around being trans and trans people face violence and discrimination on a daily basis, so in addition to the usual benefits of getting top surgery, it will also greatly improve my safety

This is however very expensive, being a student I am on a very tight budget, living paycheck to paycheck already, trying to save up for a procedure that vosts nearly my entire yearly income is next to impossible, I also can't turn to my family in this instance as they are extremely transphobic

So the only option I have left is to try and crowdfund it. As I am South African I unfortunately can't use go fund me, so I'm using the south african croudfunding service, backabuddy, it does accept paypall and I-Pay

Any and all help will be greatly appreciated

So far I have raised:

R11 111.00/R120 000.00

$590.13/$6 374.00

(usd for convenience, conversion rate on 6 march 2024, $1 = R18.83)

Help me afford top surgery

Hi y'all, for those who don't know me, I'm a disbled, neurodivergent, trans man living in Cape Town, South Africa. I'm also a gradstudent in Astronomy currently finishing up my MSc, an artist and a poet.

In South Africa we don't really have many options to pursue transition, our private medical aids and insurance don't cover any of it, not even hospital costs as they classify gender affirming care as a cosmetic process instead of the life saving medical care we all know it is. Going through the public health sector is also not really an option as the waitlist is over 26 years long due to our national government again sees gender affirming care as purely cosmetic and only gives one spot for any gender affirming surgery per year.

In South Africa there's also still alot of stigma around being trans and trans people face violence and discrimination on a daily basis, so in addition to the usual benefits of getting top surgery, it will also greatly improve my safety

This is however very expensive, being a student I am on a very tight budget, living paycheck to paycheck already, trying to save up for a procedure that vosts nearly my entire yearly income is next to impossible, I also can't turn to my family in this instance as they are extremely transphobic

So the only option I have left is to try and crowdfund it. As I am South African I unfortunately can't use go fund me, so I'm using the south african croudfunding service, backabuddy, it does accept paypall and I-Pay

Any and all help will be greatly appreciated

So far I have raised:

R11 111.00/R120 000.00

$590.13/$6 374.00

(usd for convenience, conversion rate on 6 march 2024, $1 = R18.83)

"none of these words are in the bible" you're not even reading the secret part of the bible. with all my posts in it

-- Joseph Smith

Of all the heresy I have ever encountered the Book of Mormon has got to have been one of the funniest reads. The idea that anybody could be swindled by that swill baffles me to this day.

An interpolator of the highest magnitude and a serial polygamist. It is no surprise the two go hand in hand.

Help me afford top surgery

Hi y'all, for those who don't know me, I'm a disbled, neurodivergent, trans man living in Cape Town, South Africa. I'm also a gradstudent in Astronomy currently finishing up my MSc, an artist and a poet.

In South Africa we don't really have many options to pursue transition, our private medical aids and insurance don't cover any of it, not even hospital costs as they classify gender affirming care as a cosmetic process instead of the life saving medical care we all know it is. Going through the public health sector is also not really an option as the waitlist is over 26 years long due to our national government again sees gender affirming care as purely cosmetic and only gives one spot for any gender affirming surgery per year.

In South Africa there's also still alot of stigma around being trans and trans people face violence and discrimination on a daily basis, so in addition to the usual benefits of getting top surgery, it will also greatly improve my safety

This is however very expensive, being a student I am on a very tight budget, living paycheck to paycheck already, trying to save up for a procedure that vosts nearly my entire yearly income is next to impossible, I also can't turn to my family in this instance as they are extremely transphobic

So the only option I have left is to try and crowdfund it. As I am South African I unfortunately can't use go fund me, so I'm using the south african croudfunding service, backabuddy, it does accept paypall and I-Pay

Any and all help will be greatly appreciated

So far I have raised:

R11 111.00/R120 000.00

$590.13/$6 374.00

(usd for convenience, conversion rate on 6 march 2024, $1 = R18.83)

Help me afford top surgery

Hi y'all, for those who don't know me, I'm a disbled, neurodivergent, trans man living in Cape Town, South Africa. I'm also a gradstudent in Astronomy currently finishing up my MSc, an artist and a poet.

