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Hi hello it's some art and some nonsense

@formaldehydedoesstuff / formaldehydedoesstuff.tumblr.com

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desultory-suggestions

One of the weirdest thing about growing up suicidal is that you assume you have no future, you don’t even try to envision it because you see no point. So eventually, you start assuming everyone else sees nothing in your future either. Recently, my friend and I were talking and she said something about how at her wedding I could wear a suit or a dress as long as it matched her bridesmaid’s dresses because the butler of honor has to make a good impression. This hit me so hard because I had never realized before how other people thought about me. She said it so casually like it wasn’t even a hard decision, just a given fact. She loves me so much she saw me at her wedding, standing with her on one of the most important days of her life. And you know what? There are so many people who think about you that way. If that isn’t proof that you should keep going I don’t know what is.

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self-loving-vampire

This is called a sense of foreshortened future and it is also very common in traumatized people, particularly in cases involving long-term abuse or the death of a loved one.

[ID: Two screenshots from articles. The first one reads “A sense of foreshortened future involves feeling as if life will be cut short without any real explanation as to why. People who experience this may also feel they won’t be able to reach milestones in their life, such as a career, marriage, or children. This sense of foreshortened future is a reaction that can occur following trauma. It is considered an avoidance symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) related to negative expectations about the future.” The second is a bullet point list that reads: A sense of foreshortened future is characterized by:

  • An inability to think about or plan for the future
  • Changes in how a person perceives the passage of time
  • Difficulty trusting that other people will be around in the future
  • Distrust of others and the world in general
  • Experiencing narrative foreclosure, or the feeling that life is over
  • Feeling that the world is unpredictable
  • Losing motivation to pursue projects or stick to commitments
  • Negative views about the future
  • The sense that death is imminent /End ID]
#this is so fascinating#words for things I've felt for a long time
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