It had been nearly three days since Castiel had finally turned back to Castiel. Three days of sleepless nights, yelling and murmured accusations from Dean. Three days of silence from Cas.

Even now, Castiel was as quiet as a mouse, sitting stock still and staring down at his hands on his lap without any sign of movement. It was maddening. And terrifying. And Dean had ran out of things to do. Apparently screaming at the guy wouldn’t work, nor begging. All Dean could do now was accept it for what it was, even if it was the most difficult thing to do.

Dean opened his mouth and shut it. He’d been sitting next to Cas now for about ten minutes and he still didn’t have a clue what to say or how to start it. Everything was a fucking mess. That was an understatement.

“I’ve been so pissed at you for not fucking talking to me,” Dean mumbled, choosing to go straight to the point. “But it’s not about me, is it? You’ve been through some shit. The only other person who could understand a bit of what you’re going through is Sam and he’s telling me to leave you the fuck alone until you’re ready. So I’m gonna listen to him. For once,” Dean huffed, rubbing his hand tiredly over his face. He felt like he’d aged ten years the past few weeks. He swore new wrinkled had formed.

ROBOT

ao3 l Updated every Saturday

“Dean,” Castiel placed a hand on Dean’s arm, making Dean jump; even now, the guy still could turn up without warning and scare the shit out of him, “Are you alright?”

Dean’s skin prickled as he subtly pushed Cas’ hand off him, “Me?” he replied gruffly, keeping his gaze on the soapy suds in the bowl, “I’m fine,” he lied, passive aggressively grabbing a dirty dish to scrub clean. Honestly, Dean didn’t know why he was so angry about it; it didn’t matter whether Cas cared about some shitty day years ago. It didn’t matter. So why had Dean been fixating on it the entire fucking day?

“You've been very quiet,” Castiel commented, leaning against the kitchen counter with a sense of belonging; Dean kind of hated how much the sight pleased him.

“I just-” Dean waved his wet hand in the air as he tried to push what was bothering him aside, “I thought you would have remembered,” he murmured gruffly.

Even though Dean barely spoke the words aloud, of course the angel in the room heard them, “Remembered?” Castiel inquired carefully.

“What?” Dean blinked, feigning innocence, “Nothing,” he shook his head, “It’s nothing, I’m just gonna-” he went to move, run away from the situation that was making him feel like shit and an idiot all rolled into one. A shitty idiot, so to speak.

“Dean,” Castiel halted him with the simple word, the name that Castiel always managed to convey importance to, “Of course I remember.”

Dean stilled, “You do?” he asked quietly, finally garnering the courage to look up at Cas. There was a warmth in the blue eyes, a fondness made especially for Dean, something that Dean wished he could reach out and capture, hold onto whenever he felt bad.

Castiel shook his head disbelievingly, “Dean,” he tilted his head to the side, stating it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “How could I forget?”

They weren’t going to make it into a fanfare, Dean suddenly realised. There was no need for them to make a big deal of what had happened so many years ago; they both remembered it clearly with their own version of events. Of the taste of dirt in Dean’s lungs as he clawed his way back to air with a hand print burned onto his arm. Of the soul that Castiel had carved back together with detailed precision and care. 

They stood there in the kitchen, gazing at each other as they silently shared an acknowledgement for the day that had changed their lives. And that was enough for Dean.

LOST + FOUND

Author: flightlesscas l Artist: lostloona l dcbb15 Fic link: Fic Masterlist Art link: Art Masterlist Fandom/Genre: Alternate universe Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel (Side Pairings of: Sam/Jess, Charlie/Dorothy, Jo/Victor, and Bobby/Jody) Rating: Explicit Word Count: 150k  Warnings: Mentions of past drug use, past suicide attempts, past minor character death, homelessness, homophobia, and PTSD. 

Groaning, Dean nuzzled the warmth next to him. Head pounding, he wondered why his body had decided that it should wake Dean up and punish him. Seriously, Dean felt like he had the worst hangover ever, his mouth had a weird tangy taste, his body felt stiff, and his mind was weirdly on edge.

“Dean?” Cas asked gently, hand carding through Dean’s hair. Cas’ touch always felt like electric to Dean, but now it was on overdrive. Dean could feel the grains deep in Cas’ skin, could almost taste the moisture on Cas’ skin.

“What-” Dean frowned, “What happened-” he groaned again, tipping his head up to look at Cas’ concerned eyes, wincing at the movement of his head, “Ugh,” he shut his eyes, feeling sick.

“You don’t remember?” Cas asked, voice careful as he continued to smooth down Dean’s hair.

“No,” Dean shook his head, which he quickly regretted, “Fuck, my head hurts.”

