ARE YOUR WOES GONE YET!?

It’s rare for threads about religion to be wholesome

Sometimes I remember that "I'm so fucking normal right now" is a line from disco elysium. like that's such a sentence from a tumblr post to me but no. harry du bois said that. out loud. he would do numbers on here

harry dubois does do numbers on here. i see him on my dash like several times a day

Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.

I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me

sometimes you do just have to lie to children.

If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”

If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.

So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”

Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.

See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.

you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.

You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter

[ID: tags: "#that wasn't a lie though the big ball did go night night #it went to the great night night that awaits us all" /end ID]

Shipping a man in a canon het relationship with another man but I'm shaking my head the whole time so you know it's not out of misogynistic disregard for the woman character

i have a suggestion

lets hear out tumblr user isuggestpolyamory

i have a new trendy suffix to introduce. -shed: "the area from which this resource flows to a given point". as in watershed, but the hydrologists are not content to stop there. the best usage i've seen so far is "problemshed", which is roughly "the area causing problems for a given point". very useful concept tbh

official linguistics post

While the Onion buying InfoWars is indeed extremely funny, very few of the posts I've seen commenting on the sale have mentioned that the families of the Sandy Hook victims apparently agreed to voluntarily reduce their lawsuit payout as part of a deal to ensure that the Onion would acquire InfoWars wholesale, rather than having the company broken up and auctioned off piecemeal, as the latter course could potentially have allowed some of those pieces to end up back in the hands of Alex Jones' cronies.

Like, yes, it is in fact very funny that InfoWars is now a wholly owned subsidiary of Clickhole, but the real props go out to the Sandy Hook families who saw the opportunity and willingly gave up the additional millions of dollars that could have been realised by stripping InfoWars for parts in order to make that happen.

did this morherfucker just make apples out of apples??

Hey here is your friendly reminder to not tell your nice boss stuff.

I’m at the executive management level for my very small company and I have 4 people who report directly to me. I am a nice boss. I’m friendly with my employees, I treat them like professional adults, I actively try to create a positive work environment, and I mentor them and make sure they’re advancing in their careers. I do my best to shield them from the rest of management doing stupid shit. My employees like working for me.

The other day one of my employees came to ask if she could change her hours on Mondays. I said yes immediately because it’s helpful for me to know when she’s here and when she’s not, but as long as she gets her work done I don’t care when and where she does it. She then proceeded to tell me that it was so she could attend therapy and like … I will never use this information but … as a general rule don’t fucking do that.

Do not tell your employer shit about your mental or physical health except for the bare minimum needed to request a reasonable accommodation. Even your nice boss can fire you, even your nice boss can unfairly change your working conditions, and even your nice boss at some point is probably going to face pressure from their superiors.

I’m not saying don’t trust your boss with anything ever. I’m just saying that anytime you are in the workplace you need to keep your private information private. You can still have a good relationship with your boss. Your workplace can still be pleasant. But if it ever feels like disclosing private information is required in order to have a good relationship with your boss, please see that as a red flag.

This post got a like out of nowhere and I only vaguely remember writing it and I’m not entirely sure which of my employees inspired it, but it still holds.

"childlike sense of wonder" this and that. Personally, I'm cultivating my elderly sense of wonder. Hence my excitement over a perfectly ordinary bird in my backyard or an above-average-sized vegetable.

Putting the term "male gaze" on top of the fridge until everyone remembers that it refers to a cinematographic trend and not the act of looking at things while being a man

May I add something, because I will never shut up about this book (Writing Tools by Roy Peter Clark):

Finally, some good fucking advice

THIS. CHANGES. EVERYTHING.

[ID: Text highlighted in yellow reading, “To understand the difference between a good adverb and a bad adverb, consider these two sentences: ‘She smiled happily’ and ‘She smiled sadly.’ Which one works best? The first seems weak because ‘smiled’ contains the meaning of ‘happily.’ On the other hand, ‘sadly’ changes the meaning.

Remember the song ‘Killing Me Softly’? Good adverb. How about ‘Killing Me Fiercely’? Bad adverb.

Look also for weak verb-adverb combinations that you can revise with stronger verbs: ‘She went quickly down the stairs’ can become ‘She dashed down the stairs.’ ‘He listened surreptitiously’ can become ‘He eavesdropped.’ Give yourself a choice.” /End ID]

i'm fucking choking