Comfort

       Shabtai (left) and Uri (right) are two angels assigned the task of accompanying one home from synagogue, permanently cemented in their roles of ‘good’ and ‘evil’. Uri never imagined being the negatively-framed counterpart, let alone to an angel he admired for centuries. Shabtai had been unpartnered for a millennium and struggles with his conflict of joy for the role he yearned to have for so long while witnessing his opposing partner in ceaseless distress.         After every amen passes his partner’s lips, Uri is visibly overcome with grief for his role in Shabtai’s submission. What Uri takes as looks of disappointment are in reality sadness for the guilt Shabtai knows Uri will experience. Shabtai grows to hope his partner must always submit to him not only for the sake of those they follow, but to shield the gentle angel from his pain. Shabtai comes to see Uri as not just his counterpart, but as his close friend.        In time he finds himself softly assuring Uri despite his struggle with words. In time he finds himself thinking of Uri’s pearly tears slowly trailing down his delicate neck. It becomes commonplace for him to hold the weeping angel close regardless of outcome, from relief or to comfort.         With much thought Shabtai finds his words to comfort Uri- struggling to tell him he is not ‘evil’, he is his balance. He is the other half of the scale, equally necessary to define one another’s purpose. The only issue is that with clarifying his thoughts to Uri.. He makes the realization he’s fallen horribly in love and his counterpart is completely oblivious. Now Shabtai needs to figure out how he can confess in a way Uri will understand.

I had to build some cat furniture and it made me think of a heavenly cat tree.

You’re a novice demon who managed to convice a mother to give up her first born in exchange for eternal youth. You did so, because it seems like the kind of thing all the other demons are doing, but now you are not sure what you are supposed to do with an infant and it’s way too late to ask.

“You could always eat it.”

Envy looked up in confusion.

“Sorry, what?”

Gluttony gestured to the infant nestled in Envy’s arms.

“I’ve had human before,” they said. “It’s not bad. Like pork. I bet a little one would be soft. Like veal.”

Gluttony ran their tongue over a set of rotten teeth. Gray and emaciated, they always had a pinched, hungry look about them.

“I could take it off your hands, if you want.”

Envy shrank back, cradling the infant a bit tighter.

“No,” they hissed. “This is mine, Gluttony.”

Gluttony chuckled.

“Suit yourself,” they said. “You were the one who asked what to do with it.”

Envy stalked off with the child, unsure where to go next. If this was the advice Gluttony had to give, imagine what Wrath would have to say. Or Lust. Envy shuddered.

But something even worse happened to Envy, instead.

They ran into Pride.

Weiterlesen

experimenting with collage and color editing in procreate

kofi

[ID: a digital drawing of an angel with several sets of arms, one coming from behind their head. They're wearing a white robe, and have two sets of white wings. Instead of a face they have a colorful swirl. Behind them is a dark yellow circle with several lines coming out of it, like a sun. /end ID].

obsessed with the idea of angels seeing the first human death. 

ITS JUST SO FUNNY LIKE EJJFJWKIFIIF

angels see a human die for the first time and be like “thats wild lmao wyd after this?”

the angels watching Cain kill Abel:

The angels when they saw Abel in heaven:

This is so funny because it implies God never told angels anything about how humans work.

I had to build some cat furniture and it made me think of a heavenly cat tree.

Remember those angel pin concepts I posted? Well I went ahead and got them made! I don’t have them in hand yet. But I got some photos from the factory! I opened up preorders a week or so ago and I’m surprised at how fast they went.

They will be visiting earth again soon! Keep watch for any updates. 

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Criminally Underused Good Omens Things With Huge Fic Potential

- Rover the hellhound

- Aziraphale performing temptations, as per the Arrangement (clumsy at first, perhaps?)

- Crowley performing blessings, as per the Arrangement (which he takes to like a duck to water, of course)

- the fact that Crowley can walk on walls & the ceiling

- Agnes Nutter calling people out on their bullshit, centuries in advance

- Aziraphale performing typical biblical miracles (e.g. water into wine, walking on water, etc)

- Greasy Johnson, a.k.a. “Baby B”

- the fact that ouija boards can, in the right circumstances, genuinely work in the GO universe

- the Bentley’s quasi-sentience

- onlookers trying to figure out what the fuck is going on in that bookshop

- Aziraphale being a knight of the round table

- the fact that there has already been one Heavenly War, so both Crowley and Aziraphale must have fought in battle at least once already

- what on earth Crowley’s plants actually think is happening in the world

- Crowley and Aziraphale are winged and can presumably fly... flying dates anyone?

- what did Crowley actually ask God to make him fall?

