tony is peter’s dad

The only theft headcannon involving Miles anyone’s allowed to have is that one time he accidentally “stole” some crayons from Applebee’s and was just so distraught he turned himself in.

Miles, sobbing: “I’m so so sorryy, dad. YooU hh;;avee,, ,to aarrest m.”

Officer Davis: “No, Miles, it’s okay. The restaurant gave you those crayons. Also you’re 5.”