Anyways if you're a trans guy/trans masculine person just know it's perfectly fine if you don't hate having a vagina. You're allowed to like the parts you have, you don't have to get a phalloplasty or any other surgery that you don't feel is absolutely necessary for your health and well being!

You're not any less trans for not hating your body and you're still a man regardless of if you have a penis or not ☺️

years ago i remember reading this “how to pass as an ftm” guide online where the guy writing it said smthn along the lines of like “if you’re pre t and youre fat you’ll never pass” and that has always stuck with me. i thought about it for years, i repeated it to myself in the mirror, it was what echoed in my head when i went through eating disorder recovery. the fatphobia that comes from cis expectations of what we need to look like and from within the trans community itself is unacceptable. not only was that like completely not true but things like that (which i Know we’ve all heard) stick with trans men forever. trans men are systemically controlled by fatphobia too. we have surgeons who hold arbitrary BMIs over our heads for surgeries, telling us they Cannot give us  treatment because they DONT KNOW HOW to operate on fat bodies. trans men have high rates of eating disorders, and we know why. its because of systemic fatphobia and transphobia (and lots of other systemic issues). its not okay and it needs to stop. fat trans men don’t need to lose weight to “be men” they don’t need to lose weight to transition they don’t need to lose weight for any external or arbitrary reason. fat trans men need support and love and to know that there is nothing wrong with being fat and trans. 

Also, just gonna say. You can and will pass.

I’m fat, and I don’t bind, and I still pass almost 100% of the time. I’m more than 2 years on t at this point, so the beard definitely helps. But it’s not a new phenomenon. Pre-t it happened a little less and depended a lot on not wearing tight clothing, but it still happened. It’s never impossible. So please don’t feel bad about it. There’s nothing wrong with who and how you are. Ever.

a few tips on sex with trans men & transmasculine individuals, from my own experience

(these tips could apply to you both as a cis or trans/nonbinary person. a lot of them could probably apply to sex with transfeminine ppl but i dont have the experience to speak on the subject so ill keep it to what i know.)

1. someone who hasnt had top surgery may not be comfortable with you seeing their chest during sex. you also shouldnt assume that they wont be comfortable with it. consider both possibilities before having sex. talk to your partner. are they comfortable having their chest exposed? are they comfortable with you touching their chest? is that in fact something they want you to do? you dont want to trigger dysphoria or discomfort in your partner - you also dont want to avoid touching them when they want you to because you made an assumption about their dysphoria (& possibly make them feel like youre uncomfortable with their body). some transmasculine people may be uncomfortable with seeing or touching their partners chest because it will trigger their own dysphoria. thats also something that may need be discussed.

some examples of possible scenarios: maybe you wont ever see or touch your partners chest. maybe theyll wear a binder, a sports bra or a shirt at all times. maybe you wont see their chest but youll touch it through clothing. maybe youll see their chest but you wont touch it. maybe youll see and touch their chest. etc.

2. the same ideas apply to your partners genitals: if they havent had bottom surgery, dont assume that your partner is looking for genital stimulation, vaginal penetration, or anything that they havent stated they want. 

some transmasculine people are comfortable with vaginal stimulation & sex. some transmasculine ppl prefer anal sex. many transmasculine people dont bottom at all. dont assume that a transmasculine partner will bottom.

3. if your partner hasnt had bottom surgery, ask them what you should refer to their genitals as. personally, i just asked my partners “what do you want me to call your junk?” & that was that.

dont assume that a partner is comfortable with you calling their vagina a “pussy” or another slang word, or even that they want it referred to as a vagina. dont assume they want their clitoris referred to as their clit. on the other hand - dont assume that theyre necessarily uncomfortable with that. some transmasculine people would feel weird calling their clitoris a dick. some transmasculine people dont have bottom dysphoria & are fine with you referring to their genitals with typical slang used for vaginas. some transmasculine people may prefer that you never acknowledge or refer to their genitals at all - especially if they dont want you to touch their genitals at all, they may just want to not be reminded of them at all. 

4. you should always aim to discuss boundaries, with any partners. this is especially important with trans partners because you may have assumptions, doubts, or expectations that you may have never questioned. 

you may assume that a trans partner will always top or always bottom (note: this is often linked to assuming that “everyone with a vagina bottoms” & “everyone with a penis tops”, which really is based in cisheterosexual norms of sex; these assumptions align trans ppl with standards of their assigned gender at birth & are pretty transphobic). you may have assumptions about your partners level of comfort with some sexual acts or with their or your anatomy. you should aim to talk about how you view the sex youre going to have so you can know what to actually expect & do. that kind of talk doesnt have to be coldly medical either. ask your partner questions: “do you want to fuck me?” “would you like it if i went down on you?” “do you like when i touch your chest?”, etc.

