13.12 Various Villains & Sundry

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Preliminary One Line Schedule:

15.06 Golden Time

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Script (Yellow Pages only):

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eileen leahy / 15.06

Sam & Eilieen parallel ⇢ 15x06 “Golden Time”

Cute Eileen ⇢ requested by anon

requested by @flyingfish1

Oh I LOVE it, thank you so much!! Honestly I’ve been hoping to see something like this since 15x06 and I love that you made it! I got all choked up about it when I watched it in the episode. Now I/we can get all choked up about it looking at the gifs, too :’)

‘Supernatural’s’ Shoshannah Stern on Eileen’s Time in Hell and Her New Relationship With Sam

Many characters come back from the dead on “Supernatural,” but the way Eileen came back was with a little bit of rewriting the lore that had been established seasons earlier. What were the conversations like between you and the writers about why Eileen was able to receive that special treatment?

I’ve always wanted to come back to the show, but the more I learned about the lore the more it seemed like that in Eileen’s particular case, she’d probably have to stay dead. So even when I found out I was coming back, I didn’t know why or how for a while. I thought that it was going to be a one-off thing, like a flashback of some sort, but I was down for that. Eileen means so much to me that I was just like, “I’ll take whatever I get.” Then I did a panel at Comic Con last summer and saw Robert Berens in the audience. I love him as a writer and follow him on social media, but I’d never had the actual opportunity to meet him until then. He’s just so open and warm and welcoming, and we immediately had the best, most profound conversation about Eileen that floored me because of how much thought he’d clearly put into all that. And then he was all, “So they’re announcing your return this weekend! And also what Eileen gets to do is going to be so cool!” I was like, “Wait… what?” So that’s really how I found out. I always offer up myself as a resource every time I do something because collaboration is my favorite thing about what I do. With that said, each writer is different when it comes to that, so it’s always a very fluid thing. It just happened that Meredith Glynn wrote that first episode, and the collaboration we built together out of that has become a friendship. With that said, I think I have a built in self-protection mechanism in that I kind of refuse to let myself realize the magnitude of things I do until after I’m done. I’m also not super fluent in the lore that comes along with it, because it’s super-smart and probably too advanced for me. So while I can now recognize that the way Eileen came back was really special, I don’t think I allowed myself to while I was actually doing it. I think it’s a testament to Robbie Thompson’s legacy because he created the character of Eileen. Because of how he molded her, they were determined to have her come back somehow, even in a way that’s never happened on the show before. And that’s pretty cool

Often when characters come back from the dead, they are forever changed — sometimes because they are not fully themselves, sometimes because they just have had new, crazy experiences — how did you want to see Eileen changed in this final season?

Change is inevitable because all characters grow from the experiences they’re given. Growth is change. I’ve had time to think about this because some fans of the show had very nicely wanted to see Eileen come back in different ways throughout the seasons. When the show was doing the AU, I probably wouldn’t have said no if they had decided that’s where they wanted to go with her, but in my bones I had always wanted to see Eileen back the way she’d been before. She’s such a special character because she has this really interesting mix of strength and vulnerability, and I didn’t want to see her lose that and become someone who’s more jaded or bitter. With that said, when they did bring her back, playing her as a ghost was a bit difficult because she was so sad and traumatized at first. But even underneath that, I think Eileen never really gives up and that’s why she was able to get out of hell in the first place. Once there was that possibility of things being different, the kind of hope and openness that infused everything she said jumped off the page for me, and so I let that take over in how I played her. Hope is a powerful antidote, the only one we have against fear. I think that’s such a gigantic part of who Eileen is, and that’s what I love about her.

How much do you want to layer your performance with what Eileen went through when she was dead? Is her time away weighing on her?

One thing that was especially sad about Eileen being in hell is how it probably took away her ability to communicate with any of the other beings there. I’ve seen the set and the way it’s lit, and it’s so dark in there that I think she probably had to have been alone with her thoughts for several years. The memories of her life and the connections that she made, the things that she might have been afraid of doing were probably the only conversations she had for years, and they were all with herself. So I think now that she’s back, she doesn’t want to waste any more time being stuck in her head or having regrets or being afraid of things. She wants to be in the moment, feel what she feels and do what she wants to do. Eileen’s also never really had a family or a home; she’s always been pretty solitary. So I think that the newfound joy of having a home and sharing it with people who will always have her back is something that’s so new and almost like a drug she hasn’t come down from. But that’s inevitable, and that all that she went through has to catch up to her in one way or another.

