god I truly love the red suit (because it's hot obviously and i am not immune), but also because of the glimpse it gives us into stede and where he's at halfway through s2 (thee season of change and growth).

he's been wearing the same shabby, stained white shirt all season so far because he left everything he owned behind, and he hasn't complained once about ed throwing all his favorite clothes overboard, because nothing was more important than finding ed and finally being able to tell him how he felt about him, and I'm so proud of stede for that bit of growth. the white shirt is symbolic of that growth, of his willingness to put ed and the crew first, of him not needing all his physical belongings anymore because he has people to care about now, he doesn't need things.

but he likes them, and the way his whole face lights up when he sees the red suit and he stops to put it on in the middle of a raid (and almost gets stabbed for it) is so stede. he's grown but he still loves his fancy clothes, he loves bright colors and frills and buttons and gold thread. growing doesn't mean he has to stop loving those things, and that's such an important thing for the show to say, especially given where stede is in his journey of self discovery this season. he's still allowing himself to enjoy those things in spite of the undercurrent of fear of not being good enough and self hatred that thrums under the surface since the opening of episode 1 (and eventually leads him to kill a man and get progressively more butch in his outfit choices as the season progresses). i LOVE that he gets to have that, that he gets to feel hot and pose in front of the mirror and strut around all day (and that he gets to be a righteous bitch when the crew destroys the suit).

it's such a realistic representation of someone on a journey of self discovery, of someone who's figuring out what he's worth and why he's loveable and what he likes and will allow himself to like and how he will allow himself to present in front of others. and he gives it away because he loves his little piratical family and wants to keep them happy, but he still got to enjoy that, and he still looked great in just the red shirt with a low neckline and black lace all over it (and he got a "you wear fine things well" for it!!!!!!! ed saw and he understood what it meant to stede and stede got to hear that!!!!!! I'm kissing the show on the lips).

i still feel some type of way about the teal shirt and the leather pants and everything they say about his state of mind throughout episodes 6-8, and i feel fifty more things about him finally being able to have his romantic fantasy come true and know that he's loved in the color that represents repression and being forced to perform a type of masculinity that's been destructive for him his whole life (as I've said before). I think it was insanely symbolic and important for him to be able to wear that particular outfit at that particular time and stay in it for the entire finale.

but. BUT. i can't wait to see what becomes of Stede's gender expression when he has time to rebuild his wardrobe, when he's not running around trying to keep everyone safe or prove he has worth, when he starts to realize and embrace that he doesn't have to be a certain kind of man for people to respect him and for ed to love him. i can't wait to see the choices he makes when he's finally free to choose. I think s3 might kill me yall

One thing I love about Crowley --never stated, but consistently shown-- is that he is, at heart, an engineer.

I have a few different things to say about that. Let's unpack them.

As the Unnamed Angel, we see his designs for the Pillars of Creation are millions of pages long, comprised of cramped text, footnotes, diagrams, schematics, etc. It's very...Renaissance polymath, in the way it implies a particular intersection of artist and inventor.

Also: in the naked romanticism with which he views his stars.

We already knew he made stars, but in s2 we learn that he did NOT sculpt each of them by hand. He designed a nebula ("a star factory," he says) that will form several thousand young stars and proto-planets, and all --aside from getting the 'factory' running-- without him lifting a finger. We also learn that these young stars and proto-planets stand in contrast to those made by other angels, which are going to come 'pre-aged.'

...I'm reminded of Hastur and Ligur's approach to temptations. Damning one human soul at a time, devoting singular attention to it over the course of years or decades, and how that stands in contrast to Crowley's reliance on, quote, 'knock-on effects.'

Hm.

I'm also reminded of the M25.

The M25 may not be as grand as a nebula (sentences you only say in GOmens fandom...), but LIKE his nebula it's an intricate, self-sustaining engine that does Crowley's work for him, many times over. Again.

That's some pretty neat characterization --and so is the indication towards Crowley's disinterest in victimizing anyone tempting individual people. It takes a considerable amount of planning and effort (and creeping about in wellies), but in accordance with his design the M25 generates a constant stream of low-grade evil on a gigantic scale.

Cumulatively gigantic, that is. Individually? Negligible.

But no other demon understands human nature well enough to parse that one million ticked-off motorists are not, in any meaningful way, actually equivalent to one dictator, or one mass-murderer, or even one little influential regressive. That's the trick of it. Crowley gets Hell's approval (which he NEEDS to survive, and to maintain the degree of freedom he's eked out for himself), and at the same time ensures that any actual ~Evil Influence~ is spread nice and thin.

