I started a new remote job last week, and I'm the only genderqueer person at the company (and the first person who uses neo pronouns that anyone on my team has ever met, apparently).

So far:

I am so stoked that people are actually trying. 💜🤍💚

It's important to remember this kind of stuff, especially with the world the way it is now. When i started my current job and i told HR about my name and pronouns, she called me to ask which locker room i wanted to be in and told me where all the neutral bathrooms are (which is all of them except the locker rooms).

I've had to come out to my team a couple times because of new hires and whatnot but every time it has gone well. People aren't perfect but they try and they correct themselves. I usually just get nods of understanding and a couple of times people have asked me questions to understand better.

When one of my employees misgendered me despite me directly correcting her and I documented it, the site director texted me at MIDNIGHT to apologize and assure me that he and HR would handle it. The operations manager sent me a similar email the next morning.

We aren't alone. People care. People understand us and are on our side.

i was starting a new job, and before i went in for my first training in the afternoon, i talked to my mom on the phone. she was very excited because a nonbinary person who used they/them had just starting coming to her kungfu classes. "i got their pronouns like a pro because of you, so i got to surprise them with this 60 year old lady being super smooth with their pronouns."

later at my onboarding, a younger coworker surprised me by asking for my pronouns (i hadn't yet considered whether i wanted to be out at work) and i automatically replied they/them. my new boss, standing next to me, went "oh excellent! my youngest is nonbinary, i got this."

not only is people making the effort for you special and beautiful, you're also making life easier for those who come after, in a beautiful pay-it-forward loop-de-loop of pronoun teaching

i was starting a new job, at a company i had worked at before, but this time with a new name. this company had a good reputation with chosen vs given/birth names, so i wasn’t worried about that, but i wasn’t really sure how the people i knew from before, or the new people who might see how i had two different names depending on where you looked in company info, would react

the trainer for my class knew my husband and texted him to make sure she not only had the right name for my temporary namecard, but also that she knew which pronouns to use for me, and when someone else in the class (innocently) misgendered me before introductions were done, made the correction for me and began introductions right then, asking everyone to include their pronouns, to make sure it wasn’t singling me out

now, as a substitute teacher, i use Mx. and many of my students and colleagues default to they/them without even being told or asked. some do ask, though, to make sure, to use the right ones.

the people who don’t care, who are actively hostile, are loud. but humans want to be united, we want to like one another, we are social creatures. there is more respect between us than what makes it onto the news.

Dey's genda neutral, see??

[Image description courtesy of @neurodivergent-angus : a screenshot of a Tweet from "Catboy Slim" (@KenDrawCanDraw) that says, "Imagining an old timey gangster saying "dey/dem pronouns" and feeling peace". End ID.]

A very accurate and timely twitter thread. 👌

Remember everyone’s experience of being trans is unique to them—these are great guidelines for people you don’t know, but if you know someone who is trans, talk to them about their preferences and needs.

[Twitter user @unsolvedtwt is also on tumblr: @kindaunsolved ]

***TERFS AND TRUSCUM DO NOT INTERACT***

a little disorganized thing on neopronouns in other languages, apologies for not covering a lot of languages! here’s a post about neopronouns in other languages :)

NOTE: IF YOURE GONNA SAY U SUPPORT NEOPRONOUNS IN THIS CONTEXT BUT NOT IN ENGLISH? DIE BY MY BLADE.

ALSO PRONOUNS DO NOT EQUAL GENDER HESBIANS AND SHE/HER GAYS ILY

transcript under the cut

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I gotta add that there are languages, like Serbian, where you can’t even say “I ate breakfast” without gendering YOURSELF, because pronouns aren’t the only words that are gendered. And while, technically, we have a grammatical middle gender, for most part it feels dehumanizing to use it. If we just had to come up with a neopronouns, it would be easy. But we need to come up with a whole new declination for verbs, nouns, pronouns, numbers, adjectives…

So please, just because it’s easy in English? It doesn’t mean other people aren’t in an uphill battle.

I hate the idea of “female/male pronouns.” Like, I use he/him pronouns, but am decidedly not male. So, in my use of them, they’re not male pronouns. Saying “female/male pronouns” just further enforces the gender binary. Pronouns are neither male nor female. They’re just pronouns.

For post 3000, I thought it would be nice to finally finish the bigender comic I’ve been working on since… before I started this blog. So here it is!

I’ll add a caption later but I’m a bit out of spoons

💛💜🖤Enbys who go by they/they pronouns are great! 💛💜🖤Enbys who use neopronouns are amazing! 💛💜🖤Enbys who use she/her and he/him pronouns are valid!

Good Omens out here with bezlebub being played by a woman but going by male pronouns and pollution being played by a woman but going by male and they/them pronouns and some of the female angels having male names and Crowley being a female nanny for years. Good Omens really said fuck having a gender and i am here for it

I loved that post of Neil Gaiman when someone asked what Belzebubs pronouns are and he answered maybe Zzzzir.

Let’s not forget the statements that by definition Crowley and Aziraphale don’t really have a human gender.

Also Dagon, played by a female actress is ‘Lord’ of the Files but has a male voice when talking to Crowley over the radio…

I love the variety how they play with gender and gender roles in the series.

Reblog if you are 100% okay with a transgender person correcting you if you accidentally misgender them or use their dead name.