What is it about Sam that Eileen is connecting to at this point in her life/story?

I think one thing they have in common, and there’s a lot there, is that they give without any real agenda. But I think the significance of him bringing her back probably isn’t lost on either of them. This spell works only once, and so Sam really could have brought anyone back, but he chose Eileen. Yes, he’s a good person, but he’s also a strong person that stands up for what’s right. I don’t think he would have had any problem saying, “Sorry Eileen, but I can’t use this spell on you” if it wasn’t the right thing for either of them. But he didn’t hesitate. Because of that I think it kind of shows that even though their connection was brief, it was significant. Now that Eileen’s gotten a second chance, especially considering that Sam was the one to give it to her, I think she’s become fearless in potentially exploring that connection. I think it’s probably one that she reflected on quite a bit when she was in hell. I think that’s why it was especially meaningful for her to find out that Sam has also been there, because he understands better than maybe anyone else where she is at this place in time.

When Eileen is paired with Sam, do you consider her a good balance/counterpoint to him? Or do they make a good team because of their similarities?

Their origin stories are basically the same. I’ve never verified this with Robbie, but I’ve always felt that Eileen was written as a mirror image of Sam. The audience was first introduced to Sam as a baby, way back in the first episode with his mother burning on the ceiling, in the same way that Eileen was introduced in “Into the Mystic.” They both have or have wanted to study law and get out of hunting, they both hunted down the monster that killed their parent and found it lacking. They’ve died, gone to hell, and come back. Character wise, they both have this stubborn sense of morality they cling to, and are fiercely loyal. But I also think that Eileen, being more newly reborn, has a bit more hope at the moment that maybe Sam has, but because of that I think she may be making him feel a bit lighter. And I think one major difference between them is that while Eileen has always been alone, Sam has always had Dean. I think that’s why Sam feels more comfortable being a bit more unsure of things. Sam might be the most important person Eileen’s ever had in her life, and that’s a lot of responsibility to place on someone. So while I like this new and refreshing free-spirited side of her, I think Eileen should probably do what Sam is doing now and evaluate her new lot in life a bit more.

In recent seasons, it has taken the whole hunting team — whoever has been left standing in that particular time — to take on the big bad of the season. What particular strength or trick up her sleeve do you think Eileen has that will be most helpful in trying to stop Chuck?

One thing that I love about Eileen is that she’s written as such a strong and capable hunter because she uses her whole body instead of relying on one sense. Even so, I think her biggest strength is that she’s fiercely loyal. Even after just coming back from the incredibly painful and draining experience of hell, she was almost immediately happy and hopeful, and it felt like there might have been a palpable shift in the mood in the bunker because of that. That’s hard to do and I think it takes an incredibly strong person to pull that off. I think that, along with her faith in the Winchesters and in what’s right, are her strongest weapons. But I think she wears a lot on her sleeve, like we saw when she attacked Sergei. That was all her wanting to protect Sam, without any smoke or mirrors. Misha [Collins] actually asked the director, Amyn [Kaderali], to give me a knife, because he wasn’t sure size-wise I would conceivably be able to take down someone as big. But the knife didn’t feel right. I was grappling with it and so it actually felt less real to me, but I had to really convince everyone with my performance, so there was a lot of pressure. But then after I did it, Misha just casually said, “Yeah, OK, about that, I was wrong.” But I think that’s how Eileen hunts: with her heart, and she’ll continue to use it as fiercely as possible.

It feels like the way Eileen walked away from Sam and Dean (Jensen Ackles) in “The Trap” can’t be the end to her story. Would you be happy with it if it was the last time we saw her in this run of the show?

It doesn’t feel like it’s the end to her story to me either. Even so, that bit wasn’t easy to film because it was the last thing I had to do. I knew I’d be leaving for a bit, at the same time that Eileen was. So it was weirdly serendipitous, and we kind of kept tearing up even when the camera wasn’t rolling. But with this being the last season, it’s kind of always the last of something on set so the value of things are heightened in a way that forces you to stay present and appreciate all that’s in front of you in the moment. I had a project waiting for me in L.A. that I needed to start pretty immediately, but they were kind enough to remain very flexible just so I could accommodate my schedule with the show. A lot of that is because they know how important it is to me, and that commitment isn’t going to change from my end. You’re only sad if things mean something to you, so there’d be so much gratitude prompting that sadness whenever her story actually does end. But no. I refuse to believe that what we saw is the end of her story just yet.

