I want to be seen the way I see the world

I want to be loved the way I love the world

I do not want my pain and horror overlooked

They are a part of me as they are a part of the world

They diminish neither and help to define both

Denying them blinds you to the totality

They exist even when overlooked

How can I be seen as I am

How can I be loved as I am

If parts of me must be overlooked to see my beauty

I can see the world as it is

I can love the world as it is

The world is beautiful even when these things exist within it

I want to be seen the way I see the world

I want to be loved the way I love the world

Because I am beautiful even when these things exist within me

They are not obstacles for someone to overcome

They are my reality and they help to define me

I will no longer hide them for the comfort of others

Because if they cannot see my pain and horror

Then they do not deserve to see my beauty

Even if that means I cannot be seen

Even if that means I cannot be loved

Non-Binary

Not She Nor He Just me

I feel it now Like a numbness Spreading across Every place You ever touched

Honestly, I don’t even remember how the original “Roses are red” poem goes anymore. Everyone always rewrites it to make puns or references instead.

My Depression Is

Long dark nights Under sodium lights Driving around town Trying not to drown Music blaring Dead eyes staring Asphalt under wheel Waiting for something real Fog rolling in Recounting every sin Hot and silent tears As I remember all the years Driving down these streets Alone among the seats Wishing for someone Sitting there, shotgun Sharing in my quiet Calming the riot Raging in my brain Until everything is right again But it’s just me and the radio Driving too fucking slow Trying to clear my head Before I struggle to bed

When I come to you I do not come alone I bring my demons Born of pain and rejection Clinging to me like sores Bleeding into all that I love They are a part of me Things I cannot excise

You tell me you love me They tell me you lie They twist everything you say I press my hands to my head Hoping to block them out But they whisper incessantly Like the ringing in my ears  I don’t know how to stop them

They are the inevitable poison The thing that will tear us apart I try to hold them back I do not wish to scare you off But I know it’s inevitable You’ll get tired of my fight You’ll walk away with every right And another demon will be born

Scary

I want to be... whole But I don't know how to Fix what is broken Put back what was taken There are holes I can't fill And it's all scary

I know you can't make me whole But when I'm with you I feel hope That maybe with a little support I can figure this shit out

I'm not asking you to fix it for me I just want you by my side Holding my hand, telling me it'll be okay When it all gets to be too much Because when you're around It's not all that scary

You are the one Who never left You are the one Who never was

The apparition Of my mind The only love I’ve never known

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I forget that when people see me They see adjectives like Big, tall, or strong

Because when I see me I see adjectives like Small, frail, or broken

I want to see myself The way others see me But I'm crushed by the weight Of my insecurity

Had to pull out my first edition copy of so long and thanks for all the fish so that I could finish a poem about Wonko the Sane that randomly came to me.