Tried a new Lagree studio that opened near me and one of the girls in the class recognized me from my other pilates studio I was a regular at. We both were sad our favorite instructor no longer taught her morning classes but that we hoped we might bump into each other again at Lagree
I was at the gym this morning and saw this stunning woman who was sooo jacked with the most amazing arms on the Stairmaster. I follow some bodybuilders/fitness influencers on social media and realized after seeing this one IFBB bikini pro athlete's story of her on the Stairmaster later this morning that this was the same woman. It made soooo much more sense why she had such an amazing physique
Chronicles of the orange baby continue
Found the friendliest orange baby out in the garden last night. He was a purring machine who immediately came up for pets and I fed him some canned tuna and set up a makeshift bed for the night
I had a moment of clarity on my commute today how much of my life is in my hands and I can't wait for things to get better. People in my life have been asking me how I've been doing and I've become more comfortable being honest and telling them, "I don't know." How are you supposed to feel after a traumatic break up? How are you supposed to feel when it seems like you encounter racial microaggressions at work? How are you supposed to feel seeing nearly three years of mementos packed in a box for you to take home.
Yet I feel loved by my friends and family. I feel loved by the outpour of support I've been shown by those I've chosen to open up to. I feel hope in forging new friendships and connections. I feel a sense of relief yet pain.
I've cried and screamed in my car. I've felt comforted yet isolated walking in a new neighborhood of LA. This week was the first time I've experienced sleeping completely alone in a house with no family, no friends, no roommates, and no significant other for the first time in years. The loneliness is part of the process I come to tell myself. But being alone doesn't equate to feeling lonely.
I don't know if I'm okay. Each day brings new feelings of grief, loss, pain, bittersweetness, gratitude, relief, and contentment that I'm trying to make sense of. I have so much hope for what's to come and what I'm building for myself. I accept that each day may be hard in its own way and I don't have to tolerate what doesn't fit my vision of a happy life. I accept that I won't always succeed in being strong but that I will always eventually pick myself back up.
Morning walk to see the eclipse
From today's 10 mile run