How did you feel most changed, stepping back onto the set of “Supernatural” after running and starring in your own show?

When Eileen first appeared on “Supernatural,” I hadn’t even done the web series yet. I actually wrote that in my trailer because my daughter was a baby at the time, so there wasn’t a lot of time to do what I needed to do. … For better and for worse, it’s not just all on you as an actor. … Being an actor is how I started as a writer, because I’d always have ideas about what my character would say or do, but now it’s maybe less weird than me being like, “Hi! My name is Shoshannah, I play this character and I have notes!” One cool thing is that I was on set when the news first came out about the remake of “Walker, Texas Ranger.” Even though that’s going to be on a much bigger scale, it felt really significant to be able to sit down and have an open conversation with Jared about all the anticipation and hesitancy that comes with being a producer on a show you also star in. It was really constructive to be able to share all the things that I know now that I wish I knew then and it helped me really put a shape to it all for myself. You never step in the same river twice, and it won’t be the same for him, or even for me if I get to do this again, but now that “Walker” is a go, I know Jared will have that conversation with someone else in the future and it will be just as beneficial for both of them.

What did it take for you to say yes, you wanted to come back for this final season?

It didn’t take much. I was a cheap date. I said yes right away. I really didn’t care how we saw her again, I just knew from the first time I played Eileen that this was a character that was really important to me, and I always knew that I wanted her to come back, even when she was alive. I’d like to think that I always knew she would, but it’s sometimes difficult to separate what you want from what you think will happen. I remember when I found out that this was the last season, I felt sad about it, but then I said to someone, “Well, maybe now that will force their hand and we’ll have to see Eileen again.” It might have been wishful thinking, but I always felt like she had so much potential. But I never anticipated she’d be given so much to do, especially with the story winding up. It’s a testament to the value of the character, but it’s also been humbling to be able to play that. I’m very grateful.

What did it take to slip back into Eileen’s skin after so much time away?

A lot has happened in my life since she’s been away from the show, which kind of weirdly resonated with the character and made it surprisingly easy for me to come back to her. I think both Eileen and I have faced things in our respective lives that may have been painful, but have helped put a lot in perspective. We’ve realized that ultimately we have to be comfortable with who we are and what we want in life. Recognizing that is has made us face our fears in a way that’s made us more comfortable in our skin. I think we’re both more open and invested in our connections to people and so, being on set for such an extended period of time really endeared all the people on set to me. It was only natural that I would feel that way about the people on set of my own show, but I feel the same way about people on the set of a show that’s not mine, so that in itself illustrates how meaningful it was for me to be able to come back to her.

What do you hope Eileen’s legacy is after the show ends?

This show is such an important part of so many people’s lives. When I did my first — and only — convention, I was amazed at how many people turned out for Eileen. But I realized that the way the Winchesters live their lives are kind of analogous to people who have disabilities, whether they’re invisible or visible, because the surface of what their lives seem to be doesn’t necessarily match how it actually is. They have this thing that makes them different than what the world perceives as normal, and so they therefore require a hidden network of people who understand that life. I think might be one reason why Eileen had that sort of impact on the fanbase. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a deaf person kick ass the way that Eileen does and I’ve certainly never played that before. Deaf or disabled people are usually the victim, not the one who rescues. The fact that she is such a viable love interest is not insignificant either. So many times people don’t see people with disabilities as feasible relationship material. Because of that they’re often desexualized and written off, especially in that particular sort of way, but it’s something that is so central to the human experience, and it’s something that people deserve to have if they’re so inclined. And so the fact that the main character of the show is interested in a deaf woman in that way is something that I believe is the opposite of reductive. It’s enhancing, not just for the a character, but for young people with disabilities in the audience. I hope they see themselves the way that Sam sees Eileen and realize that they can, should, and will be seen that way by people that are important to them and to the world, because that carries an inordinate amount of weight

What are you taking away from shooting this final season that you will apply to future working experience, including a new season of your own show?