It's some clever machinery. And he knows it, too:

The Unnamed Angel and Crowley are both proud of their ideas.

(musings on professional pride, Leonardo da Vinci, the crank handle, and 'the point to which Crowley loves Aziraphale' under the cut)

I do think people are forgetting, sometimes willingly, that Aziraphale is JUST as heartbroken over the rejection as Crowley

They did not walk out of there with Crowley destroyed and Aziraphale bummed but getting over it once he was in the elevator. Aziraphale went to Crowley all giddy and excited because he really thought this was finally it, this was finally their chance to be happy, and he sees it as Crowley taking that chance and stomping on it. H wasn’t lying when he said he needed Crowley, he DOES, and now he thinks Crowley chose his hate for heaven over his love for him just as Crowley thinks Aziraphale chose his devotion to god over his devotion to him

It wasn’t as simple as “Aziraphale rejected Crowley” they both think the other rejected them it was essentially the messiest mutual break up you’ve ever seen

They’re both completely heartbroken and do not see the part they played in their own heartbreak. Both thinking THE OTHER caused it. It’s such a mess. It’s SUCH a mess I cannot STAND these two

Journey into the Basement: Loving Yourself and Your Lamp

One of the many reasons to love Supernatural is that even when we get silly fun-filled episodes we always come out of them with some pretty interesting realizations. “Hero’s Journey” wasn’t any different, but the realization wasn’t so much novel as a confirmation of what season 15 (and Dabb’s run as a whole) has been quite loud about: Dean’s increasing embrace of the self. 

I know we’re all hype about the destiel implications of some of the work done in 15x10, and I will absolutely delve into that goodness, but I wanted to talk about the larger impact on Dean’s character beyond romance first. I want to talk about the demise of performing!Dean. 

Keep reading

I love fandom because like, someone will go, “These three words that this character said make me SO SAD because…” and then they’ll launch into a two page long explanation about what those three words say about that character, what they must have experienced in childhood, and what their world view is like, and why they didn’t pick a slightly different set of three words to say there…

And I’m just sitting back going, “Hm. I’m not entirely sure that the author really gave it that much thought. He might have given it zero thought whatsoever. But you know what? Headcanon accepted.”

Jo Walton describes this as the “spearpoint” method of writing, where the whole story is the spear and the three words so full of meaning are the point, and without the point it doesn’t pierce you but without the spear it doesn’t have the weight to go anywhere. She’s talking about structuring a book, but the same is true for this kind of thing: no, the writer probably didn’t think in that much detail about it while they wrote those three words, but they knew their character inside and out, they knew the weight of the background, those words sounded right to them at the time.

What fandom is doing there is literary analysis. It’s the reconstructing the relationship between the spear and the spearpoint, making all the details explicit. It’s unpacking why you were able to feel so many emotions over just three words, because those three words out of context mean nothing. Even if the writer really didn’t think about it that much (like, say, if they’re writing a Marvel crossover event), what fandom is doing is explaining where they’re coming from and what this piece of art means to them.

The Shadow (14x08)

Up until 14x08 Byzantium, we have known the entity of The Empty just as “The Empty” embodied, but now it has a new name…. The Shadow…  

(Ged confronts his shadow - Wizard of Earthsea, Ursula le Guin)

“Everyone carries a shadow,” Jung wrote, “and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”

(If it’s in a word, or if it’s in a look…. you can’t get rid of the Babadook…)

“The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge.”

— Carl Jung, Aion (1951)

Both Castiel and Dean have very explicitly begun the confrontation with their shadow doppleganger selves (which will eventually lead to deeper self-knowledge):

Castiel in 13x04 The Big Empty with the entity now known as The Shadow wearing his face

And Dean in 14x02 Gods and Monsters with AU Michael wearing his meatsuit:

Both dopple-ganger entities taunt Cas and Dean. Cas is taunted with being unloved and Dean is taunted with being “owned”/ possessed/ controlled. 

