not sure if you did this already but hc ace/bi aaron coming out to nicky. nicky realizing that aaron just didn’t want to here about nickys sex life. and aaron has internationalized homophobia. (day his mom beat him for something, also adding you fic about aaron’s being molested, or like luther doing something to aaron when he sent nicky to the camp.

So I kinda changed it but I hope you still like it

.....

Aaron knocked on Nicky's open door before he could talk himself out of it.

"Hey," he said when his cousin looked up from whatever he was doing on his laptop. "Can we talk about something?"

Nicky nodded, already opening his mouth as he closed his laptop over while Aaron walked into the room, closing the door behind himself.

"What's up?"

"I..." Aaron took a breath. But when he opened his mouth, nothing came out.

Nicky looked at him and Aaron wasn't sure if what he saw in his cousin's eyes was amusement or curiosity. Or both.

"Aaron, what's going on?"

"I just..." Another breath.

Now Nicky was starting to look concerned.

"Aaron? What is it?"

"I'm..." Aaron groaned. Why was this so fucking hard? "I really want to say this but I need you not to ask or say anything until I'm done because I don't think I'll say it if I don't just get it all out at once."

Nicky looked apprehensive, but nodded. He had moved his laptop and notebooks to the side of his bed, and Aaron belatedly realised he'd interrupted Nicky studying.

After a few seconds of patient silence from the man, Aaron took a breath. Always another fucking breath.

"I - I know I'm usually an asshole. About you and Erik. About you. About Andrew and Neil. About all of you being gay. And I know I'm an asshole to you whenever you mention other guys or anything to do with your sex life." A glance at his cousin showed that the man was paying attention and Aaron took another breath as he made himself continue. "It's not - it's not because you're gay. I know I say shit about you being gay, but I don't mean it. Not really. I don't really have a problem with you being gay, I never have, and I'm really, really fucking sorry that I made you think I did, especially after you survived fucking conversion therapy and still managed to find Erik after that shit. I'm really, really sorry."

Nicky looked like he wanted to interrupt, so Aaron kept going, trying not to focus on the fact his cousin was starting to well up.

"It's just because - it's just because it's sex. It's not because it's gay sex, I just say more shit about that. But the others going on about straight sex or whatever other kind of sex they have, it's all the same. It - the way you used to react whenever Dan and Matt brought up anything about their sex life. You'd joke about how gross it was. It feels like that. Anyone talking about any kind of sex. I just, I don't get it - how anyone can think it's good or enjoy it or even want it. I'm-"

The words froze in his throat and he gulped. Nicky was still watching him, something close to hope in his eyes. Eagerness?

Aaron took a breath. And another. When he opened his mouth, he could feel the words trying to claw their way back down into the pit of his stomach but he knew he'd never be able to say it if he let them.

"I'm asexual," he spat. It came out angry and hurt and everything he never wanted anyone to see.

Nicky was smiling softly, and when Aaron didn't say anything else, just looked back at him, his cousin gestured to his own mouth and throat. Aaron couldn't talk, so he just nodded his head.

He waited for his cousin to laugh. To joke. To make fun of him. To tell him he was broken and unnatural and that he'd change his mind if he just slept with someone or watched some good porn. But instead all the man said was: "Can I hug you?"

Aaron blinked, confused, but nodded slightly. He was wrapped up in Nicky's arms a second later, as his cousin held him close and Aaron felt himself starting to tremble as he realised his cousin wasn't going to tell him he was wrong.

"Thank you," Nicky said into his ear. "Thank you for telling me, for trusting me."

Aaron gulped.

"Does anyone else know?" Nicky asked and Aaron took a breath of his cousin's cologne as he tried to get his bearings.

"Just Andrew," he said, voice slightly muffled against Nicky's tshirt. "I knew he wouldn't care, so that made easier. And he said he and Neil already knew, anyway."

Nicky held him tighter then let go, keeping his hands on Aaron's shoulders as he pulled back slightly.

"I'm gonna tell Matt later," Aaron murmured. "I mean, he should know why I don't wanna sleep with him but still wanna go out with him."

Nicky was nodding along, gently rubbing circles into Aaron's shoulders as he spoke, the words tumbling out of his mouth.

"I just- I figured you'd be the hardest one to tell, so I thought your reaction would make Matt's seem easy in comparison."

When he looked up, Nicky was frowning at him. "Why would I be the hardest to tell?" he asked quietly, and Aaron gulped when he realised his cousin sounded hurt. Shit. "Aaron? Did you - did you think I wouldn't be ok with you being ace?"

Aaron took a breath. When he spoke, he couldn't look his cousin in the face.

"It's just- all that shit you said about Neil, before he and Andrew got together. About him not swinging, about how unnatural it was, how he just needed to go out with someone or get a date or get laid and it'd fix him, how he wasn't normal and was broken because he wasn't interested in having sex with anyone."

Nicky stared at him for a beat and then Aaron was pulled against his chest again, his cousins arms wrapped around him like a vice.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I - I thought it was a joke with him, I thought- fuck Aaron I'm so sorry."

Aaron buried his face in the crook of the man's neck and let him hold him.

Some time later, Nicky pulled back.

"Whenever you tell Matt," he said. "He'll be ok with it. And if he gives you shit, send him over to us, alright?" When Aaron nodded his cousin pulled him in again. "God, I'm sorry I said that shit- fuck. Are you good?" Aaron nodded again and his cousin took a breath. "Ok. OK. I'm gonna go apologise to Neil for saying that shit in the first place. I didn't- I didn't even realise it wasn't funny."

Aaron managed a weak smile. "You saying we just need to get laid is like me saying you just need to hook up with Allison," he whispered and Nicky made a noise in the back of his throat, pulling Aaron in again with another apology before he was hurrying out the room and the dorm, and Aaron heard him knocking at Andrew's door a few seconds later.

"Thank you," he whispered to the empty room.