One valuable thing that I learned from all this is something that I was actually concretely able to do — and that’s shadowing the great Richard Speight Jr. as a director. He’s someone that I kept touching base with once I started this journey as a creator, and he actually kind of sparked the idea of possibly directing material myself because we’re similar in that we both kind of cut our teeth on “Jericho” and now we’re doing different things in the same field. He’s become such an invaluable resource to me and so he was really the perfect person for me to be able to learn from. But that’s something that literally wouldn’t have happened without the help of [executive producers] Jim Michaels, Andrew Dabb, and Bob Singer. It’s very difficult for deaf people to get the opportunity shadow because of the added layer and logistics of accessibility. It takes so many people to commit to saying yes and all that will entail, but these guys made it possible. I was also able to talk to Jensen about the specific challenge of directing something that you’re also starring in, which was something that was intimidating for me. What I learned from all these guys is that directing is really about solving problems, and that’s something I’ve really learned how to do in the experiences I’ve been given recently. So hopefully directing is something that I’ll be able to execute in the future.

When the show comes to an end, what do you anticipate your involvement with the property to be?

Stands knows that I will do anything they ask. That’s a partnership that will hopefully continue until they can’t stand me anymore. I’ve always been drawn to the idea of charity work and I’m very grateful to them for making that a reality for me. As for conventions, the one that I did was an amazing experience, and I look forward to hopefully being asked back. To be completely forthright, I think the convention world has been very slow to recognize and understand the specific responsibilities and the resulting advantages of accessibility. Accessibility is not charity. It’s not something people do out of the kindness of their heart. I’ve lost count of how many times fans have reached out to me for help when conventions don’t want to provide interpreters or ramps or captions. The sad part is I think that it’s probably true on both sides of the stage. With that said, my experience meeting the fans was so enriching I’d love to come back if I was invited. I think there’s an opportunity in that to spread more awareness about accommodations in an organic way, and if that’s a part of what I can do, then that’s what it’s going to be, but both sides have to be committed to that in order for that to happen.

How do you feel most changed by your involvement with “Supernatural”?

From the very beginning, “Supernatural” has been weirdly intertwined with my growth into the person that I am now, who is hopefully going to evolve in the person I’d like to be. It’s kind of been the catalyst for so many important events in my professional life, and so even if it seems like “This Close” and other projects I’ve done/will do don’t have anything to do with the show, inside me, it feels as if they’re all connected. The show has constantly challenged me to do things I haven’t done before, and that’s given me the confidence I needed to push myself further. The most recent development is all the stunts that I was given to do in this season. I had to do at least one physical thing in every episode that I did. I’d shot guns before, but there aren’t necessarily a lot of physical things that are usually given to characters that are deaf, so I was kind of intimidated by the thought of doing that. But it felt really stimulating to do that, and it actually made sense on a corporeal level because once I thought about it, stunts are a way for characters to communicate in a way that isn’t verbal. And so I see that coming out now in the things that I write and it’s a really cool thing for me to explore. But I think the biggest lesson in all this for me in all this is that “Supernatural” has proven there is a place for a character who is deaf in any world that exists out there. I think I’d always tried to believe that before I did the show, but sometimes that belief felt thin, as if I was wanting to hold on to something that wasn’t actually there. “Supernatural” has solidified that into something that’s now tangible, and now there’s something there for me to hold on to. I think I will walk away from this experience, whenever that point may come, stronger in my conviction that there’s so much more that can and will be done.

variety

Presences, absences. Rowena, Mary, Eileen, Amara in 15x06

The protagonists of 15x06 Golden Time are all women, some physically present in the narrative, some physically absent but there in their absence.

On the level of the plot, the narrative plays with how the two ghost women, first the dead witch and then Eileen, appear in the fight and take their opponents by surprise: two seemingly absent figures that are in fact key players, but there’s more than that.

The episode opens with the witch Jacinda breaking in Rowena’s apartment, and, while the apartment is apparently empty except for the intruder, Rowena is the protagonist of the scene. The young witch is counterposed to Rowena’s portrait: Jacinda is disorderly, chaotic, increasingly frustrated. Rowena’s figure is still, composed, collected. While Jacinda is seemingly being the one in a position of power as she trashes Rowena’s stuff and shatters things, it’s actually Rowena who has full control of the situation. An intruder trashing through her apartment was a situation she perfectly accounted for, and the visible part of the apartment was just a stage, constructed to deceive and punish looters.