5. if your partner is on testosterone, dont expect their genitals to be the same as the genitals of a cis woman. testosterone causes clitoral growth, which means your partners clitoris is going to be larger. it can be more or less big depending on the person. for many people, it will get visibly harder and bigger when theyre aroused. on t, the clitoris may behave pretty much like a very small penis (think if just the head was poking out of the body). people on testosterone may produce less lubrication, which means if youre going to vaginally penetrate your partner you absolutely should count on having lube (note: you should always count on some lube regardless of your partners sex or hormones anyway bc it can always come in handy). in some cases, transmasculine people may have vaginal atrophy when on testosterone, which means the lack of lubrication will cause tearing to the tissues. this can make vaginal penetration very painful or impossible. if your partners wants vaginal penetration but it became painful after hormones, or if the vaginal atrophy causes them pain in daily life outside of sex, they may want to look into asking a doctor for a topical estrogen treatment. such treatments are applied only to the vagina & do not counterbalance the effects of testosterone, but they can stop vaginal atrophy.

if your partner is getting on testosterone, they may experience a rise in sexual libido, a few weeks/months into testosterone. they may find that theyre horny very often, sometimes even constantly. that can be a pretty fun time! however, if you have a long-term partner who is getting on testosterone, it can be a good idea to talk about this beforehand. would you like to be having a lot more sex, or would you rather they handle it privately?

if you started sleeping with someone after they got on testosterone, and they were very horny all the time as an effect of testosterone - if this wasnt the usual state of their libido before hormones, its likely that its not going to stay like that in the future. after time, their libido will probably decrease again and theyll find themselves to be in the mood less often, closer to their libido pre-testosterone. this doesnt mean that theyre less attracted to you or you did something wrong - its just an effect of hormones.

6. if you have a penis, you need to use a condom whenever you have penis-in-vagina sex, unless your partner has had a hysterectomy. testosterone may reduce fertility or even prevent a person from getting pregnant completely… but you dont know that for sure. many people on testosterone can still become pregnant, even if theyve been on testosterone for months or years, even if they never have periods anymore. (you should also always use protection, unless you & your partner are exclusive & you know what stds you may or may not have & how to prevent spreading them. this is just specifically abt the pregnancy risk.)

7. after all these tips… dont be scared. sex with a trans person is not fundamentally different from sex with a cis person. the goal is still to share an intimate moment with another person, where the both of you try to make one another feel good, & the key to that is still to communicate what both of you are looking for & what your boundaries are. you may be lacking a baseline understanding of parts of sex with a trans person bc you probably havent received education on anything but penis-in-vagina sex between a cis man & a cis woman, & even if you know about gay sex, its probably between two cis men or two cis women. but in the end, its all about just checking in with each other & doing what feels good.

- rezki

more on these subjects:

Sex and Communication

Vaginal bleeding after testosterone

hiya! I figured id make an informational post about the little things ive noticed about being on testosterone that I found weren’t talked about a lot when I was starting my transition and even before when I was doing my research. I think that trans sexual health is an extremely important part of trans peoples lives (and that doesnt necessarily mean sex) seeing as the physical changes that happen during transition are often foreign to us. Sexual health keeps us healthy and comfortable in our bodies, so do your best to stay attentive to your body’s changes! As always, consult your doctor if you feel the need to. These are only tips ive learned from transitioning myself and from my doctor when I asked about certain things.

PATREON

Fucking tumblr our here really trying to teach the world things

Hey this isn’t necessarily something for HRT. But rather for top surgery for those considering it, most every surgeon and endocrinologist I’ve met (save for the ones I’m working with currently) doesn’t mention this and trans dudes who have gone through top surgery sometimes don’t even know about it, but your ti🅱️🅱️ies? They make hormones. Lots of them. When you get top surgery you’re removing a primary maker of hormones from your body and it’ll throw you through a loop, and for anywhere from a few days to a couple months after the surgery your hormones are gonna be WACK. This will usually cause a post-surgery depression that a lot of trans men sometimes confuse with regret for taking this step in their transition and it’ll throw them into an identity crisis, so for those planning on taking that step, just remember that weird ass sadness you’re gonna feel is just your hormones being like “hey wHAT the FUCK” and you made the right decision for you!!

Can confirm that bottom growth is a real and painful thing. If you’re the kind of person who wears skinny jeans regularly (looking at u fashionable goth/punk trans ppl), here’s a tip for your first few months of T: don’t.

Bottom growth will be overly sensitive and stick out of the hood more than usual, and anytime the inside of ur jeans rubs against it it will a) hurt and b) make u horny.

This can be a problem in general, but especially if u have bottom dysphoria and being reminded of ur junk can make u dysphoric, and/or if ur ace like me and being horny can be a very confusing and annoying experience (I know this is not every aces experience but I had never really had a sex drive or arousal before T and it was very distressing at first. Still ace tho)

Also re: top surgery, the first time I saw my chest post-op my brain flipped and I got so dizzy I nearly passed out. This is also relatively normal and okay. I think my brain just kind of freaked out seeing my body so different from what we were used to and also oh yeah with a big scar running across it. Its okay, that doesn’t mean you regret it either. I think sometimes ur brain just needs a minute to catch up and realize ‘oh wait this isn’t a traumatic injury this is what my chest is supposed to look like’. Once I had seen my chest a few times and let my brain get used to it I was absolutely thrilled and loved it (and still do). I also had a panic attack the night before my surgery because I was afraid of the anesthesia. Again, doesnt mean I made the wrong decision.