Then we have another doppleganger (to emphasise the theme) Dark!Kaia who dresses like a Sith Lord and carries the spear which can pierce Michael!Dean (a bi-dent - yes, that’s a thing, I’ve meta’d about it, and the way in which AU Michael!Dean represents John Winchester’s remaining negative grip on Dean’s psyche [including the repression of his queerness] already here:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179975186264/uhm-14x05s-text-reference-is )

We have seen Dean confront Dark!Kaia, where she stands in for his AU Michael!Dean shadow:

Dean: “I am nothing like him!” (14x03 The Scar)

In 14x08 we get another chance to see Cas confront his shadow (which continues to tell him he can never be happy)

“Filling the conscious mind with ideal conceptions is a characteristic of Western theosophy, but not the confrontation with the shadow and the world of darkness. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

Carl Jung, “The Philosophical Tree,” Alchemical Studies (1945)  

Now, for Dean and for Cas, it is the season of shadow work….

13x10 | Wayward Sisters

Can we talk about Alex as a Dean parallel too. Because Claire the hunter is a flashy parallel but Alex - Alex is what happens when you take the abused kid whose body has been used as bait over and over and whose blood has been literally drawn out of her for the sake of the family, and you put that kid in a loving environment where she is allowed to look at herself and realize she has value even if she doesn’t put herself in the line of fighting but contributes to the cause in other ways who are just as precious and important than being a warrior, and wears a medical uniform with pride because it’s a respectable career that allows her to help people - because that’s where she finds her peace - and contribute to the family business at the same time, because you can help with hunting without letting others use your body as an object, as a piece of meat to lure the hunted, but thanks to your hard work and skills.

a small consideration. every time castiel died, he was forcibly brought back by someone else

- 5x01: resurrected by god

- 5x22: resurrected by god

- 7x17: resurrected by god

- 8x07: (he wasn’t dead, he was in purgatory, but I’m adding it anyway) brought back by naomi

- 9x03: brought back by gadreel

after his death in the season 12 finale, yes, jack wakes him up while he’s still in the empty (13x03), but this time it’s castiel the one who /chooses/ to fight and come back to life (13x04)

Once again, between the first cup of coffee and the second, a ficlet.

He is falling, the sheer black floor giving way to sheer black nothingness, empty echoes filling the no-space, and he thinks that will be all there ever is, until suddenly there is pain, a thousand aches informing him that he has joints and muscles and skin, once again.

He is on his hands and knees.  Beneath his gaze, tile.  …Familiar tile.

Body - he has a body! - protesting, he looks up.  A young man kneels before him, hair falling into his face, eyes wide and flickering with a golden sheen that reminds him of…someone.

“Castiel.”

“I…”  His voice is rough, scratchy, as though the chords have forgotten how to work. “…Jack?”  Castiel’s voice is incredulous, and yet he knows, somehow, that this is Jack.  Kelly’s son.  The infant he had sworn to protect.  “How long…”

“He grew up fast,” and that’s Sam,  kneeling beside him, one hand warm and reassuring on his shoulder, Sam looking much the same as last he’d seen him; tireder, but the light in his eyes is that of surprise, and a cautious joy.  “Jack, how did you-”

“We needed you.”  Jack says it to Castiel, not Sam.  

Sam looks puzzled, as though Jack’s words were unclear. And only then is Castiel able to turn his head, to look at the third person in the room, so still, so rigidly wild.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Cas.”  And in that one word, one syllable, rough as tree trunks, scraped-bare as winter ice, he knows he is home.

— (j.p.)

THE SUPERNATURAL GIF CHALLENGE ↳happilysammy vs. @wehunt-monsters-whatthehell Round 21 | Season 11 + favorite emotional moment

One morning, after a handful of fidgety afternoons, Dean sets down a paper bag of breakfast bagels in front of Cas, walks away a couple steps, and then, so in a manner so carefully casual it could only be calculated, wiggles off his old silver ring and throws it to him, with no more lead-in than a grunted, “Hey. Catch.” 

Cas catches it easily, barely glancing up from the standard-issue motel copy of the King James that he’s leafing through, but when he actually thinks to inspect what he’s now holding, he frowns. ”Dean?”

By this point, Dean has turned away and is busy shrugging out of his coat. “What?”

“What is this?”

Sam looks up from the desk at the disturbance, looking between them.

Dean rolls his eyes. “It’s a pony, Cas - what does it look like?”

Cas makes an annoyed noise in his throat. “It’s a ring,” he says. There’s a long pause where he waits for some kind of response or explanation, but Dean is suddenly extremely focused on flipping through the files for the case they’re working on; Sam closes his book and leans back in his chair, watching the exchange with amusement. After a beat, Cas goes on, “Dean, why are y—”

Dean snaps the case file shut, colour starting to seep along his neck and jawline. “Look, it’s not rocket science, okay? Either put it on or give it back,” he says gruffly.

