how many angels can fuck on the head of a pin

Over the years a huge number of theological man-hours have been spent debating the famous question:

How Many Angels Can Fuck on the Head of a Pin?

In order to arrive at an answer, the following facts must be taken into consideration:

Firstly, angels simply don’t fuck. It’s one of the distinguishing characteristics that marks an angel. They may approve of one possible result of the human proclivity for procreation, namely: more humans, but they don’t feel the urge to get in on the action. So, none.

At least, nearly none. Aziraphale had learned to fuck in a discreet gentlemen’s club in Portland Place, in the late 1880s, and while he had initially taken to it like a duck to merchant banking, after a while he had become quite good at it, and was quite put out when, some decades later, the club closed down for good.

So providing the fucking was within a gentleman’s club, and providing that he had a suitable partner (also able, for the sake of argument, both to fuck, and to do it on the head of a pin), the answer is a straightforward one.

Then again, you might just as well ask how many demons can fuck on the head of a pin. They’re of the same original stock, after all. And at least they fuck. [Although it’s not what you and I would call fucking. Not good fucking anyway. A demon fucks like a white band on “Soul Train.”]

(with apologies to Sers Gaiman and Pratchett)

“A demon fucks like a white band on ‘Soul Train.’”

You can’t say that without warning my asthmatic ass, because I’m fucking wheezing

Also, Crowley wants you to turn on your location @tinsnip. He just wants to talk.

He’d better catch up with Pterry and Gneil first, as they started it… this is an almost direct paraphrase of the section about dancing from the book! 

No doubt he’s already highfived Terry at some point, and Neil probably got at least a fist bump, but you had the gaul to say it like this 😂

Crowley would be David Bowie’s Soul Train performance but somehow weirder and more neurotic, wouldn’t he.

very unfortunate that a significant chunk of good omens fandom seems to think aziraphale doesn’t fuck just because he’s an angel. he LOVES his worldly pleasures, why would he stop at gourmet sushi

crowley on the other hand cannot finish without someone (aziraphale) looking him in the eyes and telling him what a good job he’s doing

you know, this is one case where i actually don’t care at all if a creator gets wind of my raunchy posts, because if i had to read that american gods scene in which a woman consumes a man through her vagina then i refuse to feel any kind of shame for declaring that crowley has a praise kink

!!!

staff: no more nsfw tags

Y'all: Oh no how will we tag our nsfw work!?

Intellectuals:

I don't know how I feel about the fact that I understand that...