I think a lot of trans ppl don’t know that surgery can just be an emotionally intense experience, and yeah can also mess with ur hormones a bit (another consequence of both hormonal stuff and the stress of surgery is I got really bad acne for awhile after surgery) and so you might feel all kinds of weird or stressed directly before or after. It’s okay. Make sure u have supportive ppl around u to take care of u, and wait until ur body has had a bit of time to heal and renormalize before u start panicing over if u made the right choice or not. You’ll probably be sleeping for most of the first week anyway. Give ur body and ur nerves a break for a bit.

@theuntemptedone @mimsidoodles @yoitsjaime @official-mossman @onlyoneformeisme

This is FTM at 50 years old (on testosterone 13 years)

This is so important, I almost never get to see trans guys older than 25, which makes it really hard for me to envision myself growing into an older man, which in turn makes me feel really confused about my identity. But really I just needed to see some more representation.

Representation is important. Trans is beautiful. Trans is diverse.

My eyes just welled up with tears. Its so true, that its hard to rarely have any examples of your possible future as an older person. ❤️

hiya! I figured id make an informational post about the little things ive noticed about being on testosterone that I found weren’t talked about a lot when I was starting my transition and even before when I was doing my research. I think that trans sexual health is an extremely important part of trans peoples lives (and that doesnt necessarily mean sex) seeing as the physical changes that happen during transition are often foreign to us. Sexual health keeps us healthy and comfortable in our bodies, so do your best to stay attentive to your body’s changes! As always, consult your doctor if you feel the need to. These are only tips ive learned from transitioning myself and from my doctor when I asked about certain things.

PATREON

Fucking tumblr our here really trying to teach the world things

Hey this isn’t necessarily something for HRT. But rather for top surgery for those considering it, most every surgeon and endocrinologist I’ve met (save for the ones I’m working with currently) doesn’t mention this and trans dudes who have gone through top surgery sometimes don’t even know about it, but your ti🅱️🅱️ies? They make hormones. Lots of them. When you get top surgery you’re removing a primary maker of hormones from your body and it’ll throw you through a loop, and for anywhere from a few days to a couple months after the surgery your hormones are gonna be WACK. This will usually cause a post-surgery depression that a lot of trans men sometimes confuse with regret for taking this step in their transition and it’ll throw them into an identity crisis, so for those planning on taking that step, just remember that weird ass sadness you’re gonna feel is just your hormones being like “hey wHAT the FUCK” and you made the right decision for you!!

Can confirm that bottom growth is a real and painful thing. If you’re the kind of person who wears skinny jeans regularly (looking at u fashionable goth/punk trans ppl), here’s a tip for your first few months of T: don’t.

Bottom growth will be overly sensitive and stick out of the hood more than usual, and anytime the inside of ur jeans rubs against it it will a) hurt and b) make u horny.

This can be a problem in general, but especially if u have bottom dysphoria and being reminded of ur junk can make u dysphoric, and/or if ur ace like me and being horny can be a very confusing and annoying experience (I know this is not every aces experience but I had never really had a sex drive or arousal before T and it was very distressing at first. Still ace tho)

Also re: top surgery, the first time I saw my chest post-op my brain flipped and I got so dizzy I nearly passed out. This is also relatively normal and okay. I think my brain just kind of freaked out seeing my body so different from what we were used to and also oh yeah with a big scar running across it. Its okay, that doesn’t mean you regret it either. I think sometimes ur brain just needs a minute to catch up and realize ‘oh wait this isn’t a traumatic injury this is what my chest is supposed to look like’. Once I had seen my chest a few times and let my brain get used to it I was absolutely thrilled and loved it (and still do). I also had a panic attack the night before my surgery because I was afraid of the anesthesia. Again, doesnt mean I made the wrong decision.

I think a lot of trans ppl don’t know that surgery can just be an emotionally intense experience, and yeah can also mess with ur hormones a bit (another consequence of both hormonal stuff and the stress of surgery is I got really bad acne for awhile after surgery) and so you might feel all kinds of weird or stressed directly before or after. It’s okay. Make sure u have supportive ppl around u to take care of u, and wait until ur body has had a bit of time to heal and renormalize before u start panicing over if u made the right choice or not. You’ll probably be sleeping for most of the first week anyway. Give ur body and ur nerves a break for a bit.

@theuntemptedone @mimsidoodles @yoitsjaime @official-mossman @onlyoneformeisme

Uni Project

Some self portraits as I was learning to love my trans body for what it is

Commissions open!

Do not steal. Do not repost. Reblogs fine

Bisexual Trans Boy Peter Parker is gold

Made by: jazzielpunkdixon

Loosen your binder for a few minutes and let yourself breathe a bit

Based on a true story

You’re married to your phone background/lockscreen how fucked are you

Depends if you mean my screensaver (a message by me to me) or my background:

Either way, I'm pleased😁

A transgender and bisexual moodboard for @liliemsharpe! I hope you like it!

Want one? Send me an ask!