8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. - darkwarf
Thanks for the ask and again, sorry for the long wait 😅💕
(it just took me very long to choose some piece of dialogue and to translate)
This is from my current (and longest) wip - an "Arsenic and Old Lace" fanfiction about Jonathan Brewster's and Herman Einstein's time before the events in Brooklyn (in the movie/play) - the part underneath takes place while they're still in London.
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Herman sank back in his chair, relaxed, and turned the glass of eggnog back and forth between his fingers.
‚Jonathan had arrived an hour ago, with the ship’s card in one hand and a bottle of eggnog in the other. ‚From my wonderful aunts‘ ‚he had said, grimacing briefly. ‚It‘s still left from Christmas and I figured if we drank it to celebrate your good decision-‚ here he‘d winked at Herman. ‚It had use at least …‘, his eyes had wandered hesitatedly between Herman and the bottle. ‚Thank you, Mr. Brewster.‘, Herman had answered in surprise and blushed. ‚Jonathan,‘ Jonathan had answered. ‚If you don’t mind.‘ Herman had raised his head, eyes wide on Jonathan. A shy smile had crept onto his lips. ‚Only if you call me Herman.‘, he‘d answered quietly. A faint blush had crept onto Jonathan‘s cheeks, his mouth had split into a wide grin. ‚With the greatest pleasure…Herman.‘, he‘d entered. Herman had closed the door, still a slight flush on his cheeks…It had sounded nice to hear his name out of Jonathan’s mouth.‘, Herman looked up, smiling.
Jonathan sat across from him. He too was holding a glass of eggnog, and talked about Johannesburg and the diamond business there. Herman took a sip from his glass. Warmth spread from his throat to his chest. Jonathan lowered his glass and starred at the floor thoughtfully. Herman cocked his head.
„Are you all right?“, he asked quietly.
Jonathan nodded without raising his head. Herman chewed on his lower lip.
„Jonathan-“, he began.
Jonathan raised his head abruptly, his dark eyes boring into Hermans. Herman feverishly wondered what he could say, his eyes fell on the glass that laid relaxed in Jonathan’s hand.
„Your aunts made this eggnog?“, he asked.
Jonathan snorted and took a sip from his glass.
„Yes,“ he replied then. „They are the soul of the area…do good all the time, help everyone…”, his voice stopped. He looked gloomily into his glass.
„You don’t like them?“, Herman asked carefully.
Jonathan took a deep breath and looked up.
„No, not particularly. But that could also be due to my…brother…“, he murmured.
Herman raised his eyebrows with interest.
„You have a brother?“
„Two,“ replied Jonathan. „Teddy and…Mortimer…“, he shook his head brusquely. „I don’t particularly like my brother, Doctor… Mortimer, not Teddy… Although that‘s probably mutual.“, he gave a short, bitter laugh.
Herman looked at him sympathetically.
„We can talk about something else…“, he suggested.
Jonathan shrugged.
„Do you have siblings?“, he asked after a short silence and looked at Herman.
The latter shook his head.
„No. I was an only child, my mother died…relatively early after my birth.“, he pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around them.
„So your father raised you alone?“, Jonathan looked at him, a gentle look in his eyes.
Herman shook his head.
„No. My grandma helped him. “, he smiled slightly and placed his chin on his knees. „She was very kind. My father always said she pampered me too much, but she only replied that she had no one else to spoil.”, Herman looked to the floor, lost in thought.
Jonathan got up and filled up his glass. He looked questioningly at Herman.
„Do you want some more eggnog too... Herman?“
Herman nodded with a smile and handed him his glass. When it was half full, he stopped Jonathan.
„For me it was my aunts.“, Jonathan finally said.
Herman raised his head.
„Who raised me and my brothers after our parents died,“, added Jonathan, explanatory. „Together with our grandfather.“, he narrowed his eyes slightly.
„Wasn’t he nice?“ Herman asked carefully.
„I don‘t know anymore. He sat in his laboratory, almost all day and researched acids and poisons.“, Jonathan answered lost in thought and sat down again.
Herman‘s eyes widened.
„Poisons?“, he repeated.
Jonathan shrugged.
„His hobby …“, he took a sip from his glass. „The rest of the time, he‘d walk around the neighborhood and presented himself as a great philanthropist...“, he snorted.
They sat in silence. Jonathan finally cleared his throat.
„Have you always wanted to be a doctor?“
Herman smiled absently.
„Yes…since I was little, a child, I mean.“, he replied. His smile fell. „Especially after what happened to mother. Grandma used to say that the doctors messed up her treatment and I always thought to myself: ‚When I‘m in their position, I’ll do better!‘. My father worked day and night to finance my schooling and studies…Even if he didn’t believe that I’d actually make it to the University of Heidelberg.“, pride flashed in his eyes.
A gentle smile played around the corners of Jonathan’s mouth.
„..Heidelberg is in Germany, isn’t it?“
Herman nodded and drank some of his eggnog.
„And there you decided to go into plastic surgery?“, Jonathan cocked his head aside with interest.
Herman smiled into the milky liquid in his glass.
„Ja...“, he looked up. “A professor gave a lecture on the progress in this field. It was fascinating.”, his eyes lit up. „The changes one could see on the photographs he brought with him…“
Jonathan returned his gaze, subconsciously running his long fingers over his cheekbones. Herman followed the movement with his eyes, a slight smile played around his lips, thinking of the successful operations. The silence in the room was broken when Herman yawned. He put a hand over his mouth and smiled apologetically at Jonathan. The latter looked at his watch.
„I should go home,“ he mumbled, already getting up.
Herman opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by another yawn. Jonathan laughed softly and took his glass from him. He put his and Herman’s glasses in the sink and came back to Herman, who had got up from his chair.
„Thanks, Jonathan,“ he murmured sheepishly, rubbing his eyes.
Jonathan waved it off.
„Do you want the rest of the eggnog?“, with a questioning look he lifted the bottle.
Herman shrugged.
„Sure, if you don’t want it.“
Jonathan shook his head and handed him the bottle. Herman accompanied him to the door.
„Good night, Doctor.“
„Good night, Jonathan.“
With a nod, Jonathan disappeared into the dark. Herman closed the apartment door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is probably a tad longer than a snippet 😅😅 (I didn't know where to stop)
The reason why I choose this one is not so much about Grammer or writing style or anything and more about the fact that this is the scene (in my fanfic) where they start calling each other by their first name (it's not the one where they get closer for the first time - as in start of their friendship/relationship but that scene is a) a bit dark and b) didn't want to spoil anything) and where the reader (and they) learn more about the past of the other 🤷🏻♂️, also I love writing them doing domestic/casual things❤️❤️
Thanks again for the ask💕
From this ask game.
