Two states of mind

The way this archeologist tries to keep a straight face while talking about a 2000-year-old dildo on Chinese state TV 😭😭😭

So this comment section on a tiktok about insane things people ask at aquariums is a goldmine

[ID text–

Tweet by Jonathan Edward Durham @‌thisone0verhere, posted 3:30 PM UTC 26 September 2024:

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FOR SALE: baby catapult, barely used

apparently this is a thing in Japan too, and it gets translated as “Mundane Halloween.” There are so photos online and they’re all so good?????

“Person going to work on a windy day"

“Woman who’s having her bang cut but the hairdresser is nowhere to be found"

"Zookeeper in charge of the pandas"

Here are two more:

"Not pregnant lady when someone yield seat to her on subway"

And my favorite

"Person on thermal infrared camera"

Might share more tomorrow.

Influencers taking selfies at a gym

Starbucks barista working her ass off on Halloween but gotta keep up that smile

Person who sits on wet paint

Person who's still loading

Boyfriend carrying girlfriend's shopping bags

I love these so much

I don't think they've held it this year yet but here's some from last year I like:

That Strange Girl From The 'My Neighbor Totoro' Poster Who Is Neither Mei Nor Satsuki And Never Appears At Any Point In The Movie

A Person Online

Female Character That Will Become Beautiful Once She Takes Off Her Glasses

One of my favorite thing I’ve learned about animals studies is that you should avoid using colorful leg bands when you’re banding birds because you can accidentally completely skew the data because female birds prefer males with colorful bands

Apparently if you put a red band on a male red wing blackbird his harem size can double

So like you can completely frick up the natural reproduction of a group of birds by giving a guy a bracelet so stylish that females CANNOT resist him

Me, putting a red bracelet on the leg of a male red wing blackbird: ON GOD we gonna get u some pussy bro

I remember reading a study where researchers realized that female birds of a certain species preferred males with a darker breast. So they created what they literally called a “Super-Sexy Male” by catching a male and coloring his chest with a marker. They then ran dna tests on the eggs in the area.

Previously when the researchers had run these tests, they found a certain amount of infidelity was common for these birds. Somewhere around 10% of eggs were fathered by males who were not the primary mates of females.

After the advent of the Super Sexy Male, however, stuff got crazy in bird world. Infidelity skyrocketed, with upwards of 25% of ALL EGGS in the area being fathered by this specific male. Furthermore, his mate’s eggs were 100% his.

This is just insane to me. Just imagine you’re living your bird life when suddenly somebody scribbles on Dave’s chest and the ladies can’t stop throwing themselves at them. It’s stupid that we theoretically can wreck this kind of havoc on an ecosystem.

via @elytrians

And all the aliens did was dye your hair

So, they're mad the author didn't have...2020 vision?

🥁 ✨

#now onto the more important thing: hummus#edit: i think what really gets me#is the implication that this woman is the only person that the hummus story would ever have worked on#that no one else would have believed the hummus story for even a moment#but this boy just happened to have a mother who did not know until that very moment that her favorite food was hummus#the one person on earth who took a single bite of hummus and thought#this explains all those orgasmic sounds#i need no further explanation#all i care about now is hummus (@unpretty)

after reading this post the word "hummus" has lost all meaning

the verticals vs the horizontals is tomorrow

Tumblr is a fate driven website. You can't find posts through the search function, you see them when you're meant to.

The topography of 重庆Chongqing City is like this

just some lads, being fellows

And to think that it takes very little to make a child happy....

Off topic but this is too good not to share with the world!

That poor excavator operator: DON'T FUCK THIS UP DON'T FUCK THIS UP

Well would you look at that

A tale as old as time.