Cas pressed a kiss to the top of his head, something that Dean awfully wondered was something to soften the blow as to what was about to be said. Turns out, Dean was right.

“You were turned into a vampire,” Cas told him, voice calm and even.

"So, if you're Sam," Dean folded his arms, scrutinising his younger brother who was now twice the size of him, "Where's dad?"

Sighing, Sam averted his gaze, running a hand through his long hair before he looked back at Dean. It had taken ten minutes for Sam to make Dean believe that he was, in fact, Sam. The concept was a struggle for fourteen year old Dean, who knew Sam as a snot nosed, little kid who followed him around like a puppy. The guy towering above him, with way too long hair, wide shoulders, and a freaking giant- the idea of him being Sam was downright weird.

"Uh," Sam swallowed, "He's not here at the moment. On a hunt," he offered with a weak smile.

"Okay," Dean shrugged, finding that plausible. In 2014, Dean and Sam were old enough to do shit without John watching over them. Still, it kind of sucked that Dean was stuck with an older Sam who he hardly recognised; at least with his father, he would look more like the man he knew from his time frame.

"I'm-" Sam took a step back, looking freaked out by the situation, "I'm gonna call Cas."

"Who the fuck is Cas?" Dean retorted.

"I'll meet you outside your class, okay?" Dean asked, nuzzling his and Cas' noses together. They were in the middle of a school corridor but he couldn't really care less, not when he hadn't saw much of Cas during the day so far seeing as Cas had been stuck in an exam for the most part of the morning. 

"Okay," the corner of Cas' eyes wrinkled happily as he accepted a short kiss from Dean.

"Remember, tonight we've got to kick Sam's ass on that stupid fucking video game of his," Dean told him, smirking as he thought back to the last game Cas had thrashed. The look on Sam's face had been priceless.

"Stupid?" Cas quirked an eyebrow up in amusement, "I recall that you rather enjoy playing it," his lips stretched into a grin, "But only when you were winning."

"Shut up," Dean retaliated, grinning himself. He was a sore loser; he knew that, Cas knew that, and Sam most definitely knew it too.

Laughing lightly, Cas only shook his head, kissing the corner of Dean's mouth to soften the teasing.

"Aw," Zach appeared from nowhere, with his douchebag cronies in tow, "Getting your daily fill of freak, Dean?"

It had been hours. Well, it had probably only been a few minutes, if that, but it felt like hours to Dean. Stuck in what felt like a time freeze, they both stared intently at one another, Cas fiddling with the sleeve of his ugly, oversized sweater, as Dean waited for what he now realised to be an inevitable no.

"You don't want to date me," Castiel finally spoke, eyes wide and throat clicking.

"Er," Dean chuckled awkwardly, "Pretty sure I do, else I wouldn't have asked."

The reply didn't seem to appease Cas, who merely shook his head and kept his distance, "You may think that you do, but you don't."

Dean looked around the bunker, marvelling at how packed it looked. It was a first for god knows how many years; not since the actual Men of Letters had this many people inhabited the building. All of it had been a surprise, to be quite honest. Charlie had arrived unannounced from Oz, hand in hand with her very obvious girlfriend, Dorothy. It had been planned that Jody might come along with Annie for a catch up, though it wasn't for definite, but she'd turned up too. Krissy and her gang had decided to come around too, thus making the bunker look more like a creche than anything, but Dean was still happy to see them.

And most importantly of all, Cas was there. For the first time since Dean had met him, Cas was there for new years, and for hopefully all the years to come.

With their stomachs filled of Dean's delicious Christmas dinner (Sam and Cas had offered to help, but Dean had batted their hands away, which was on hindsight was probably for the best), Dean and Cas relaxed as they watched a random Christmas movie on tv.

Sam had been close to falling asleep, not even bothering to swipe away the antlers that Dean had dropped onto his head, before he had mumbled that he was going to his room. Even though he was apparently tired, he’d still wished them a merry Christmas again, giving Dean a pointed look with a huge grin as he pretty much rushed off to his room with a skip in his step. Castiel hadn’t really bothered to understand it all, how someone tired could be that bouncy. Sometimes, he was at a loss with human interaction, even though he was human himself now.

With the room to themselves, Cas and Dean were wide awake, snuggling on the couch and sharing soft kisses as they pretty much forgot about the movie. There was a pleasant warmth in the pit of Castiel's stomach as he let Dean hold onto him tightly, enclosing them together as they should be.

Family by Choice, Part 9

“Cas, calm down,” Dean bit back a smile, pulling Cas close to him by grabbing him around the waist, “She’ll be out in a sec. The plane’s only just landed,” he soothingly ran his fingers through Cas’ hair, anything to try and get him to stop rocking on the balls of his feet.

