“I’m not chaotic good. I’m chaotic GREAT!!”

Our half-orc sorcerer

The fucking horse girls are trying to recruit me

Horses in blood

My blood type is Neigh+

the muppets, 1x01: “Pig Girls Don’t Cry.”

Why did they make me watch Fozzy Bear experience a micro aggression

his dating life was a lot of upward struggle

*on a date*

babe….when im with you……shrimp heaven really *is* now……

the bartender who has seen you use this line on at least 5 different dates: you can’t keep doing this daniel

Horton hears somebody he used to know

do you ever regret drawing something

*adds a 😳 to the end of a slightly panicked sentence*

the reactor core is above nominal temperature 😳

Oh noooooooo! The mystery is solved! You’ve solved my final riddle, you are ze new riddle master... Congratulations… You have proven yourselves... quite the adventurers... oh, I’ve landed on Bryan- Bryan, ahhh… Bryan, I’m so proud of zem… I’m going to die now... My life is flagging from my body... I’ll see my family... goodbye cruel worrrrld-

I literally have no context for this and it’s fucking me up.

So I just came out to my Mormon grandma. I expected a lot of things! I had a lot of fears! Prepared for many eventualities!

I was NOT prepared for her to say, “Oh honey, I already knew. The Holy Ghost told me.”

#the holy???? ghost??????#the holy ghost is out here SNITCHING ON ME to my GRANDMA#somebody who understands the trinity please explain whether the holy ghost is supposed to be a big fucking tattletale

d&d ask meme →

[[ inbox either the emoji or race name to ask one or more of the following ]]

✨ aasimar: What do you find to be your most unique characteristic? 🔮 changeling: Share a childhood memory. 🐉 dragonborn: Give at least (one) unpopular opinion on something. 🗻 dwarf: Talk about a skill you either know or would like to learn! 🌳  elf: What do you like to rest and relax? 🍃 firbolg: Is there something you would die to protect? 🔥  genasi: Share a memory in which you felt truly empowered. 🦎 gith: Have you ever lost a relationship over a conflicting belief? ⚙️ gnome: What is your favorite piece of art, music or literature? 🔪 goblin: Have you ever lashed out to protect yourself? ⚔️ goliath: Talk about the most dangerous experience you’ve ever had. 🌕 half-elf: Where would you build your dream home? 🌻 halfling: Talk about a time you indulged your curiosity. 🔰  half-orc: Do people find you intimidating? 💁🏿 human: What do you feel is your greatest weakness? 🐤 kenku: How well do you communicate with others? 😈 tiefling: What is the best or worst first impression you’ve ever made? 🔱 triton: What is your relationship like with water or the sea? 🐍 yuan-ti: Would you say you’re cold or warm-blooded?

gay pride cat

The single funniest thing I’ve seen in 2019 (sound on)

This is so funny? Why does it only have 500 notes I’m screaming I feel this Italian in my soul

Do you know what I like to do on the internet? I like to look at photos of black cats /amorphous furry shadow blobs with yellow orbs and fangs.

My cat just got fanart.

The whole fucking world is out here thirsting for him and his only response is; “Well. Positivity’s great.”