Everyone's so upset about what's going on on my normal and functional space ship.

Excellent you can join ranks with that one doctor who this story made late for surgery

#same#started reading suddenly it was 5 fucking am

Read about my normal and functional spaceship to absolutely destroy your sleep schedule

This happened to me with their (now finished) serial novel Curse Words, and then their (currently unfinished) story Charlie MacNamara, Galactic Ace when I caught up to Curse Words while it was still in progress.

Simply put, it’s just a thing that happens when it comes to reading Derin’s stories.

I've been reliably informed by many, many readers that these stories are specifically crack for ADHD people who usually have difficulty reading and I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. That's such a random demographic.

Look it happens

#cannot start reading it is already Late

Do you have to do surgery tomorrow? No? Then how bad could it be to start reading.

#me watching horror movies: noooo why would you open the door covered in warnings not to do that!#me reading thos blog post: I should start reading time to orbit

You should do it, nothing will go wrong. You are the master of your sleep schedule and will get plenty of rest. It'll be fine.

#I am one sentence in and my suspected adhd brain started to fucking. VIBRATE#what the FUCK#I am so happy and am going to get a normal amount of sleep tonight

Ahaha yes another one

Join the ADHD Reader Army

Congratulations, you did invent time travel after all! Unfortunately, instead of the Soviet moon conspiracy thing, all it’s good for is warping your readers several hours into the future.

... I'll take it.

#why is it always 3:30 when I spot this post

Because that's the ideal time to start reading the story

Congratulations for creating an infohazard for ADHD people specifically

#i'm at work and it's 9am#I should totally read this instead of work right?#what's the worst that could happen?

Yes you should

#stories#ha HA it's 2 in the afternoon and I have very little to do (aside from groceries)#you can't trap me this way I have time to read!

Go on then. You have time for 122 chapters.

#im so tempted to start reading it#but it's 9pm and im worried ill stay up the whole night

All nighters are good for you

#dammit i opened it like an IDIOT and now the sun is coming up#i'm on chapter 28 but i'm going to get FOOD and go to BED

Bed is overrated, grab a snack to munch while you read.

At Ebooks Direct: Our Pride Month Package

...with an exclusive new release!

Warning! These works contain: homosexuals, bisexuals, lesbians, pansexuals, asexuals, polyamorous folks, genderfluid humans and nonhumans, two (or maybe three) varieties of magic-users, science-users, wizards and Dragons. Even occasional cissexual people.

And they've all been there since 1979.

Welcome to one universe where who you love and how your genders intersect is between you, your lover(s), and the Goddess. And another where wizards come in so many species and sexualities that getting sniffy about something as wildly variable as local sex and gender is (eyeroll) soooo provincial... when you're just one more of a million kinds of humanity, and the serious question is "Never mind the tentacles... do you think can we date?"

The collection contains:

Additionally, it contains the new just-dropped Tales of the Middle Kingdoms novella, Overdue—available only in this collection (and, way earlier than usual for a new release, in the whole-store "I Want Everything You've Got" collection) until the end of Pride Month.

And finally, from the Young Wizards universe, the collection contains the matter-of-fact exit from the (contextual) closet of two of the best-loved characters in the series—Advisory wizards Tom Swale and Carl Romeo—on their first canonically-"out" (ad)venture as a couple:

Owl Be Home For Christmas

All the works above are available for individual purchase at Ebooks Direct at the (currently normal) 50%-off discount. This package, though, takes an additional 15% off that price. The Pride Month Package will be available at its reduced price, $18.99, until Pride Month's end (30 June 2023, 23:59 UTC).

Click here to get the 2023 Pride Package!

*Gaylaxic Spectrum Awards Hall of Fame winner

hey you

yes you

do you hate stephenie meyer? do you want to read her shitty books without giving her any more money?

boy have I got just the thing for you

bonus

enjoy 😊

And use the money you saved by not purchasing these to donate to the Quileute tribes move to higher ground!

https://mthg.org/

Legal summary of the Amazon  Class Action suit.

OMG, the Parasol Protectorate boxed set is up at 7 smackers for ALL 5 BOOKS (ebook USA). This is insane. I’ve never seen my publisher do this before! So take advantage while it lasts and please spread the word!

 https://books2read.com/u/3G9JJd

hello everyone!

I uh, did a thing! and by a thing I mean, I started a new translation of mdzs for language-learning purposes :D

do you like my writing? (I feel like half of you are here for that and half of you are here for my gifs haha) do you enjoy my copious notes and rambling? do you want to see my obsessive and clinical attention to detail in action?? do you want to go on a chinese-learning journey with me??? do you want to see behind the curtain to how absurdly complicated literary translation can be?

well HERE IS A TRANSLATION FOR YOU \o/

I’ve actually been working on this on and off since november (eek!) and now that we’re full on in lockdown, I’m stuck at home and hyperfocusing to channel my anxiety.

