Hear me out

What if elf ears worked like puppy ears where when they're young they're kinda floppy and bend over and then they get fully pointy when they're grown up a bit more

Poor awkward middleschooler age elves walking around like this

HI I HEARD THERE WERE ELF EAR HEADCANONS??

[image ID: the first image is a picture of a german shepherd puppy sitting, looking up at the camera neutrally. its left ear is pointed up while its right flops down.

the second image is two sketches of an elf at different ages, each from the chest up. the first sketch is of them as a small child with shoulder length hair, looking off to the left with a happy and curious expression. the tips of their ears flop down. the second sketch depicts them as a teen with long hair that is pulled back into a low ponytail, which is over their shoulder. they look off to the right with an embarrassed expression, as one of their ears flops down while the other stands up straight. end ID.]

Thanks for the image description!!

draw some fat elves you cowards you tepid fools

okay

yes good 

Hope it’s not too late to join the elf pudge party

Did someone say fat elves…?

@bace-jeleren, have you seen these high quality elves yet?

I haven’t seen the third elf and let me say that this post just keeps getting better and better!

beep

hello yes i would like to add some chubby elves (whut about them dude elves tho)

inktober day 10

cool propt dude

God I fucking love this post and it gets better and better with every fat elf

This is the best thing

everyone in fantasy novels is horny on main for elves and it’s honestly a travesty like why the hell would you want to marry an elf you’ll just spend the rest of your days growing old in the woods with a bunch of immortal bastards whose heads are so far up their asses they think singing week-long ballads is prime entertainment and say shit like “thou” and “beseech” unironically y'all should be hooking up with dwarves who 1. actually know how to throw the fuck down and let loose at a party 2. will literally shower you in diamond dust and gold they mined and crafted with their bare hands and 3. can sling you over their shoulder like a sack of potatoes with their huge muscular arms developed from hours of said mining and crafting. there’s literally no contest.

Legolas ghostwrote this

I’d marry a dwarf just for the joy of living in a mine. I’d always pictured a dwarf mine looking like the Wieliczka Salt Mine:

I’ve been there, and the pictures do not do it justice.

Wait a minute if elves take a hundred years to grow up that has some weird implications.

So… if we say a human comes of age in fantasy worlds at 16, that means it takes an elf 6.25 years to age one human year. If we say the age of maturity is 18 that’s 5.55 years.

So then… okay with people that live a long time have to see their human friends die and probably see them like pets yeah that’s been explored to death. But what about a human just seeing their friend not grow up?

An elf toddler and a human toddler become friends at a playdate. At the time the human is two and the elf is 13. Emotionally the elf is just a little older than the human. But then the human grows up. He grows up and as he grows up his friend doesn’t. Not much, anyways.

She’s still sucking her thumb and throwing tantrums the entire time that he grows up. When he reaches the age where he’d choose a trade or go to an academy he’s earning extra money by babysitting her. During his initiation into adulthood on his 18th birthday she’s there with her parents holding a stuffed animal. Later that afternoon he sees her being shown some colorful flashcards with letters of the elvish alphabet on it by her father.

The human gets older. He learns how to fight, he goes from town to town getting work. At some point he joins the army. Every time he visits his hometown he has at least one more scar and by the time he’s 30 and the elf girl is mentally seven by human standards she starts to understand that something is wrong. Even after he settles down to be a home maker for the local blacksmith something feels wrong.

And she watches him grow old. When she’s in her 80s she babysits his grandchildren for extra cash after school, coming over in her school robes and ruffling his hair. She doesn’t remember why she became friends with this human or when but a strange sense of jealousy fills her heart.

Now she realizes it. She realizes it too late, on the day her friend learns that he is dying. The first day of her 100th year and the start of his last. Humans’ lifetimes may only last for the childhood of an elf if they’re lucky, but they learn so fast. They do so much. They cram their days full of love and hate and learning and wonder.

He knew this was coming. He knew all of this decades before she did, because elves are slow. Not stupid, certainly not stupid, but very very slow. She holds her old friend’s hand as he lays down on his bed. A man that has led such an ordinary life but feels so extraordinary to her. Because he has always, always been there and now he just won’t. Because in her eyes he became so wise so fast and now he’s just gonna be gone.

On an elf’s 100th birthday they are allowed to choose a new name for themselves. It can be important, or not. Usually it will follow them until the end of time. She stands in front of her family’s elders and is asked what name she will be called from now on.

She names herself after him.