Paladin: I don’t trust you... I had trusted you but you broke that trust.

Scumbag NPC: What’s that supposed to mean?

Paladin: It means repent on the way down.

And thus the paladin threw the NPC off the building.

That constant D&D mood

Player: I’ll try thinking one more time.

“They work like tonsils in the fact that they produce high amounts of electricity.”

-player who obviously failed biology

Dnd quote from last night:

“Not everyone who needs help is a sickly baby orphan, sometimes they’re a sickly baby orphan with a knife.”

(it was an out of character oversimplification of the principles of my paladin’s Oath)

DM: It places a long bony finger against your chest, driving it through your flesh and /rolls dice/ oh...

Player: Oh? What?

DM: Take 94 damage as-

Player: Okay... wait how much?

DM:  You take 94 damage as it drags its finger from your sternum to your waist, splitting your torso open.

Player: Oh no my clothes!

DM: 

“Gotcha, two dignities with one cheese.”

-the paladin, one of the few present whose self respect was not on the line