Hey, kiddo! I recently caught that little brat with the hat blabbering something about you being down in the dumps, and for my troubles she forced me to come and do something about it, being your... friend and all that mushy stuff.
Now, you know me, I am a strong believer that misery builds character, but I'm the first to admit that even that has to be done in fairness, and what you're going through... is too much to bear. Believe me, I would know.
But I also know you: you're persistent, strong and talented. You are more than capable to knock all this unfair situation to your favor. You remind me of that pesky little hat girl in more ways than one, which, you can imagine, is both annoying and strangely endearing.
...hey, what is that look for?! I'm not heartless! I can give compliments once in a while! Uuugh, that little girl has been hanging around me for far too long...
Anyways, consider yourself lucky I dropped by to grace with my presence and recieve my encouragement free of charge! Next time I'll come around these here parts, I'll make sure to have a contract to make up for today, so... be on the look out...
ALRIGHT!! I'M OFF! SMELL YOU LATER!
AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!