Cas looks down at the ring in his hands - silver worn smooth by age and endless wear, a little dented and dirty where it wouldn’t come clean after a fight - and wordlessly slips it on. Ring finger, left hand. It’s a little too big but when Cas looks up his eyes are soft, crinkling at the edges like he’s looking into the sun. “Thank you.”

Dean doesn’t answer this. He jerks his shoulders in a non-committal shrug, no big deal - but he does reach out, just quickly, and touch Cas’ face, knuckle to jawline, and that’s it done and that’s all they need.

Then Dean sees Sam smirking and demands, “What are you looking at?”, because they needed a witness, but he doesn’t have to look so goddamn smug.

11.11 - Into The Mystic

THE BAD:

THE GOOD:

SCORE: A+

This literally ticked every box for things I love to see in an episode of Supernatural. Loved it.

OTHER THINGS:

I don’t really understand why so many people seem to think that ascribing deeper meanings to character names and beer brands and colors and cultural references in tv shows is giving the writers and makers of shows “too much credit”.  In my mind, it’s almost the opposite.  It’s like learning short-hand instead of writing everything out in cursive.  (Not that I am in any way judging show makers for doing it.  It’s a neat way to fit what they want to say into a tiny, little window of 42 minutes.)

I mean….

Keep reading

Looking back into “Our Little World”

There was a mirror leaned up against the wall behind Cas while he watched television for hour upon hour.  His back was to it.

Metatron was revealed by his reflection on the back of a vehicle’s side view mirror that was caught by his own camera and broadcast to where Cas saw it.

Crowley threw Dean through the mirror Amara had previously seen THE DARKNESS in.  Dean was later thrown into the same spot by Amara, and lay there in the shattered pieces as he watched Amara leave.  (She walked right past the computer she had previously been looking at pictures from the outside world on and had used to bash Crowley over the head when he threatened Dean.)

I LOVE THIS BUT WHAT DOES IT ///MEAN///???

Well hey let’s take a look at some episode themes shall we. The key word today, boys and girls, is repression.

Cas’s storyline for this episode was that of a traumatized soldier: flashbacks, anxiety, refusing to leave the comfort of home, coping by ignoring the problem and drowning his bad feelings with mindless drivel from the television, etc. This dude is repressing HARDCORE: hence, his back to the mirror. As long as he is in the bunker, Cas refuses to acknowledge trauma, his lost sense of purpose, and most importantly his own identity (tangled up in puppet strings) now that he’s allowed to make his own choices again. It’s all a little overwhelming for our little cupcake, understandably. Back to the mirror = denial of internal truths, that seems pretty obvious.

As for Metatron: he’s human now, and feels that he has sunk as low as he can possibly go. He’s got bed bugs for god’s sake. Metatron defends himself in front of Castiel with arrogance - he’s doing great on his own, he’s clawing his way to the top and he knows he’ll get there, since he’ll do whatever he has to in order to succeed. He’s too confident in his abilities. But while getting beat up, human blood trickling into his eyes, we learn that’s just an act. He confesses that it’s exhausting to live a life like this, that it’s nearly impossible to do it all by himself. I think it’s also significant that Metatron has a swollen eye in the fight scene when he admits all of this: he can’t see things clearly in his diminished state. The way we find out where Metatron is - WHAT he is, costume and all - in this episode is by seeing him reflected back to us in a mirror and making a judgment based on what we see. Prior to this point he’s been preoccupied with hiding behind a barrier of film that’s meant to reveal the true nature of OTHER people and not the person behind it. The mirror shows us a photonegative of the angel Metatron once was despite his best efforts to be something different, to hide himself away like the recluse we know him to be, and his ultimate failure to do so.