- why didn’t Aziraphale fall?

- Aziraphale had the flaming sword, and was put on guard duty, so he presumably does know how to use it

- does Crowley have a driving licence? (Money is definitely on no)

- “celestial harmonies”

He scream

Excellent wing reference here. There’s a lot going on here that’s hard to identify in a fully-feathered adult wing.

Note the tendon running from the shoulder to the wrist. That’s the reason a bird’s elbow is not nearly as visible as a lot of artists tend to draw it.

Also note that the flight feathers stop at the elbow! This is the most wtf thing I ever learned. The feathers coming off the upper arm are just filler. The elbow is normally held close to the body to hide the gap.

These two things will make your wings 1000% better. And they apply to non-bird winged dinosaurs as well!

reblogging for (1) great reference (2) great scream

Obviously I want you to take care of your pets and make sure they get food and fresh water on a regular basis, but cats being huge drama queens and screaming hysterically at you and acting like they’re tragic famine victims who haven’t eaten in weeks and are about to drop dead from starvation right mcfuckin now, because you’re 10 minutes late feeding them is always going to be one of the funniest things to me

the cat who lives at the vet clinic i volunteer at was mad yesterday because his dinner was half an hour late due to a busy day. he proceeded to go to all the (empty dw) garbage cans and tried to knock them over and started desperately scavenging for scraps of food because obviously no one loves him or cares about him and if he must eat garbage to survive then so be it

not food related, but one time my cat cried at me for 20 minutes before i worked out that the reason why she was upset was because there was a coat hanger on her favourite cushion

This is absolutely beautiful and changed my life, thank you so much. Please protect her from hangers at all costs

wow. am STORVING and humaines here making joke laugh at cate honger ?!

My cat is a social eater who is not food motivated at all, so I was baffled when I first got him because he didn’t seem to care about food but he would SCREAM at me for hours when I knew his bowl was full. Any time I went to double check that he did indeed have food, he’d book it to the bowl and snarf like his life depended on it, but as soon as I walked away he’d follow me screaming again.

Eventually I figured out that he just wanted a dining companion and was screaming about how we’re a family and families eat together, god damnit! I moved his food bowl under my computer desk and it fixed the problem. But if I’m ever out for more than 12 hours I’ll come home to find him in a passive-aggressive kitty huff because dinner has been ready for hours but he’s been trying to be considerate (unlike some humans) and waiting for me to eat it. 

My cats are indoor cats. Being indoor cats, they can’t go outside to hunt for food (mice, rats, birds, etc) to gift to my sister and I.

But they know that the kitchen has food. They know where the easily accessible cat food is. And obviously my sister and I are just Really Big Stupid Hairless cats.

So if my sister and I go without leaving our rooms for too long? My cats will sit outside our doors and scream for our attention, lead us to their food bowls, and then only stop the screaming and leading once they see us sit down at the table and eat something. Because they think we’re hungry.

Your cats are the sweetest beings on the Earth, it makes my heart warm knowing that they exist. They love you very much and they care so much, they want you healthy and happy and will make sure you don’t neglect yourself and oh god they are so perfect. Real pure love exists, I am happy to be alive today.

My neighbor is a hardcore drunk. Like, 9am and dude is drinking vodka, but he had a cat that’s pretty much his honest to god caregiver because I have seen this cat visibly screaming at this man to keep him from hurting himself and sometimes when he hasn’t been outside for a while, the cat will scream at my door until I go outside to knock on the door to check on him. Cats are literal angels.

I have a cat named a Kitty Pryde who has an extra thumb and these giant paws and while she’s not super bright she did learn that she likes being pet. So I must like being petted right? So if I’m watching TV alone she’ll come up and just with her giant paw gently stroke my arm or hand until I pet her back and she waits and pets me again and it goes on a while. Cats are angels.

My cat once stuffed my bath mat into the litter box

Mine wakes me up if I sleep in too long cuz she wants me to take my pills. Fiance said she was yelling at him all day yesterday. She stopped whwn I got home…and asked him if he tooks his meds. He hadn’t.

My girlie screams at me if she thinks I’m up past bedtime. Apparently this transfers to my new roommates too: Maeve led @katculator to her room, yelled until she was under the covers, then came back to the kitchen to do the same to me.

BABIES

I’ve always interpreted that as not necessarily saying that all angels and demons have identical wings, but that they’re all feathered (as opposed to bat-like), and that any differences in color are incidental and do not necessarily denote heavenly or hellish allegiance. If Aziraphale and Crowley happen to have the stereotypical white/black, well, that’s just a coincidence.

So here’re some headcanons on what the other angels and demons’ wings might look like.

