okay but real talk

someone: *is nice and a decent human being*

“mbti experts”: AH, YES, THEY’RE A FEELER!

someone: *doesn’t like parties*

“mbti experts”: INTROVERT ALERT! HYPER-INTROVERSION RIGHT HERE!

someone: *in high spirits and enthusiastic today*

“mbti experts”: OOH OOH ENFP WITHOUT A DOUBT!

someone: *likes art*

“mbti experts”: WELL THEN THEY CAN’T BE A SENSOR!!!

someone: *meets a deadline*

“mbti experts”: SO ORGANIZED, A JUDGING TYPE FOR SURE!

someone: *likes Star Trek*

“mbti experts”: OMG A REAL LIFE INTP!!!!!!!!

someone: *cares for someone exactly once*

“mbti experts”: DEFINITELY DOM EXTROVERTED FEELING! FE VIBES!!!!

someone: *does well in school*

“mbti experts”: A THINKER! YES!  T H I N K E R ! TRUE INTELLECTUAL!!1!!!1

someone: *cries once*

“mbti experts”: THEY’VE GOTTA BE INFP! AWW SWEETIE COME HERE

someone: *is bossy*

“mbti experts”: OH YES AN EXTJ NO OTHER EXPLANATION FOR THIS

someone: *remembers something*

“mbti experts”: I N T R O V E R T E D  S E N S I N G

someone: *flirts with someone*

“mbti experts”: AHHHH ESTP, OF COURSE!!!!!!

someone: *respects authority once*

“mbti experts”: MMMMMMMM GONNA SAY ISXJ YEEEEEP

someone: *meditates*

“mbti experts”: WHY YES, SE-DOM IN THEIR NATURAL HABITAT

someone: *likes plans*

“mbti experts”: INTROVERTED INTUITION! AHA! AHAAAAA! 

someone: *is stressed for like 30 seconds*

“mbti experts”: YOU’RE IN THE GRIP. OF COURSE. LET ME SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS BC YOU ARE DEFINITELY IN A COGNITIVE LOOP.

someone: “oh yeah, you know mbti? i took a cognitive function test. i didn’t know how accurate it was from its explanations, but i’ve done some more research and done some self-analysis, i think it fits pretty well. it gave me intj–”

“mbti experts”: UH NO YOU LITERALLY CAN’T BE INTJ??? WHO TOLD YOU THAT??? WELL THEY’RE WRONG SORRY. YOU MUST HAVE BEEN MISTYPED, LIKE THAT’S SOOOOO INACCURATE!!!! UGH I MEAN LOOK AT YOU? YOU’RE A NICE PERSON, INTJS AREN’T NICE WYM. AND YOU’RE LIKE SUPER LOW-KEY COME ON YOU’RE 23 INTJS HAVE ALREADY TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD BY AGE 20 WHAT ARE YOU DOING. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN THINKING????? I’M AN EXPERT ON THIS TOPIC, SUZIE. AN EXPERT. I KNOW MY STUFF. YOU DON’T EVEN LIKE COMPUTERS OR ANYTHING SCIENCE-Y SO YOU’RE DEFINITELY NOT AN EXTROVERTED THINKER. ALSO YOU CRIED LAST WEEK WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE NOT INTJ!!!!! I KNOW YOU!!!!!!!!! AND DON’T PRETEND YOU’RE AN INTROVERT I SAW YOU TALK TO LIKE FIVE PEOPLE TODAY?!??!?!?!?  UGH I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS I THOUGHT BETTER OF YOU SUZIE. LET ME TEACH YOU ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY OKAY?????

idk if i reblogged this but-

inferior functions and how they affect you

credit: @infplskillme (insta) @fuckim_intp

mbti types right before a test

Frantically reviewing their notes and studying: ENTJ, ISTJ, INFJ, ESTJ

Low-key playing on their phone not giving a sh-: INTJ, ENTP, ISTP

Reading a book to relax: INFP, ISFP

Sleeping, having no idea there’s a test: ENFP, ESFP, INTP

Trying to help others not freak out and have a breakdown: ENFJ, ESFJ, ISFJ

Didn’t show up to school anyway: ESTP

i totally see it^

brutally honest descriptions of the mbti types based off my experiences with them via a very sleep deprived infp

enfp:

