fortheloveofsnorkacks reblogged
The immense darkness in Harry in the DoM battle and how he uses what he's perceived about Voldemort's dynamic with his followers is fascinating:
“You need more persuasion?” she said [...] “Very well — take the smallest one,” she ordered [...] “Let him watch while we torture the little girl. I’ll do it.” Harry felt the others close in around Ginny. He stepped sideways so that he was right in front of her, the prophecy held up to his chest. “You’ll have to smash this if you want to attack any of us,” he told Bellatrix. “I don’t think your boss will be too pleased if you come back without it, will he?” [...] “Yeah,” said Harry [...] “Yeah, I’ve got no problem saying Vol —” “Shut your mouth!” Bellatrix shrieked. “You dare speak his name with your unworthy lips, you dare besmirch it with your half-blood’s tongue, you dare —” “Did you know he’s a half-blood too?” said Harry recklessly. Hermione gave a little moan in his ear. “Voldemort? Yeah, his mother was a witch but his dad was a Muggle — or has he been telling you lot he’s pureblood?” (Beyond the Veil, OOTP)
#huh. semi unrelated but#never really thought about Harry through the lens of chronic pain until i read the way he acted here#the don't waste your breath bit#like huh. yeah. sucks. but what else is new? + there is a certain sort of recklessness around pain#where you're in pain enough and everything is glazed over and so what does it matter#and you're more honest because you lost the filter a few degrees of pain ago#and new or acute pain doesn't really break through much and so you're sort of just shoving yourself through#might as well go shove yourself to the grocery store#or write that thing because who cares if it's any good you don't you don't care about anything and why the heck not#cut something up. break something. who cares#obviously with harry there's a whole lot more going on here#and emotional dimensions that are more complex#but weirdly enough i recognize the feeling here of recklessly pushing through pain#knowing that it's going to fall back on you but you're past caring#and all there is is this moment