Reality and illusion is a strong theme this season, where you don’t know “what’s God and what isn’t”, where Dean and Sam have been put in front of the fact that the world around them is a stage where God moves his pieces from behind the scenes. This episode even contains a Djinn, the creature that most of all messes with your perception of reality. Nothing is what it seems: the young woman isn’t a concerned neighbor, Rowena’s apartment isn’t the abandoned space any witch can come in and steal from, the visible part of the apartment isn’t all there is and is in fact carefully constructed for appearances, the moving truck isn’t a moving truck, the sheriff isn’t human–and Cas isn’t either–, the fight isn’t two against two and isn’t two against three either, Sam isn’t the ignorant nobody Rowena’s legacy would be wasted on.

But let’s get back on track. Rowena is physically absent, but she is the director behind the scenes: she hexed the apartment so that an intruder would die, and set things so that Sam could have access and take what he needed, and she left journals so that her successor could learn from her and use her magic. Rowena’s ingredients and spells save Sam and Dean and bring Eileen back to life. Rowena isn’t physically there, but her legacy and forethought save the day and allow Eileen to come back as a fully living person.

The other woman who isn’t there but whose presence runs through the episode is Mary. Mary has been a “absent presence” since Jack did the thing. The episode that followed her (supposed) death, aptly titled Absence, was all about her presence in her disappearance, and her absence has never stopped existing in the narrative. It’s in Absence, in fact, that Rowena researches the spell that Sam ends up using for Eileen, and the events from that episode are repeatedly referenced by Sam and Dean. The conflict between Dean and Cas, while it has its roots in “structural” issues between them, has arisen from Mary’s death. Mary’s absence still informs the narrative, and silent storytelling techniques also add to making her “present”, such as Dean’s appetite for meat.

@drsilverfish​ has been suggesting that Mary might not be dead, but “misplaced” either mistakenly by Jack (possibly in another universe, as Jack has obviously been a force that messed up with universes since before he was even born), or deliberately by Chuck in a scheme where everyone would assume that Jack had killed Mary, thus putting the “Moriah” storyline in motion.

The hints are indeed there, and this episode is just the culmination. The circumstances of Mary’s disappearance and her supposedly being in heaven are repeatedly referenced (in an episode where Cas, the one who saw her in heaven, goes against a Djinn, the monster that makes you perceive a fake, fabricated reality…), Dean expresses his regret that they couldn’t bring her back (but the spell brings back a woman from water, after a series of multiple episodes rich in symbology revolving water and fire, fire being the element that notably killed Mary).

Even the villains of the episode are a mother with her two children, although one may argue that the witch mother was more of a John parallel than Mary, but even as a contrasting mirror it plays into it. In the other storyline of the episode, we have a mother who is looking for her child. In this case, the presence-absence axis is swapped; it’s the child whose absence moves the plot, but, again, it’s the woman, Melly, who is the “director” of the events in that storyline, as she’s the one who gives Cas the elements to run the case and asks for his help.

So, Rowena is the director of the witch storyline (the mother witch thinks she is, even looking through mirrors like a director looking at the screens where footage is being played, but she’s mistaken), while Melly is the director of the Djinn storyline (although the absence that puts it in motion is her son’s, while it’s Rowena’s own absence that puts the witch storyline in motion).

And Mary? She has never been the “director” of anything, quite the opposite, her entire life being manipulated by God with the one exception of Amara going against her brother’s plan for her. And yet her absence has been a driving force for so long, the force who drove her husband’s and sons’ entire life–John’s revenge quest, Dean and Sam’s upbringing in the world of monsters and hunters. The biggest clue that there’s more to her (supposed) death than it meets the eye is that it’s just history repeating. Mary dies, her absence drives the story: Dean’s revenge quest against Jack (the failure of which really pissed Chuck off), the cleft between Dean and Cas.

The theme of this episode is indeed women who are in the middle between life and death. Eileen and Jacinda are ghosts, existing in the veil between earth and the afterlife, neither one or the other, as both Sam and Jacinda’s mother plan to take advantage of a “loophole” in the order of Death.

