This whole obsession with wheelchair users struggling on foot down the aisle at their wedding or across the stage for graduation is 100% powered by ableism.

“The heartwarming story of how one woman worked for 8 months straight so she could escape the horror that is being in wheelchair for a few short minutes to struggle slowly and painfully down the aisle on her special day.”

“the horror that is being in a wheelchair” bitch it’s hella better than struggling slowly & painfully down the aisle ffs

“Despite being permanently paralyzed, her one goal since her accident has been to walk across the stage for graduation. The whole crowd gave her a standing ovation and broke into tears when she dragged her paralyzed legs across the stage with the help of leg braces and a walker to collect her diploma, after which she immediately sat back down in her wheelchair, which she will use to move around for the rest of her life.”

How the hell is this an inspirational story? This person needs better goals. And a therapist.

They’re toxic in an even greater way because as a disabled person, I didn’t realise till I was reading this how much I had internalised that. I genuinely have had feelings of fear and shame about using a chair or a walker if I get married. And why? Because I’m constantly seeing “heartwarming” stories about disabled people who shed their mobility aids for that moment. Why the hell am I afraid of using them to get married? Anyone who marries me or attends the wedding will know I need them and love me regardless.

Bless this post for making me realise I’d internalised that shit.

These types of stories teach people, both abled and disabled, that using mobility aids, especially wheelchairs, is inferior.

here are some beautiful brides in chairs with dresses they ROCK. I know a lot of disabled ppl with internalized ableism think they “won’t look good” if they use their chair, but here’s some literally gorgeous gals for ur consideration

(that last ones cute as fuck and i teared up at it)

Who needs a bouquet when you can be a bouquet?

I made my addition to this post in June 2019. Its now January 2020 and I no longer feel guilty about the idea of going down the aisle one day with mobility aids.

God bless the disabled community, y'all saved me from some internalised bullshit

This post floated by a few months ago, and I remember something to effect of there’s a difference between recovery and refusal. That is, like, I have a friend that suffered an incomplete spinal cord injury. He can walk again now, and I don’t think I’ve seen him use his chair in a few years. When he walked at his graduation, it was to show off his recovery. That he wasn’t quite ready to go through a full day upright, but he could walk across a stage, unassisted, and soon he would be able to do that every day. There’s also a difference in someone like me choosing to not use a mobility aid. My mobility is intensely fluid, especially seasonally. So, I would plan a summer wedding. And while I love my cane it can also be the biggest pain in my ass, so I’d want to just go unassisted. But that’s normal for me, at least right now. I can walk without an aid during about half of the year. It’s reasonable to assume I can make it through one day without it. All of that is different than someone that is fully and permanently paralyzed, that will never walk again, dragging themselves along because they feel that’s somehow better. Overall though, my biggest takeaway is fuck the media. Because disabled people should be able to make whatever decision they want without the media turning it into this grand inspirational story.

Disabled people should be able to make whatever decision they want without the media turning it into this grand inspirational story.

THIS.

Couldn’t pass up the opportunity to add my disabled joy to this post. Look at this love!

Taking the opportunity to add these photos of Jessica Kellgren-Fozard and her wife Claudia, from this twitter post. Jessica also has a youtube channel that’s primarily about disability and chronic illness and LGBT stuff (it’s amazing!) 

I would also like to personally share, Annika Victoria who ALSO has a youtube channel. This photo was taken from her instagram - she made her wedding dress dress herself, BY HAND. Her youtube channel is mostly DIY fashion and sewing tutorials. I love her so much, she’s so unapologetically herself and informative

I also wanna add these pictures of Ade Adepitan fucking rocking this badass suit at his wedding! Give my fellow disabled mascs some love too

look how much fun they’re both having! yes!

and also this couple, who are both wheelchair users

this is from their beautifully coordinated wedding!

Ace Week Day 6!!!

Today we are centering the experiences of disabled and neurodivergent aces! Here are some ideas to get you started:

[ID: a tweet by @/wonder_cripple that says “You know, it’s funny. The old adage “money can’t buy happiness” isn’t really true for disabled people. Money would literally solve all our problems: personal care, medical care, mobility aids. Survival. We would never have to worry about anything if we had money” end ID]

Just for once I’d like to tell the gate agents and flight attendants that my folding wheelchair is going into the onboard closet and not have them tell me there’s “no room”. Bitch that’s a wheelchair closet, not a “your bags” closet. Move your damn bags where they belong.

Ok, so according to my friendly aviation expert, this is a Big Fucking Deal. In fact, if an airline argues with you about putting your wheelchair in the wheelchair closet or even suggests there may not be room, unless there is already another passenger’s wheelchair in that closet, they have violated federal law.

CFR Title 14, Chapter II, Subchapter D, Part 382, Subpart E, Section 382.67, Subsection (e)

“As a carrier, you must never request or suggest that a passenger not stow his or her wheelchair in the cabin to accommodate other passengers (e.g., informing a passenger that stowing his or her wheelchair in the cabin will require other passengers to be removed from the flight), or for any other non-safety related reason (e.g., that it is easier for the carrier if the wheelchair is stowed in the cargo compartment).”

Source

This is hugely important because it means that if this happens to you, you should report their asses to the DOT. Why? Because these statistics are published every year for every airline, and the airline gets a huge ass fine for every violation. If we want to see change, we need to make airlines literally pay every time they treat us this way.

@annieelainey you should share this with your followers! This is important info!!

To my mutuals on wheels, print out the law before you fly and whip it out at the gate if they don’t accomodate your wheels.

Thanks a lot for posting this, bro! Flying while crippled is already difficult enough without people pulling this kind of shit. Also, make sure that if there is a piece of your wheelchair or something important missing off of it, that you make a big fucking deal out of it! I’ve had pieces fall off of my wheelchair and nearly lost a decoration I had on it that meant a lot to me because people were careless with my chair. Don’t let them mistreat your wheelchair.

Non-wheelchair folks:

Now that you know, speak up.

You never know when you’re going to see someone who needs an ally.

Finished getting my Nanny Ashtoreth together for Queen City Anime Con and had a lovely time

Please help out a fellow LGBTQ+ folk

Hi all,

It’s Ann Elizabeth Resno. I hate doing things like this, but I’ve fallen on some hard times. I am homeless and I have spent a great amount of time debating whether to post this.

Since early December, I have been hopping from shelter to shelter. It has been hard not having a stable place to live. I’m currently waiting for a safe bed to open up so I can go there.

My bills are piling up, they cut my disability check down to $500 and I use that for food, medical supplies I need, and the little I have left goes to bills. It’s not nearly enough to keep my phone service going. Furthermore, I am unable to make the minimum payment on my credit card.

So, I need your help. If there is any way you could donate even just $1 each, I can get myself into a stable situation again. My email for my paypal is [email protected] or paypal.me/annresno

If you cannot donate, reblogs are great