Fangirling and Writer-Nerd Chaos

shut up

This man is actually willy Wonka and he needs to be stopped. Someone needs to stop him. This is out of control.

This collab was not on my 2023 bingo card

(source)

I swear to god one of these days were going to see a video of Amaury Guichon and he's going to be making some wings and they are going to look dope as hell, the detail of each feather will be breathtaking, he'll spray paint them to perfection, but as the video goes on, he's not building any sort of winged creature, just the wings. And then there's a human-sized harness (also made of chocolate, somehow, he can do it). And he's attaching the wings to the harness. And he's putting the harness on and he demonstrates how he can flap the wings. And then he'll be off. Out the window and up and up and up. And we'll be looking at the livestream (it's a livestream now) and we'll scream "No, Amaury, the sun! It's going to melt the wings!". But he knows this already. And he is free.

It's looking like he's going to do a dramatic retelling of icarus where the chocolate wings melt, but then, suddenly he takes a bite out of the sun, and smiles and nods to the camera as he chews.

everytime i see amaury the chocolate smith I'm consumed thinking about how funny it would be for him to make a really bad chocolate house out of hershey bars like a kid would make, but all the video production values are the same and he's still got that winning smile

one of the chocolate guys videos appears on your dash. you pause your scrolling to watch it, trying to guess what he’s making because this doesn’t seem to be one you’ve seen before. as the video goes on you get more unnerved and impressed — he seems to be making a whole human being this time, and it’s uncannily realistic. it’s even filled with candied fruit and sweet pastries in place of organs, red velvet cake and a cherry reduction making up flesh and blood beneath the chocolate. but something feels off. the person he’s making seems strangely familiar. upon the final reveal, you know why. amaury guichon has created a perfect replica of you

he has too much power

tghis is what its all about.

mother of god

this guy

New Character Unlocked!!!

Mooom, the chocolate alchemist has an accomplice now!

I love how Cedric Grolet, Versailles chef and Parisian absolute master of fruit trompe l'oeil, is seen as chocolate guy accomplice

...he is weaving the chocolate. Do you copy, this bitch is WEAVING CHOCOLATE

We are so damn lucky Chocolate Guy has a passion for chocolate and crafting beautiful, lifelike desserts.... because if he chose to put this level of work, dedication, and sheer determination into anything even slightly nefarious (instead of nearly breaking the laws of physics in order to create culinary masterpieces) we would be so epically fucked.

Chocolate guy has learned how to make corrugated cardboard. he is a powerful eldritch being who cannot be contained. The only reason we seem to be alive is because his interests are exclusively in the making of delicious lifelike desserts.

PACKING TAPE?? fucking PACKING TAPE??

this man from the fae realm

It's like he's teasing us. He wants us to know that he could make a perfect chocolate butthole, he never will, but he needs us to know he could do it.

Chocolate guy!

BRO?!?!?

@logarithmicpanda @psychofullmoonwerewolf HE WEARS IT. HE FUCKING WEARS IT

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Wedding Cake!🍰Simple, yet elegant with a pulled sugar cake topper!

At this point I don’t even need the watermark or the tiktok username, I see the surface and the hands and a bit of the surrounding kitchen and have a reflexive moment of “fuck you preemptively.”

I love how the internet is just “Fuck this guy in particular”(affectionately) toward him. Like, he seems so sweet and obviously talented and amazing, hell, he’s a freaking wizard practically. But we still MUST know what he’s done this time. And his skills are always show-stopping.

I am always SO angry about how fucking PERFECT his creations are but I NEVER want to stop watching

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