Rowena is not there and yet she is, though her preparations is case something happened to her. Mary is not there but she is constantly evoked, and the circumstances of her death are affecting her family. Are they going to be Eileen or Jacinda? Is their metaphorical ghost going to be banished once and for all, or are they going to be restored to corporeity and full presence?

Eileen is reborn from water in a clear metaphor for a mother’s womb. Rowena drew the spirits into her belly in a reverse-birth imagery. Mother and child were the main civilians they helped in 15x01, mother and child are helped by Cas in 15x06…

I want to conclude this with two other women who are not present in this episode, and yet their presence, in different ways, can be felt.

One is Death, mentioned by the witch mother in the foreshadowing-smelling line “show Death a loophole, and she closes it”. And the other is the figure that represented the banished feminine returning, Amara. Eileen was killed by Ketch when his role in the narrative was exactly to be the toxic masculinity dark mirror to Mary and Dean, and now she is brought back in a win against the repressive masculine (also, the witch mother, who tries to oppose Sam’s plan to bring her back, despite appearances, is primarily a mirror for John and Chuck, representing abusive parenting - the older sister might have abused the younger but the implicit enabler of that abuse is the parent, who probably encouraged Jacinda’s spells and made Emily feel inferior and all - and manipulation that mirrors Chuck’s).

Eileen falls in a pattern of figures of femininity and healthy interpersonal relationships harmed by figures of toxic masculinity and abusive dynamics. She is brought back thanks to Rowena’s magic, so I wonder if we’re supposed to read an Eileen–Mary Rowena–Amara parallel. If not really Rowena, then magic/witchcraft.

No one remembers it, but I had massive feels/expectations of a connection between the Darkness and witchcraft, and if the show is actually doing the thing, my heart is probably going to burst and I’m going to die on the spot, I’m warning you.

Anyway. Amara is the cosmic feminine principle who was banished and brought back, and that is implicitly evoked by Eileen’s comeback. And Mary is the narrative feminine principle that was fridged for the plot and Amara brought back. Now magic (the feminine principle that the Men of Letters attempted to banish, remember? We were all expecting Sam embracing magic because it was the perfect “supernatural” parallel to Dean’s embracing of “human” feminine side) brings Eileen back.

And beyond all of this, the woman that the poetic fabric of the cosmos brought back upgraded after she was killed as the consequence of the vicious circle of self-sacrifice in season 12, the same as Eileen. Speaking of vicious circles… what’s round and bad-tempered?

Now to the actual conclusion of the post–there’s another “absence” in the episode, although in a different sense. Dean takes a step back from things, taking refuge in ways to soothe the shock of the latest revelation about Chuck and his newfound nihilism. While Sam drives (figuratively and literally), Dean chooses to be absent from the case of helping Eileen. But then, of course, he intervenes when he’s needed, and in fact kills the two siblings, dark mirrors for him and Sam (unlike the werewolf brothers, it’s Dean and Sam who actively destroy the dark mirrors for the Winchester family in this episode, so who knows if Chuck was behind that.)

Genders are swapped here, Dean and Sam are aligned to Rowena and Eileen, while the witches represent abusive and codependent family dynamics (that one sister chooses not to break despite being given an opportunity to) with the mother, as I mentioned before, paralleling John and Chuck, and the sisters an apparent parallel to Dean and Sam, as Sam tries to connect with Emily, before we realize that their experiences with the respective siblings are on totally different levels.

In particular, Dean burns the body of the older sister. Again, fire and water in contrast, with the figure of abuse burning and the figure of healthy interpersonal relationship and femininity banished by toxic masculinity is reborn from water. Sam does the latter, Dean does the former, two movements that are opposite yet complementary. The negative is destroyed in fire, what killed Mary, the feminine principle of the narrative, in the first place; the positive rises from water, an allegorical womb.

this is all excellent, but i especially loved these two things you’ve pointed out:

“Now magic (the feminine principle that the Men of Letters attempted to banish, remember? We were all expecting Sam embracing magic because it was the perfect “supernatural” parallel to Dean’s embracing of “human” feminine side) brings Eileen back.”

and

“Now to the actual conclusion of the post–there’s another “absence” in the episode, although in a different sense. Dean takes a step back from things, taking refuge in ways to soothe the shock of the latest revelation about Chuck and his newfound nihilism. While Sam drives (figuratively and literally), Dean chooses to be absent from the case of helping Eileen.”

