this is how the movie went right

[ID: a digital drawing of Yzma, Kronk and Kuzco from the Disney movie "The Emperor's New Groove". Kuzco is studying the model of his summer house, while a very angry Yzma tells Kronk: "I want that twink obliterated." (in all caps, 'obliterated' is underlined). /end ID].

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids’ movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn’t get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned “hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality” summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk (“so he seems nice? He’s what, in his late twenties?”) and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha’s fake wife and dressing up in ladies’ clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress’ “bless you for coming out in public” remark when Pacha says they’re on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don’t see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

(yes she is planning to literally destroy the sun itself as revenge for the inevitability of human decay)

The Emperor’s New Groove 2000, dir. Mark Dindal

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

my favourite trope is “antagonist and protagonist narrowly avoiding each other in the same space” and The Emperor’s New Groove nails it perfectly I wish more media did stuff like this

The only way to make Gabriel a redeemable character is to characterize him as like. Kronk

… would this mean God is Yzma?

Stamped and approved–

wait

Beelzebub is Yzma

Aziraphale and Crowley are Pacha and Kuzco

“How did they get here before us, Gabriel?”

“You’ve got me. By all accounts, it doesn’t make sense.”

“Awwww, Beez, you didn’t tell me it was your birthday–”

And if you tell me you can’t see Crowley and Aziraphale going over the waterfall tied to a log, you are a liar, like, you don’t even have to change the dialogue.

BEEZMA

THELUCKOFTHECLAWS said: OK I JUST PICTURED HIM SAYING “I’m the archangel fucking Gabriel” IN THE KRONK VOICE AND I STARTED TEARING UP FROM LAUGHTER

HANDERN reblogged this from BROKEN-SEAL#BELZEBUTH FELL BC GABRIEL PULLED THE WRONG LEVER PASS IT ON

oh shit

i’m wheezing

“why do we even have that leverrrrrr”

The archangel fucking gabriel. The angel named Gabriel. The angel specifically chosen by the Lord named Gabriel. Archangel Gabriel. That Gabriel?

Disney peaked with the Emperor’s New Groove

Eartha Kitt’s performance as Yzma…the music…the comedy…the Kronk. It is a perfect film

Additional reasons:

Diverse body type: Llama

Also Kuzko’s character arc is nice to see, instead of ‘be yourself’ it’s like ‘hey, don’t be an asshole’ and he actually learns it

Also r*mance wasn’t at the center of the story, growth was, and that was really refreshing

Also the STYLE:

The only way to make Gabriel a redeemable character is to characterize him as like. Kronk

… would this mean God is Yzma?

Stamped and approved–

wait

Beelzebub is Yzma

Aziraphale and Crowley are Pacha and Kuzco

“How did they get here before us, Gabriel?”

“You’ve got me. By all accounts, it doesn’t make sense.”

“Awwww, Beez, you didn’t tell me it was your birthday–”

And if you tell me you can’t see Crowley and Aziraphale going over the waterfall tied to a log, you are a liar, like, you don’t even have to change the dialogue.

BEEZMA

the emperors new groove au where these two restore their partnership ◡‿◡

i don’t know how but yea

those are their reactions to my fanart i have like 2 drawings where tama isn’t tiny

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️