tbh I’ve always found it very funny that Elrond is like “there’s no point bringing Glorfindel on the quest, even though he’s a balrog-slayer. You won’t need balrog-slayers” and then thirty pages later they run into a balrog

#and they could’ve really benefited from having a glow in the dark elf in moria (via @emyn-arnens)

obsessed by the implication that glorfindel is bioluminescent

#most elves aren’t #just glorfindel #dwarves on the other hand ARE bioluminescent #but it’s in a spectrum that elves and men and orcs can’t see in #hobbits can see in that spectrum fine #for better mushroom hunting #but they think it’s rude to point out that one of their party members is glowing #and so the dwarves have no idea the hobbits notice (via @mandaloriandy)

The first night Bilbo camped with the company he very nearly said something about it, but, having no idea what dwarves are and thinking it might be rude, he kept the observation to himself and decided that dwarves must be some kind of fungus. It improved his estimation of them most incredibly, and was, in fact, one of the observations he was most keen to pass on when he got back, seeing as how—even if it didn’t quite make him respectable, per se—it at least provided a valuable new addition to hobbits’ mushroom-lore, which no one (not even a certain few silver-spoon possessing relatives) could fault him for.

#anyways it’s common knowledge in the shire that dwarves are actually just a kind of mushroom#but no one says anything#because they think (seeing as how the dwarves haven’t brought it up themselves) it would be rude (via @willowcrowned)

My partner, reading this over my shoulder: “It never ceases to amaze me when Tolkein fans write meta that goes off in really bizarre directions”

Me: “These books are 70 years old, everything normal to say about them has been said; if you’re gonna say anything new about it, it’s gonna have to be weird”

Inktober Gashlycrumb Tolkiens! Valiant Kili defends his cousin!

be brave like bilbo!!!!!

Day 4: Crown Thrór became the King of Ered Mithrin after his father King Dáin and his younger brother Frór were lost to the cold drakes Prompt list below:

FIRST ROUND: 52nd Tilt

Osferth, The Last Kingdom (2015-2022) VS. Fíli, The Hobbit Trilogy (2012-2014)

Propaganda

Osferth, The Last Kingdom (2015-2022) Portrayed by: Ewan Mitchell Defeated Opponents: - Robin Hood [Jonas Armstrong], BBC’s Robin Hood (2006-2009)

Fíli, The Hobbit Trilogy (2012-2014) Portrayed by: Dean O'Gorman Defeated Opponents: - Renly Baratheon [Gethin Anthony], Game of Thrones (2011-2019)

Additional Propaganda Under the Cut

The King Under the Mountain

glóin and baby gimli

you can get a print here: inprnt!

that theory that the Arkenstone is a Silmaril…it’s doubly implausible, but imagine if nobody knew. If the dwarves were guarded enough of their greatest treasure that…you wouldn’t even need to hide it from that many people, honestly. Mostly a few elves, and all wizards.

and then Bilbo sidles up to Gandalf like, “Thorin and all are holed up in the Mountain, but I think they’re being nuts, so I…kind of stole the Arkenstone, I think.” And (it’s been thousands of years since the light of the trees was doused save for the precious brilliance locked away in Feanor’s gems, since oaths and blood and war that raged until the skies cracked and the earth shattered, and the little people of the Shire have no memory of it at all) he pulls out a fucking Silmaril.

Gandalf: *spittake*

Gandalf: *hurriedly glances at Thranduil. the king of Mirkwood’s eyes shine with curiosity and greed, but not recognition, nor the terrible lust that overtook Feanor and his sons. right, right, he was never in Thingol’s court while the jewel that Luthien and Beren took was there. we’re good. we’re good for now*

Gandalf: That’s, uh, nice, Bilbo. Put it away, would you?

Gandalf, telepathically(?): EMERGENCY RINGBEARERS ONLY CONFAB NOW

Gandalf: [mental image of a goddam Silmaril in hobbit hands, labelled “thisfuckingrockagain.jpg”]

Galadriel, who watched 95% of her family slaughter everyone within 100 miles for several thousand years over these things, including each other and themselves: no.

Elrond, who was very nearly one of those people slaughtered, and did watch most of his town be killed before he and his twin were kidnapped for a while: Absolutely Fucking Not.

Gandalf: Apparently fucking yes. The legendary Arkenstone-

Galadriel: You’ve got to be kidding me.

Elrond: Thorin Oakenshield has a Silmaril right now?

Gandalf: No, no.

Gandalf: Bilbo stole it.

Elrond: *wordless sputtering*

Gandalf: @Galadriel [information packet: BilboBagginsoftheShire.pdf]

Galadriel: Oh yes, Belladonna’s boy, you were telling me about him last winter. 

Galadriel: Btw, orc+warg army probably coming your way. Spotted it in the mirror last night. Thank goodness we dealt with Dol Goldur at least, huh?

Elrond: No fucking shit.