-commitment issues? haha i’ve never heard of those :))))

-will literally punch a toddler in the throat if they say they support trump

-so i took the mbti test 7 times and i got infp twice and entp once?? i don’t really know, because i kind of fit into the infj sterotypes more, but if you really think about it i’m kind of an enfj? but i also really relate to isfps, but then again i think i’m too opinionated and logical to be a feeler, so entp isn’t out of the question, but i also feel like the entj cognitive functions really fit m

-genuinely love animals and it’s so pure

-hi sorry for not replying, i was in prison :3 also i moved to norway lol

-actually just the 2007 taco xd random aesthetic irl

-“i just came up with another book plot” texts approximately every 2.3 hours

isfp:

-hi i’m melissa i’m a 23 year old art school dropout and i abuse prescription pills but it’s okay because i have 200 followers on my grunge aesthetic instagram account. rent me an apartment?

-(talking about veganism to someone at a party) i just don’t understand how anyone could put all of that stuff in their body :/ *bends down to snort a line of cocaine*

-actually really artistically talented but much like the infp they refuse to give themselves any credit for it

-my dream man is someone who goes to coachella with me, helps me align my charkas, takes sad candid pictures of me, is willing to backpack around europe with me and my philosophy class during the summer,

-*googles* why do i share a type with literally every indie musician that has ever breathed lol

-probably fucked your girl in the back of a vape shop

infj:

-if you manage to find one never let them go they are some of the best people you’ll ever meet

-huge harry potter nerds

-can manage to get you to spill out your entire life story to them with a concerned glance

-please actually care for yourself for once and a while literally you do everything for everyone else just take some time for yourself god dammit you deserve it

-CATS™

-could be literally the most talented person in the world but would never come close to admitting it

-hi i’m actually just jesus christ irl! nice to meet you :-)

intj:

-they know everything

-like seriously everything it’s kind of scary like calm down karl

- allows themselves to recognize exactly one (1) human emotion per year

-can read for hours on end without getting bored and genuinely loves learning

-are generally dicks tbh especially to the people they love the most

-wikipedia articles™

-they actually aren’t actually the emotionless robots tumblr seems to display them as, they are actually extremely emotional in my experience and tend to get offended/upset easily and over small things

-sci-fi, cats, and machines > humans

-superiority complex™

-cute when they aren’t busy throwing tantrums/crushing the souls of their enemies

esfj:

-hi i’m martha, i’m 32 years young, i like long walks by the beach, yoga, and judging my neighbors for not mowing their lawn :-)  

-tend to be extra™ parents and their kids can either turn out complete emotional wreck assholes because they’ve never been disciplined or the happiest child you’ll ever meet, there is no in between

-they may be complete snakes and have never came up with an original idea in their entire life but boy can they make a killer chicken parmesan

-kind of comforting in a mother-like sense when they aren’t busy being judgmental dicks

-will clean your entire house for you on a whim

infp:

-wow i love being an infj :)) top 1% haha :))

-will literally develop a crush on someone because they say they know what tumblr is

-find purpose in writing/creating in general

-ending toxic relationships?? haha what’s that??? :))

-constantly switches between their “you can’t control me it isn’t a phase mom go away >:(( my chemical pilots at the disco saved me xd i will literally punch a baby fuck the system i’m 2cool4school” persona and their “i’m such a smol bean :3 save all the animals <333 i love pretty girls and dogs :))” persona

-“can i txt you back in like 15 mins i’m having an emotional breakdown lol”

-actually genuinely empathetic and creatively gifted but gives themself credit for none of it

-intelligent but fails classes because their teacher said something that went against their morals

-playing the victim? never heard of it! :))

-secretly just meme hoarders

-attention whores tbh i won’t even deny it

-o v e r d r a m a t i c

entp:

-hi it’s 6 fucking am and everyone just wants to go back to sleep or die or both but i’m gonna start an argument with the professor over the origin of tangerines for no apparent reason

-*googles* how to permanently get rid of my fe in 5 simple steps

-follow my meme page xd

-so what if i love my dog more than i do myself and my entire family?

