FortySevens Writes Fic

Glimmerati, Claudia Keep

A 7 inch standee that’s double sided! :D My Deer God on the front and Fallen Deer on the back ^^

I would be the worst spy of all time because on one hand I overshare like hell, but on the other hand I also have THE shittiest memory so it’s really a lose/lose scenario for everyone involved.

guy interrogating me: What’s the passcode?

me: Ah fuck. I think it might be 792.....4?

me: Actually no I think it starts with a 2.

me:

me: Yeah I usually just rely on muscle memory for it. Do you think you could get a keypad in here? That might be faster.

guy interrogating me: who do you work for?!

me: Okay, so this is super embarrassing. I know he told me his name when we first met but I forgot and at this point it would be weird if I asked him for his name again, right? So I just kind of go with “sir” whenever I have to talk to him. It might be David though. He looks like a David.

me, after being extracted: bad news guys, I totally blew Dave’s cover.

my boss: Wait, what?

me: Yeah, like they had knives and shit and it was kind of stressful so I just told them that my contact’s name was David Johnson. Really sorry about that.

boss: We don’t have a David Johnson working for us. Are you thinking of James?

me: 

me: Good news, guys, I did not blow James’ cover!

Enemy 1: So, how did the interrogation go?

Enemy 2: We got nothing. All they did was ramble on about their childhood trauma for two hours.

Enemy 1: Hmm. maybe lower the dose of the truth serum next time.

Enemy 2: We didn’t use truth serum.

This is the magic lucky word count. Reblog for creativity juice. It might even work, who knows.

please i have writers block please

would he fucking say that? let's investigate.

update: i investigated a little too hard. this oneshot is now 6.3k words long

Saturn and Tethys

Image: NASA/JPL/Solaris

Anakin/Vader being perpetually confused in SW ~ an important thread

modern Scheherazade reciting summaries of Internet drama to the king

“And that,” said Scherezade, “Is why the saga of Thanfiction is second in fame only to the story of the Snapewives on the astral plane in early 2000’s internet fandom drama.”

Freshly interested, the king rubbed his eyes, fighting the pull of sleep. “The what on the astral plane?”

Scherezade’s eyebrows shot up. “Have you never heard of the Snapewives? Much has been said of their marriage, most of it cruel, but the real story is far more interesting and complex than most remember.”

“You must tell me,” he demanded, and Scherezade knew that she had once again caught him on her hook. All that remained was to reel him in.

“My king,” she said, arching her back in a dramatic yawn, “I cannot; the hour is late, and I am far too tired to do it justice. I am sure I would forget important details, with my mind so clouded with sleep!”

The king chewed his lip, still fighting a battle he had lost many nights before. “Very well,” he said. “We will sleep, and you will tell me about it tomorrow when you are rested.”

Scherezade smiled a secret smile and closed her eyes, safe for another night, already planning how best to bait the king into asking about the story of hivliving.

After his first wife wrote a callout post about him, the king became wrathful and misogynistic; each night he would take a new wife only to cancel her in the morning. When all the unproblematic maidens of eligible birth had been cancelled, the vizier’s own only unproblematic daughter, Scherezade, stepped forward and agreed to marry the king herself.

She's going to get a solid week of nested stories out of explaining the A/B/O court case.

cassandra clare takes a month

✨Bucky’s new arm feature✨

Frosted flakes, Tom Leighton

i still do not understand what possessed so many well-respected actors to do the spy kids movies like

did they pay really well? did you want these beautiful, terrible movies to be a blemish on your career forever?? why

 antonio banderas did so many high-profile movies then in spy kids he looked like this

tony shalhoub has won multiple emmys but he did spy kids and

even fucking george clooney wtf

steve buscemi is pretty goofy but still

salma hayek’s pigtails in this wow 

elijah wood was the lead in a movie that’s tied for the largest number of oscars of all time and he played a character creatively named “THE GUY”

sylvester stallone is like a cultural icon and he played not one but FOUR ridiculously dressed weirdos

alan cumming is the only one i can understand 

Are you saying spy kids wasn’t a masterpiece my fellow blogger???? Source?????

i will not tolerate this slander

“When I was doing ‘Spy Kids,’ the Weinsteins asked me […] ’Why are you making the characters Hispanic? It doesn’t make any sense, isn’t this supposed to be for everybody?’ ‘Well, it’s based on my family.’

[…]

People have come up to me for a lot of years since and said ‘You changed my kids’ whole life. They see little kids who are Hispanic that are spies and they saw your name as the writer and director and you changed their idea of what their future could be.’ The ripple effects of that one movie were enormous.”

- Robert Rodriguez (x)

Also maybe sometimes actors like to play roles that are silly and fun? I can’t imagine any of these actors didn’t know exactly what they were getting into and, based on their performance, didn’t have a good time

CRITICAL INFORMATION: The entire concept of Spy Kids came from Robert Rodriguez’s desire to make an action film he could watch with his kids. With intentions like that, it’s pretty easy to understand why so many famous actors with kids of their own would be interested in it.

Let us not forget the Machete cross over…

1) SPY KIDS changed my life. It was the first movie I watched where I thought “hey hang on those people look like my people”

2) I’m deeply in love with the understated shared universe of Robert Rodriguez movies ranging from SPY KIDS, MACHETE, and FROM DUSK TIL DAWN.

also well-respected actors enjoy playing different characters, and working with directors with whom they have had great experiences. so yes, George Clooney killed a bunch of vampires including Salma Hayek that one time, and in a parallel universe they are super spies. And Rodriguez recognised the immortal blistering hotness and epic range of Carla Gugino from Spin City and shared her with the world and we should totally thank him.

You don’t choose the ship… the ship crashes through your wall, body slams you into the ground and five finger death punches your heart.

just encountered a spider so big I very seriously considered downloading tinder exclusively to find a man to come over and move it outside

which brings me to my app idea: spidr. it connects you to local weirdos of all genders who are willing to drive to your house and move a spider for a fee.

"Welcome to the base, private, let me show you around: This is Major Key, she keeps us upbeat. And this is Corporal Punishment, don't get on his bad side. If you need anything, you can go to General Store directly. Understood?"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

"Great. One last one thing, what's your name?"

"Parts, sir."

"Well, Private Parts, I hope I got you covered. Dismissed."

Thank you General Description, Sir.

internet friends are kinda like illegally downloaded friends. you don’t get the physical copy but you still get all the great content

#i’d illegally download you all

reblog if you’d illegally download your followers

reblog if you have dowloaded at least one mututal