In South Africa we don't really have many options to pursue transition, our private medical aids and insurance don't cover any of it, not even hospital costs as they classify gender affirming care as a cosmetic process instead of the life saving medical care we all know it is. Going through the public health sector is also not really an option as the waitlist is over 26 years long due to our national government again sees gender affirming care as purely cosmetic and only gives one spot for any gender affirming surgery per year.

In South Africa there's also still alot of stigma around being trans and trans people face violence and discrimination on a daily basis, so in addition to the usual benefits of getting top surgery, it will also greatly improve my safety

This is however very expensive, being a student I am on a very tight budget, living paycheck to paycheck already, trying to save up for a procedure that vosts nearly my entire yearly income is next to impossible, I also can't turn to my family in this instance as they are extremely transphobic

So the only option I have left is to try and crowdfund it. As I am South African I unfortunately can't use go fund me, so I'm using the south african croudfunding service, backabuddy, it does accept paypall and I-Pay

Any and all help will be greatly appreciated

So far I have raised:

R11 111.00/R120 000.00

$590.13/$6 374.00

(usd for convenience, conversion rate on 6 march 2024, $1 = R18.83)

The family pastor decided to preach about prayer yesterday. About how a Christian should understand the the answer to a prayer can be no, or not yet. That sometimes you need to work on yourself and change yourself before your prayer will be answered.

But here's the problem, I never prayed for anything other than for god to change me. The prayer I said over a million times is the one where I asked him to make me into who he wants me to be. The one where I ask him to take away my gay thoughts and desires, to make into a straight cis girl. Which is what the church believes is the only way I'm supposed to exist. Those prayers were never answered, which leads me to one of three conclusions.

1. God is a sadistic shithead who enjoys watching people suffer and get abused by his supposed children, and enjoys sending people to hell

2. There's nothing wrong with me being the bi trans man that I am, I'm already who god wants me to be and the whole church is wrong. But they'll never believe that coming from me.

3. He doesn't exist

Number 3 seems most likely, cause I've never gotten any answers. And in the case of number 1, I can't worship a god like that. And in the case of number 2, I still can't worship that god. He and his people have committed too many artrocities for him to deserve kind of worship regardless of his stance on lgbtq people.

And I wish I could talk to that pastor about this, get him to see what he has done over years and years. But I can't, if I do that he'll talk to my parents and I'll be in trouble for it all again. And we know what happend last time I came out. I very narrowly avoided ending up on the street. I very narrowly avoided multiple broken bones. I had to wear long sleeved clothing in the middle of summer to hide the bruses that were too sensitive to cover with makeup. I don't want to do that again.

But I need answers. I need to know if that pastor knows what he did, what damage he's done, that he's done damage. I'm not even the only one from this congregation with experiences like this. I wonder if he knows that when he preaches that being gay is a sin it hurts people, it makes our lives so much harder and for what? For a fictional man in the sky? For an imaginary friend?

So the pastor in question is being a shithead about lgbtq people again, and is one of the lead pastors in an attempt to get one of the major south african churches to retract their statement accepting gay marrige (that was only made in 2019 after a major court case) his and about half of the congregations of this specific curch have now formed a new sinode to fight against the main one. While I don't care much for christianity or the church, this shit is gonna end badly, it's gonna cause so many more kids to grow up in an environment like I did, one where they have to constantly hide who they are, cause the church is teaching them, their peers and their parents to hate.

