While we're all here and I'm trans and cranky I also want to say that there is no like gender conforming presentation as nonbinary. There is not and should never be a gender role for nonbinary that anyone should feel pressure to confirm to, and no specific presentation as nonbinary person is more correct or acceptable. Masculine and feminine are arbitrary and presentation does not equal gender this is like trans 101 yall.
Nonbinary people do not owe you androgyny and nonbinary people who are 'masculine' or 'feminine' are not any less nonbinary and they are not privileged by having their gender identity erased because they are assumed to be men or women, nor are nonbinary people who are 'androgynous' conforming to a socially accepted nonbinary gender role and they are not privileged by being visibly trans, nonbinary, or gender variant in a cis binary gender normative society that is hostile to gender nonconformity.
"How do you reconcile the idea that nonbinary people who present more masc or fem feel pressure to give up any connections to binary gender or present more androgynous in order to have their gender respected with the idea that nonbinary people who present more androgynously feel pressure to choose a gender alignment and present more masc or fem in order to have their gender respected?"
Easy, cis and binary people don't like how we challenge gender norms and the gender binary and will say whatever they have to in order to try and shame us out of it. It's not about trying to make us the "right" kind of nonbinary, it's about trying to get us to stop being the kind of nonbinary that we are in order to control us and eventually shame us out of being nonbinary at all. Next fucking question.