-this conversation is boring me i’m gonna go chug a bottle of vodka and binge bill nye the science guy™ peace out

-have low self-esteems but compensate through obscure dark web conspiracy theories at 3 in the morning

-shirley i didn’t call you back because you’re a fake ass bitch not because i didn’t like your lasagna at the block party

estp:

-why do i keep physically abusing my crush lol

-and why do i keep yelling i can’t even stop at this point someone please send help

-they love food more than they do themselves

-fuckboys™

-hi welcome to my prank youtube channel :3

-the type of people to show up to school with 37 puppies and a knife

-i’m not gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks

entj:

-sorry i didn’t show up to school because you’re fucking stupid

-awe infp is so cute <3 i’ll destroy them last

-*on the floor, drunk, talking to their dog* you’re the only motherfucker in this town who can handle me

-what do you mean other people’s opinions/beliefs besides my own are valid lol??

-lowkey have daddy kinks

-what do you mean it’s physically impossible for me to control every aspect of my life??

-i mean if you really think about it voldemort was the victim,

-the type of person who could tell their crush they like them without flinching. terrifying

istp:

-wears d.a.r.e shirts ironically

-1990’s grunge aesthetic

-would walk into a burning building for the meme

-playing the hero?? haha never heard of it :))

-ew what the fuck man get those feelings away from me lol

-fuck da police

-following the rules?? that seems excessive lmao no thanks

istj:

-i once had one (1) original idea back in the summer of ’67. it was terrifying. i’ll never do it again.

-your scary math teacher that wears black socks everyday expects friday. then they jazz it up a bit with stripes. will mark your grade up if you say you like the same sports team as they do.

-understanding concepts outside of your own experiences? lmao no thanks?

-will make quizlet sets organize your desk for you

-my dream in life is to narrate a crime documentary and complete my george washington memorabilia collection.

-remembers all of their colleagues birthdays. doesn’t say happy birthday.

enfj:

-fucking get over your ex already he wasn’t that attractive calm down allison

-*googles* why do i relate to regina george from mean girls so much?

-the type of person who tells your boyfriend you have a crush on him

-o v e r d r a m a t i c

-gets your shit together for you. judges you

intp:

-dead inside

-if you can manage to find one that actually tolerates you they are some of the most loyal and true people you’ll ever meet

-horrible social skills, compensates through meme hoarding

-sends you links to conspiracy theory videos when you’re sad

-extremely intelligent but they get lost in their own house

-whoops i just remember i haven’t showered in 3 weeks lol

-i would laugh at that joke but i’m 3 hours deep into an existential crisis and i’m 100% convinced you are actually a robot created by bill clinton so not today jeff

esfp:

-yes homo

-cries over cat videos in public

-facetimes you in a grasshopper fursuit at 3 in the morning

-probably an alcoholic

-has 87 different crushes at once

-you haven’t talked to them in 7 years but they’ll show up at your birthday party and give you dog

-also attention whores

-generally has the personality of someone who just did 10 lines of cocaine

isfj:

-one sec let me just gather up all of the fake empathy i can muster for this particular situation

-that one kid in class who always has perfect notes

-shudders at the thought of… a… creative… thought….

-falls in love with an estp approximately every 23 seconds

-hi i’m karen, i’m 34, i love my family, cupcake baking, helping people of course until it interferes with my own personal comfort haha, christmas decorations, room layouts,

-probably has a studyblr

estj:

-your angry boss

-probably cyberbullies children on the internet 

-has an emotional breakdown when they don’t win classroom jeopardy 

-*googles* who is bernie sanders and why do i want him dead

-organizes your shit for you, regrets it later

-dead inside

I think at this point it’s pretty clear what my opinion is on tests for MBTI

INTP: Who are you?

ISTP: I’m you but stronger

ISTP: Who are you? ESTP: I’m you but funnier

ISTJ: Who are you? ESTJ: I’m you but you’re fired

ESFP: who are you? ISFP: I’m you but alive

ENFJ: Who are you? INFJ: I’m you but I’m also many people at once. I wear masks to hide my real twisted and dark self, I’m everybody and nobody at the same time. I’m the shadow of the person I have once been. The demons have taken over, I don’t know who I am.