So I would like nothing more this easter than having their inbox filled to the brim with mail telling them how they're hurting people

Here's their email address if you'd like to participate:

[email protected]

Unfortunately I don't have a convenient template for y'all to copy paste

One roman soldier gaudring Jesus's tomb turns to the other and says: "Y'know what wil be fucking hilarious?" And now we have christianity

Yeah yeah religious trauma and internalized homophobia suck but sometimes I get these moments of overwhelming joy at the fact that I am queer and proud I am not religious anymore I have a life ahead of me where I can celebrate pleasure and love and intellectual freedom without constraint like fuck yeah this is what I'm sticking around for!!!!!!!

kids who werent raised christian being like "lol baptising children is whack if they tried to do that to me i would start doing things to make it look like i was possessed" no you would not. you would bask in the pride and approval coming from the adults around you and you would quietly wait your turn because you were told from birth that sinning sends you to hell and baptism is The Promise that youre dedicating your life to jesus that youve had hyped up for years and watched other people be fawned over as they cry happy tears about it and you do NOT want to fuck up your One Big True Promise To Love Jesus Forever So You Don't Get Tortured For Eternity when you are literally 8 years old. im begging yall to remember its a thousand times easier to see the church's bullshit for what it is when you're not actively in the church. eight year old you is not thinking about trying to fight back against an oppressive religious group indoctrinating children because You Are The Children Being Indoctrinated. stop acting like you would've magically known better if it were you.

Here's the thing: even as a child who DID see through the bullshit very young, I still had to play the game. That's part of what was traumatizing. I had to play a constant game of make believe to placate the adults around me. I was a child responsible for the emotions of adults, because if I didn't play pretend well enough, they all got mad. Because I knew it was pretend, but they refused to believe it was anything other than stone cold fact, and denying that fact made you a horrible, stupid, evil person. It was the greatest show of immorality (which yes, I also thought was bullshit, but I was nine and being shamed for who I was).

When you're wholly reliant on someone to meet your basic needs, you're forced to play their twisted game or put yourself at risk. If I made us miss church, most of the day I felt like I was a terrible child because it would be made clear that my mom was mad at me for making us miss church - a place I hated being with every fiber of my being. So I had to decide: was it better to feel unsafe for 2-3hrs in church, or feel unsafe for 2-3hrs at home because mom was mad that we missed church and didn't want to listen to me talk about anything?

It was a no-win situation that I, a nine year old, had to navigate, because the adults in my life cared more about their make believe story than my safety and well being.

So no, even as a kid who knows it's all a pile of shit, you don't kick up and point out the bullshit - because it's not safe. Maybe you won't get beat, maybe you'll still have dinner that night (or maybe not - some parents ARE that abusive), but you'll still face the emotional abuse of being shamed and disliked simply for not playing make-believe with the adults. They'll make you feel like you're a fundamentally bad person for not wholly and completely committing to their made up story the same way they did.

And that is a scary, painful thing to realize when you're nine.

Tbh, thats a scary, painful thing when you're an adult too, cause yeah, you might have the option to leave or openly declare your disbelief, but at what cost?

You stand to lose your entire family and in many cases your entire community, to be shamed by them, to be ridiculed by them, you'll turn into the very thing they fear most and chance are you won't have anyone else in those moments. Its very insular and talking to outsiders is only encouraged if it's for the purpose of bringing them to Jesus, so even as an adult you often have no one to turn to and nowhere to go. It's an impossible situation to be in even for adults, a child is even more trapped and even more at risk. And even as a child you know that. It's not said in so many words, but the consequences of losing your faith and having someone find out is taught from very early on.

As a child it's not just you who has to face them, it's your siblings and parents too, it's your entire family, cause as a child your having faith is seen as your parent's responsibility, and they let you know that, if you fuck up, if you for one second look like you don't want to play their game your parents tell you "how do you think this makes me look?" It very quickly stops being concern for your soul and starts being "if you don't decide to stop making this family look bad you won't have one anymore"

And you know this happens, and that your family will do it too, cause you've seen it happened, you've seen another kid's family sitting in the very back of the curch and not staying for tea, you hear what the adults whisper about them, and you realize you have a choice, either play the game and play it well, or be the monster that puts your own family in that situation, and that's not much of a choice