Even Crowley’s actions seem pretty clear. Crowley catapults Dean into the visual embodiment of Amara’s future self and destroys it. He’s trying to split them up, to literally break the connection between them in favor of forming one with her himself. He also asks that Amara play by his rules, stop growing up so fast. He doesn’t want to see what Amara sees in the mirror. But Amara doesn’t like that, does she? So she breaks the computer over Crowley’s head: severing the connection HE’D wanted to create with her by providing her with a filtered version of reality, the world he’d wanted her to see rather than what she knows is true (her own potential - what are volcanoes and Nazis to a pre-biblical force? - and that’s what reflected back to her in the mirror). The mirror is true prophecy and the computer is a poor imitation, a curriculum designed and shaped by Crowley. By throwing Dean into the mirror, Crowley simultaneously tries to suppress Amara’s growth AND destroy the weird bond Dean and Amara have that threatens his own safety. He, like Metatron, fails to construct a world where he comes out on top, and his shortcoming is emphasized by the very presence of a mirror. Breaking the mirror does nothing for Crowley in the end but betray his desperation.

But Dean. Hm.

How many times have we seen Dean solemnly thinking about what Amara said to him in the field about being bonded, only to shake it off and never mention it aloud? Dean is the only one in that room who hasn’t been acknowledging a connection with Amara. He doesn’t WANT it. And yet he’s powerless to keep it from developing. After initially being the instrument at Crowley’s hand to break the mirror, Amara throws him back to that spot in choosing to spare his life. At this point he’s once again surrounded by shards of mirror, still mentally processing how he was totally frozen during his one opportunity to kill her - it’s as if Amara’s visage has just multiplied, encircling him and taunting him and overwhelming him. That picture’s not complete now, but it WAS. It WILL be very soon, since Dean can’t seem to get his shit together at the fault of their connection. HERE’S THE PARALLEL: Dean doesn’t see AMARA in that mirror, he sees HIMSELF. Reflected back at Dean is, by literal mirroring, the very same thing Amara saw. The very essence of Amara will be reflected right back at him every time he looks in a mirror, because Dean’s got the darkness in him, too. (Angst, angst, angst, more angst.) Dean, I think, is beginning to understand this, and it scares the shit out of him. He doesn’t want to go back to that mental state of the Mark of Cain, so he denies the bond with Amara. He won’t become that. He lies, he represses. Unfortunately, that’s resulting in destruction. Lack of empathy where Cas is concerned (only in this episode when this all comes to a head), darkened mental state to the point where fandom’s beginning to consider him soulless, a desperate need to prove himself, lashing out at the people he loves for stupid things… it’s all because he’s being thrown around by the darkness.

Dean’s mirror is a complex symbol to nail down because it means different things for different characters, unlike the angels’ mirrors. Amara sees empowerment and a potential that will eventually be realized, so the mirror remains intact in her room. Crowley sees a threat that needs to be eliminated, so he breaks the mirror. After his failure to do what he knows he should, Dean sees his doom and his worst fears, so he lies about being “overpowered” after laying surrounded by the mirror shards.

TL;DR: Mirror placement in 11.06 underscores the significance of the following plot points: Cas doesn’t want to face his past trauma and the identity he’s adopted based on said trauma, Metatron doesn’t either and takes deliberate measures to avoid self-reflection but ultimately can’t help it, Crowley’s trying to keep Dean and Amara apart and Amara docile but like Metatron fails, Dean’s ignoring the connection he has with Amara because it’s dangerously close to being applicable to himself and that has disastrous effects on his relationships, and Amara’s forcing Dean to come to terms with all of that as not a ‘bad thing.’

????? maybe?????

This episode had so many great things, but the conversations between Sam and Dean were like seismic in how important they were.

Sam did something we haven’t seen in a long time. He was completely 100% honest about everything. He told Dean about being infected, he told Dean about praying to God, and he told Dean about his visions. And when Dean tried to brush them off, he defended them, explaining that they felt different and he pushed for Dean to get it. I’m so damn proud of him for doing this. It had to have been hard, knowing that Dean would at the very least be pissed off that he didn’t tell him this stuff immediately. But, dammit, Dean, stop being so stubborn and listen!

And then there was the conversation about finding that special someone, someone who understands the life, maybe a hunter. Not necessarily settling down into an apple pie life (we saw with Lisa that doesn’t really work) but just having a significant other to share your life with. This doesn’t diminish the brother relationship at all, but he is saying that they can have each other and have someone else. That’s huge! That’s yet another step in making their relationship with each other healthier. 

And if you want to read into it further, it can be a step towards Destiel, acknowledging that they need someone else who understands the life *coughs Cas* maybe a hunter type *coughs Cas* to be a partner *coughs Cas*. And wouldn’t it be great if Sam also found a special someone?

Man, I love me some good BM scenes that progress the story and the characters like these did!