Pardon, but your tie is not symmetrical.

treated myself to a few minutes of personal work, and this is how I squandered it

i was feeling silly at the gas station today so i said to the cashier that i’ll take my gas “to go” and i could see her imagining what it would be like to jump over the counter and strangle me to death

[Image description screenshot of a tag reading “when the bookstore guys ask if i want a bag for my book and i tell them no thanks i’ll eat it here”]

[ID 1-2: two gifs of David Suchet, sitting on a sofa in a talk show. Someone from the audience says: "One of the wonderful things about your Poirot is the way he walks." David Suchet laughs and says "yes". The fan continues: "I wonder how long that took to work out." David Suchet answers, still laughing: "A very long time. Do you all know the story? Oh, gosh, you're gonna be horrified when I tell you. It's absolutely true. We did some takes with me as a Poirot. Films tests before we actually started shooting. And I watched myself as Poirot and I sort of was ok about it,"

ID 3: a gif of David Suchet as "Agatha Christie's Poirot", wearing a light jacket, vest and hat, and dark trousers, walking through a roofed street. David Suchet continues talking "but I thought 'I'm moving like David Suchet, I'm not moving... How did Poirot move, move, move?' Suddenly, I remembered there was a quote in one of the books. And I actually found it."

ID 4-5: David Suchet as Poirot, walking through a garden, between hedges, and in the second gif crossing a street.

ID 6: another gif of Poirot walking over grass. David Suchet continues: "The quote went something like this: 'Poirot crossed the lawn in his usual rapid, mincing gait, with his feet tightly and painfully enclosed within his patent leather boots.'"

ID 7: a gif of Poirot leaving a dark corridor, stepping into a lit one. David Suchet continues: "I spent a month on Bryher filming. I was on Bryher in the Isles of Scilly, trying to get this mincing walk. In the end I did a trick - and this is gonna horrify you but it's absolutely true - and it's in my book ["Poirot and me"], so I can say it. "

ID 8-12: five gifs, again showing David Suchet, now standing next to the sofa as he continues: "When Lord Oliver was playing Lord Foppington he held between the cheeks of his buttocks a penny. So when he walked and turned corners, he couldn't just turn like this, because the penny would drop out, right? (he walks normally) So he had to go like this. (he walks with his hips swaying, the audience laughs) So when I did the same, I couldn't walk like this because the penny would drop out. (he giggles and the audience laughs) So in the end, I had to learn to squeeze my [buttocks] very tight cause if you do that - you could do this going home, anybody could do this, you may get locked up, but you could do this... So in the end, I could walk... (does his signature mincing Poirot walk) like that. That was it. (applause). /end ID].

I love how in the early seasons of Poirot Miss Lemon and Captain Hastings share a single brain cell, only Miss Lemon has it at all times and Captain Hastings doesn’t know it exists

poirot would have such beef with columbo because he's unfashionable. poirot voice mon dieu... he haz ze formidable grey cells but physically... he iz swagless

Sound designing a vampire being hit in the face with a shovel is... challenging. Who would've guessed.

#loony toons bonk and wilhelm scream

@scp-1296 you understand me

[Audio transcript: Ben Galpin voicing Jonathan Harker from Dracula by Bram Stoker. He says, "There was no lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high, struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face," followed by a cartoon "bonk" and the Wilhelm scream. End transcript]

obsessed with stories where the message is that you can’t bring someone back from the dead even if you can bring someone back from the dead

Don’t you dare leave this in the tags!

[ID: a screenshot of a tag: (i nod sagely) jurassic park. /end ID].

have i mentioned how much i love this show

Best ideas!  Avdol really was the smartest Crusader :)

The assassins discover their weak point

I abandoned this joke like 3 times last year, but 2020 is gonna be the year of just going for it

I think Carne likes you!!

Risotto Nero loves cats, he’s just a big clown about it

My favourite subgenre of Squadra comics is Risotto not being very good at every day tasks and nobody really having the heart to tell him.

These cat shenanigans are from a conversation a couple weeks ago with my good friend @pomlivv who is a very sweet person and an amazing artist and I can’t recommend her work enough <3

@is-the-snake-video-cute

Oh, wow, that’s cute.

No worries here at all! Kenyan sand boas are big diggers - this snake is trying to burrow in the glove and isn’t sure why it’s not working out so hot. They’ll figure it out eventually.