Michael: bluejay; Gabriel: loggerhead shrike; Sandalphon: lyrebird; Uriel: golden eagle

Dagon: blue heron; Beelzebub: Egyptian vulture; Ligur: scarlet macaw; Hastur: ring-billed gull

Aziraphale: swan; Crowley: crow

how many angels can fuck on the head of a pin

Over the years a huge number of theological man-hours have been spent debating the famous question:

How Many Angels Can Fuck on the Head of a Pin?

In order to arrive at an answer, the following facts must be taken into consideration:

Firstly, angels simply don’t fuck. It’s one of the distinguishing characteristics that marks an angel. They may approve of one possible result of the human proclivity for procreation, namely: more humans, but they don’t feel the urge to get in on the action. So, none.

At least, nearly none. Aziraphale had learned to fuck in a discreet gentlemen’s club in Portland Place, in the late 1880s, and while he had initially taken to it like a duck to merchant banking, after a while he had become quite good at it, and was quite put out when, some decades later, the club closed down for good.

So providing the fucking was within a gentleman’s club, and providing that he had a suitable partner (also able, for the sake of argument, both to fuck, and to do it on the head of a pin), the answer is a straightforward one.

Then again, you might just as well ask how many demons can fuck on the head of a pin. They’re of the same original stock, after all. And at least they fuck. [Although it’s not what you and I would call fucking. Not good fucking anyway. A demon fucks like a white band on “Soul Train.”]

(with apologies to Sers Gaiman and Pratchett)

“A demon fucks like a white band on ‘Soul Train.’”

You can’t say that without warning my asthmatic ass, because I’m fucking wheezing

Also, Crowley wants you to turn on your location @tinsnip. He just wants to talk.

He’d better catch up with Pterry and Gneil first, as they started it… this is an almost direct paraphrase of the section about dancing from the book! 

No doubt he’s already highfived Terry at some point, and Neil probably got at least a fist bump, but you had the gaul to say it like this 😂

Crowley would be David Bowie’s Soul Train performance but somehow weirder and more neurotic, wouldn’t he.

I wonder what kind of upkeep and body language the angels and demons in Good Omens have with regards to their wings, that we just can’t see. They must have wings all the time, regardless of whether we’re on the right plane of existence to see them. But they probably can. They can probably see each others’ wings. So what do their wings say?? How do they hold them?? What do they do with them?

Do their wings droop open when they’re too warm? Do they do flappy stretches like chickens do? Do angels like to sunbathe like my peafowl do, with a wing or a leggy out?

Do they preen their own wings? They don’t have very long necks that we’ve seen. Do they have a uropygial gland (basically a little gland with a… a nipple, I guess, that secretes oil they can use to make their feathers shiny and good)? Where is it? Is there social preening for hard to reach places or for affection, the way parrots do?

Do they ever mantle their wings like hawks? When Aziraphale is eating something he really enjoys, does he sweep his wings around and make himself a little wing fort of “don’t touch my food”?

When they’re getting ready to fight, we see both Aziraphale and Crowley raising their wings up like geese and swans.

Do they ever dust bathe or water bathe to help get the sheaths off new feathers? Is there some celestial equivalent of Anting, where eagles or a couple hundred other kinds of birds go and roll around in an ant’s nest so the ants will kill off their ectoparasites?

Mother birds of all sorts often protectively cover their babies with their wings to keep them safe and dry…

what other language and care are we missing by not being able to see their wings, I must know

pretty sure birds were somewhat modeled on angels, so if a birb does it then somewhere, somewhen an angel did it

but uh…preening wings and then eating the bugs, that’s a little bit gross and i don’t even wanna think about what kind of crawlies angels could get stuck in their wings

Let’s be real here, this one doesn’t seem to mind having a crawley in his wing

But I can totally see the demons do the bug thing... 🤔🤔

heaven really is just the top of an office building 

and hell is the shitty basement 

The idea that they are literally in the same physical building and not millions of hypothetical miles away from each other on different planes of existence is so fucking funny to me

Falling involved being thrown down the lift shaft. Crowley just waited for the lift or took the damn stairs down.

“An Angel who did not Fall so much as Saunter Vaguely Downwards…”

*cut to Crowley drunk-stumbling down the stairs mumbling “where’s the bloody bathroom?” as a fire door shuts behind him with an Ominous Thud*

“All I did was ask questions.”

😂😂😂

Friendly reminder that all these characters are canon non-binary.

👏 Regardless 👏 of 👏 their 👏 gender 👏 presentation. 👏

You forgot one:

Sandalphon 👼🏻

(picture is not mine but it fits with the theme of the post😁😇)