I’m going to be completely frank: the likelihood that this translation will ever be finished is extraordinarily low, but I hope that whatever I do manage to put out will be worth reading. (*´▽`*)

this link leads directly to the mdzs project page! I have a general translator’s statement and a note on how i came up with the english title. the chapters will be posted at the bottom of the page. there’s only one right now, but I hope I did a good job. anyways, I’d be happy if you also checked the other pages as well (though they are quite few in number). I worked really hard ;A; website management is like, not my strong suit, but I think I managed to make it look good!

shoutout to @blackelement7​ and @tonyglowheart​ for bearing the brunt of my crying and screaming as I tore my hair out over the text <3

I love you all! I hope you like it!

(ko-fi)

With a lot of people talking about book stuffing at the moment - for anyone who hasn’t heard about it, Twitter is largely where it’s at, under the #tiffanygate and #bookstuffing tags - I feel like this is an appropriate time to remind folks Cassandra Dee is a bookstuffer.

Lately she’s taken to adding enormous spaces between her paragraphs to increase page count too…

(from The Dirty Hotel King, her latest)

And however she’s getting page reads, I can’t imagine it’s from too many people ENJOYING her deathless prose.

Need a reminder?

You asked for it.

Seven Shades of Shit: the Masterpost.

I don’t mean to be a jerk to anyone about this, but I sincerely don’t understand how readers can tolerate this. If I happen to get an ebook that I open and the writing is terrible, or the formatting is wretched, or there’s some obvious promotional shenanigans involved, I’m completely turned off by that book. There are so many other books where the authors aren’t trying to pull one over on me and that include great stories that don’t need to be read through ugly formatting. 

Why do readers waste their precious time on crap like this? That’s my question.

For my followers who don‘t know, Kindle Unlimited now pays authors by the page read. Last time I worked it out we were paid $0.004 per page read (yes, four tenths of one cent) so a 100 page book/novella would earn us 40 cents. 

Padding is done by adding extra gaps between paragraphs, as above, or including additional material, usually other novels/novellas, and getting readers to click to the end, either by asking them to click a link to the end, or by putting the additional material at the front to be skipped past before readers get to the book they bought. This works because Kindle only records the furthest page read, not if all pages have been read. 

If you padded your 100 page book into a 400 page book, so you earn $1.60 per book rather than 40 cents, 4 times as much but for the exact same story. 

The kindle fund is a set price each month and it’s divided by the total number of page reads, so if it’s a million dollars and there’s a million page reads, each author would get a dollar per page read (yeah, I wish! It’s usually about $19m and working backwards, divided by about 4.75 billion page reads to give 0.4 cents per page).

What it boils down to is that these writers are defrauding other authors out of their fair share of that fund by pretending they have more pages than they really do. Sometimes padding adds up to 2000 pages or more to a book! (the max page limit is 3,000 pages). 

My books average 80K words and are about 300ish pages each. 

Casandra’s most recent page count is 1749 pages, equivalent to half a million words! 

The longest Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, has just 257,045 words!

Casandra Dee has also published 64 books since may 2016. 

My first book dates to March 2010 and I’ve only managed to write 25 books in 8 years, one of which is a short story (up to 10K words) and a second is a novella (50K).

If we discount the half million word count and assume she does like me, have 300 pages of genuine new story in each book. That would mean she’s written five trillion words written in 2 years! Or to put it another way seven thousand words every single day! I don’t think it’s physically possible to do that! When does she find time for rewrites and editing? When does she find time to eat? 

If I could write 7K words a day, I’d finish a new book every 11 days! 

She’s not only a book mill, she’s a fraudulent book mill.

There have been many attempts to game the system over the years, examples like

The worst thing is that when Amazon does have a crackdown on unfair practices, it’s only the small authors who get banned for life.

The big name authors, those who’s tricks they were emulating, they get off scot free. As such, they just find a way a new way to game the system because the rules clearly don’t apply to them.

If Amazon had some balls and actually banned the popular authors who employ these tricks, they wouldn’t have nearly so many headaches thanks to disgruntled writers demanding fair treatment. 

Amazon are really super, super good at stamping on minnows and ignoring the sharks. After I got outed last night as someone helping research stuffed books, I woke up this morning to find my @amazon Associates account had mysteriously been reported and shut down. WHAT A STRANGE COINCIDENCE.

I’m still waiting for the email they claim they’ve sent me to explain why. I’ll give it till tomorrow morning and then I’m emailing executive support and raising hell.

What burns me is that Chance Carter’s Mister Diamond, a massively stuffed book for which he was offering an illegal giveaway in exchange for reviews (check out #tiffanygate for info) is STILL FOR SALE.

Well, the lot of them can fuck right off. They were discussing suing me for slander… good luck with that.

1. I’m in Australia.

2. To prove slander, you have to prove I made a false statement.

Hey fam! Caitlyn is awesome and in light of her income and possibly her amazon reviews being under threat by these deplorable people who claim to be authors, I’d like to bring your attention to her books which can be found on Amazon here:

https://www.amazon.com/Caitlyn-Lynch/e/B01HP7497K/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_3?qid=1528352130&sr=8-3

I’m currently reading Finding Cory from her Island Escapes series, and enjoying it immensely. It’s “free” on Kindle Unlimited and 99cents to buy. And remember, us small time authors careers live and die by reviews, so if you do read her work, please leave reviews! It makes more of a difference than you realize!

P.S. Every page is loaded with text! ;)