Gandalf @Gwaihir Windlord: hey, sorry to bother you again, I know it’s nearly mating season. but we have a situation again

Gandalf: [thisfuckingrockagain.jpg]

Gandalf: [oncomingorcwargarmy.jpg]

Gandalf: [flashbacktobadasseaglesinwarofwrathhinthint.mov]

I mean, given that Tolkien retconned “The Hobbit” so Bilbo’s little invisibility ring became an ancient piece of jewelry that controls minds and drives the mighty mad, one can at least understand why it seems plausible that the other shiny white gem that destroys empires and makes the mighty go mad with greed could be linked from his kid’s book to his gigantic early mythology in retrospect??

You know this actually explains a lot about why Gandalf didn’t immediately raise the alarm about Bilbo’s ring out of an abundance of caution. I mean, what are the odds, what are the fucking odds, that this one little hobbit stole both a Silmaril and the Ring of Power? Like, you are Gandalf the Grey and you have already dealt with the heart attack to end all heart attacks because this little innocent fool stole a world war inspiring artifact once. You still get flashbacks every time Bilbo offers to show you something and have to employ all of your angel’s serenity and thousands of years of learned composure not start giBbERinG “ pleaseletitnotbeanotherartifactpleaseletitnotbeanotherartifact”. And then. AND THEN! One day he’s like, “hey Gandalf let me show you this neat ring I found back on our journey”. And on the inside a tiny part of you is screaming “nottheoneringnottheoneringnottheonering” while a more rational part of your brain assures you it could not possibly be the one- “It’s this plain gold ring that’s very precious to me and turns me invisible!”

AND THEN YOU FUCK OFF AND SEARCH THROUGH EVERY POSSIBLE TOME YOU CAN TO PROVE IT CAN’T REALLY BE THE RING OF POWER, SAURON’S RING OF POWER, THAT RING, THE ONE RING, LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE TOME, BEFORE FINALLY FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THIS SHIT IS REALLY HAPPENING AGAIN

@shewhodoesnotexist what says you? :P

I’ve never been a proponent of this theory, but I gotta admit the idea of Bilbo finding two world war inspiring artifacts is alluring ;D

Next you’ll be telling me Sting is Gurthang

Sting may or may not be Angrist, the knife that Beren used to get the Silmarill off of Morgoth’s crown

Do you ever think about how staggeringly in bad taste it is that Gandalf brought a firework that turns into Smaug to Bilbo’s birthday party

Like how were you hoping that would go

*gandalf voice* so bilbo lived to be 111 huh? it would be a shame if someone or something caused him to go into c a r d i a c a r r e s t

Gandalf: I’m still not a hundred percent sure that magic ring is artificially extending Bilbo’s life, so let’s run some tests.

i would note that bilbo was the only person at the party not even slightly alarmed, so possibly gandalf just knows him well

“You know what would be the greatest gift I could give Bilbo on his 111th birthday? Making Lobelia and Otho Sacksville-Baggins shit their pants at the party.” 

Where the bowels of the earth meets the sky, they dance.

The strangest Tolkien fandom history rewrite I've seen lately from people who make hating the show their entire personality is this shift in pretending that The Hobbit films were just as lauded as the original trilogy.

Thrór helping his son Thráin with Thorin's homework

Thráin son of Thrór

Source: https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Sauron

dude thats sick. thats rad

Tolkien once again dropping the sickest shit

#why does everyone sleep on tolkiens paintings and drawings#they slay so much

I don't know! Every time I see his work I go 'that's rad, I've never seen that before. Why have I never seen that berore???' Here's a (no doubt incomplete) gallery of his work on Tolkien Gateway

https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Category:Images_by_J.R.R._Tolkien

It contains a lot of great stuff, a lot of art I've never seen and I don't know why I've never seen it, and also some art I've seen but never knew was by Tolkien, such as this book cover

Look!!!!

Trolls!!!!!

The Three Trolls are turned to Stone!!!!

Look!

SMAUG!!!!

Wait, we have a drawing from the author of what Dunharrow looks like?!

And an aerial view of Helm's Deep?!

And another view!

We have images of Nargothrond?!?!

2nd

These are so helpful for even getting an inkling of an idea of what these places looked like!

My modern!Fíli is a law student

So if yall didn’t know, in The Hobbit book, Thranduil had the Dwarves locked up for approximately weeks, and Bilbo was just invisible and wandering in the palace the entire time, vibing miserably.

My headcanon, therefore, is that the Mirkwood Elves now have a local legend about a ghost haunting Thranduil’s palace, never seen but generally thought to be harmless. Thranduil scoffs at the idea, but has been seen glancing around at the dark corners of rooms. Legolas fully believes in it and is known to say hello out loud when he enters an empty room, in case the ghost is nearby.

It’s not until Legolas joins the Fellowship that he figures out that the supposed ghost was actually an invisible Bilbo the whole time. He never tells Thranduil, because he thinks it’s funny to see his regal father unnerved by the idea of a ghost.

Mirkwood ghost stories: Bilbo stole someone's lunch

Rivendell ghost stories: Maglor panicked and killed someone who startled him in the forest

Lorien ghost stories: Melian is still here actually

More Hobbit inspired digital art practice :D  now the Elvenking of the Mirkwood, in celtic style! After long time I used scanned textures… it looks kind of weird but it was fun to create :D

one of my few “completly digital” doodles! I still enjoy this concept, of beleriad elves in celtic fashion and valinor ones designed as ancient mediterranean cultures ♡