maybe i’m wrong, but 15x06 reminded me a lot of 12x22 - in “Who We Are”, Dean encourages Sam to take the lead in handling the BMOL while he will save Mary. at first glance, it may seem like 15x06 is the reverse of this - Dean helps with fighting the witches and Sam is the one to save Eileen. i would argue though that it’s not a reverse - (Sam is still the one to take action, like you said, he was literally driving the car; the one who was mainly involved in confronting and overcoming the threat of the other witches) but there is a twist. this time, Dean isn’t saving his brainwashed (”absent”) mother by emotionally connecting with her where she has secluded herself in an illusion of safety. he himself is the one who is largely absent from the case, who has retreated into a cocoon of (perceived) safety. he stays at home (where Mary had also hidden herself, except an imaginary and “perfect” home in her mind) and tries to surround himself with as much comfort as possible

@dotthings also said something really important about that in their tags on this gifset

i know he’s cute and all

but this really isn’t comic relief

Dean isn’t reduced to just comic relief

his trauma coping is a mirror of how he dealt with things post-AU Michael

Dean is not okay

he’s heartbreaking

he’s putting on a good show and he looks so tried and he’s trying to bury himself in comfort eating and Scooby Doo

it’s not going to make the hurt go away

(tumblr insisted on making your tags bullet points - hope it’s okay i included your tags here, please tell me if not!)

when Dean offered the solution of trapping Eileen in one of the chrystals because at least then she would be safe from becoming a vengeful spirit and from going back to hell, that it would be “better than where she was and better than where she’s going”, i couldn’t stop thinking about how that’s basically what Dean’s doing to himself right now. Mary had hidden herself away behind “impenetrable psychic walls” because the BMOL took away her agency and sense of self/personhood (like you,  @postmodernmulticoloredcloak , explained so accurately in this post). Dean is now going through the same thing with Chuck (yes, one can argue that Chuck isn’t controlling Dean’s every thought and move like the BMOL did with Mary in the end, but that’s the horror of it, there’s no way for Dean to know “what’s god and what isn’t”), and as a result, he retreats in an effort to protect himself from further pain and violation

while he can talk about this with Sam a little at the end of the ep, Cas is usually the one Dean is emotionally vulnerable with, but Cas has left and Dean likely doesn’t trust that everything with Cas wasn’t also a Chuck thing. this is not to say that Dean won’t be able to find strength in himself again, but while Sam embraced magic in this ep and finds hope that they can fight Chuck, Dean is still isolated by the end, in doubt and in pain, because he’s faced with this seemingly overwhelming loss - overwhelming absence - of agency

Yep, perfectly said.

15x06 has a theme of enclosed spaces. Rowena’s apartment, and especially the even more enclosed part where the magic stuff is, a room without windows; the container where the witches are, literally a box without windows; the silver mine that the EPA shut off in the 70s because of toxic runoff and that the djinn used as a lair (the creature of illusions and fabricated fake realities lives in an underground space that is literally toxic, not a metaphor al all…).

We’re still in the theme of the box. Dean has been in a bad place since Michael and yes, there’s a parallel between that experience and Mary’s with the BMoL. (And btw, that storyline was super heavy with the water imagery…)

Dean has been having trouble with reality since then. I was planning to make a post about the whole thing as a metaphor for a psychotic breakdown but never got around to actually write it…

keeping fingers crossed that you will get to write it because I’d love to read it! :)

i’ve seen several people, especially @dotthings, very accurately point out why dean is the one most devastated by the reveal of how far chuck’s manipulations went, but there’s one thing i haven’t seen talked about yet, and that’s the parallels between what dean went through with au michael and what he’s going through with chuck now

dean hasn’t really had any chance yet to heal from what he went through with michael, and i can imagine that to him, it’s like it’s repeating all over again, just on an even bigger and more all-encompassing scale:

- dean couldn’t force michael out, he couldn’t get away from him at all. he only got away temporarily because michael decided to leave him. and even when dean thought he was gone, michael was actually watching them, spying on them through him. just like he now knows chuck has been watching them the entire time, and though sam may think he’s left for real, dean didn’t seem so sure

- there was no escape for dean from michael at all. unlike when sam or cas were possessed by lucifer, who couldn’t get back in after being forced out, michael had left “the door open a crack” - he would always be able to possess dean again. they knew no way to kill him, and dean was only just so managing to keep him trapped for a while, knowing that ultimately he would be helpless to stop him. chuck killed jack in front of dean and opened the hell gates and there was nothing he could do to stop him either

- even when dean thought he’d found a way to kill michael, it turned out to just be another manipulation and that he was doing exactly what michael wanted him to do. michael’s plan back then is essentially what chuck’s punishment is doing to dean right now: “To break him, to crush and disappoint him so completely that, this time, he’ll be nice and quiet for a change – buried. And he is. He’s gone.” ‘gone’ in the sense that dean now doesn’t believe free will is real, doesnt’ believe that he himself - his life - is real

- rocky’s bar also beautifully ilustrates the horror of this imo. michael not only made dean believe the bar and his life there were real, he made him believe the bar was dean’s choice. that dean picked the spot, the decor; that when someone came to take the bar from him he got to say no, and got to keep it. and then it turned out that the bar was fake. that he was manipulated into believing that it was real and his own choice, manipulated into believing he was free - as long as he was there, he couldn’t remember that he was actually possessed by michael at the very moment. and, michael had him trapped there. much like michael had him trapped and drowning before, and much like he now feels like he’s been trapped by chuck in chuck’s maze his entire life

- even death is no escape. with no way to kill michael, dean decided to trap himself with him, but the prospect of it scared him extremely. as sam put it: “what you’re talking about is far worse than death. Michael’s an archangel. He could literally keep you buried, in a coffin, alive forever.” chuck could be bringing them back and make them run through his maze for all eternity if he wanted. even if they died, they’ve just learned that chuck can force souls that were bound for heaven to go to hell. heaven as they know is falling apart, the empty has been described as even worse than hell, and their life on earth seems to have been an endless manipulation

That is a really good point. Being possessed is the ultimate loss of autonomy, and the Dean-AU Michael storyline was very much about Dean fighting for autonomy and losing and then regaining it, and about the sheer horror of what being possessed by AU Michael felt like. Dean described it as drowning. In a way, he’s drowning again now, in his despair. Chuck has shoved Dean’s head under the water by making him doubt his entire life, everything he fought for, that everything was all puppeted and controlled, and that nothing Dean went through has been “real.” SPN is the horror genre after all, and very often operates with psychological horror and body horror–possession and sense of helplessness.

Dean’s regaining of sense of purpose and autonomy and realizing that his life did have meaning and screw you, Chuck, might wind up being a parallel to Dean shutting AU Michael in the closet. It won’t solve the problem. But Dean’s will and sense of self is incredibly strong, as we saw in S14, and he’ll defeat this sense of despair.

this discussion took place after 15x02 but i feel it’s a good time to reblog it again because of this

which btw strongly reminded me of this

in terms of dean’s struggle to parse out what was him and what was michael, what is him/his entire life and what’s chuck’s doing.

also this - yet another instance of a drowned boy

i found this one especially interesting because the missing boy looked like he’d drowned but was actually “juiced” - drained of all his blood. when he was possessed, dean wasn’t actually drowning either, but michael made him feel like he was. as @dotthings​ so accurately said, dean is now also drowning metaphorically, drowning in his despair. he hasn’t been literally drained of all his blood, but he is drained in spirit, drained from his pain and grief

in a way, it was worse, because dean didn’t even know anymore that he was possessed, that the bar/his life, wasn’t real. now, while dean does know chuck has manipulated their lives, he doesn’t know the extent of those manipulations, and can’t see any way to escape them and have anything that’s “real”. no wonder he is trying to find any comfort he can with drink and food and cartoons and soft clothing - of course his falling out with cas also plays a big role in that, but this particular coping mechanism is something that, as other people have already pointed out, he also did right after the first time michael possessed him, which left dean not only feeling frustrated and traumatized but vulnerable. this post is already long enough though, so hopefully i will have the spoons tomorrow to write down my thoughts about dean and vulnerability in regards to the most recent eps

Re-reblogging for your additional commentary updating with the most recent eps. And definitely, not a coincidence Dean’s coping mechanisms displayed in 15.06 match his post-AU Michael trauma (cute pj’s instead of cute socks, Scooby Doo instead of horror movies, dry cereal instead of pizza).