“I know,” Cas nodded, gaze still on the door where the passengers would come through, “It’s just,” he swallowed, “I’ve missed her.”

Dean nosed at Cas’ jaw, pressing a gentle kiss against the stubble, “I know you have baby.”

Cas sighed, melting into Dean’s touch, “So much has changed over the past year and I just wish- I wish that she could have been here,” he admitted.

"What the hell am I doing here?" Dean demanded sharply as soon as the two guys entered the box room. Normally, Dean wasn't quite so rude to fucking police officers, but right now, he was going to be as rude as he liked. When police officers grab you when you're on your way to get morning coffee and tell you that they're taking you in for questioning on someone's fucking murder, manners go out of the window.

"You know why," the slimy one spoke, his buggy eyes already giving Dean the creeps, "We want to ask you a few questions."

Dean rolled his eyes, tapping his foot against the floor, "This is about that girl on new year’s, right? I saw it in the papers, about how they found her? It was fucking horrible; for all I know, that could have easily been one of my friends who were with me that night," he shivered.

"So, you were at the party?" the slimy one asks, leaning forward with eager eyes. Dean trails his eyes down to see that the guy's name is Zachariah of all things.

"We're gonna die in here," Dean slurred, twisting his head to look at an equally bust up Cas. Instantly, Dean regretted even trying to move; it felt like his organs were being ripped out of his body, the gash deep in his abdomen fighting against him. He didn't have to look down to know that more blood had pooled out of the wound. He could feel it seeping onto his shirt and skin, onto his hand that was weakly trying to stop the bleeding, much to no avail.

"That is likely, yes," Cas forced himself to say, though it was a grunt more than anything. While he was an angel, a depleting one at that, injuries weren't as bad for him as they were for Dean, but the cuts across his chest had ensured that Cas wasn't going to survive this either.

Dean had enough in him to huff, smiling wryly, "Still haven't learnt how to sugar coat things, huh?"

"I'm- I'm sorry," Cas mumbled, blindly reaching forward and grabbing onto Dean's arm.

"S'okay," Dean was still smiling as he leaned forward and rested his head against Cas' shoulder, needing the added comfort of touch, "knew we were gonna die anyway."

"Scarecrows, seriously?" Benny drawled with a raised eyebrow, "You're scared of scarecrows?"

Apparently offended at having her phobia ridiculed, Charlie shook her head energetically, red hair whooshing, "Have you never watched doctor who?"

Dean snorted, "She has a point," he grinned, taking a sip of his drink.

Benny lifted his hands in surrender, a smile on his lips, "I'm sorry that I'm not as nerdy as you two are."

"Hey!" Charlie crossed her arms, "I'm way more nerdy than Dean is, don't take that title from me."

"Dean," Cas told him from the couch, voice even, "Calm down."

"Calm down?" Dean paced the floor, "Calm down? Are you serious right now, Cas?!"

"Dean," Cas replied, face concerned but he was still oh so unruffled about the whole thing, much to Dean's frustration.

"Cas," Dean yelled, more about the situation rather an at Cas, "Our house is fucking haunted!"

"That looks disgusting," Castiel commented with a half judgmental, half horrified tone.

Dean rolled his eyes, flicking his best friend's cheek, "Well, it is called a witches brew, it's not going to look that beautiful is it?"

"Hmm," Cas continued to stare at the drink, squinting at it suspiciously.

"Cas," Dean turned his voice soft, "You don't have to drink it if you don't want to. But it's not that strong," he reassured him with a grin, "it only sends me tipsy so you should be fine Cas."

Thinking about it for a while, Cas wrapped his hands around the glass, eyebrows pinched together. Dean tried to stay patient, knowing that Cas could be particular when it came to these kind of things. He rarely liked going out to big things like this and Dean had never saw the guy drink before, so it was no surprise that Cas was considering his options properly.

"Okay," Castiel decided with a smile.

Spreading his lips into a grin, Dean clinked their glasses together, "Okay."

"Trick or treat!" Ben announced loudly when the next door opened, his little cowboy hat wobbling on his head.

The door opened and Dean audibly gulped. Even in parent mode, Dean could spot a hot guy. And this guy was definitely one of them. Kind, blue eyes (holy shit, they were blue) and a soft smile that lit up the whole of his face. The fact that he was wearing a dorky sweater that said 'Boo!' in massive letters just made him all the more attractive in Dean's mind for some reason.

Dean was brought back to reality with a bang. Quite literally. Ben had apparently gotten so excited for candy he'd decided to bounce back on forth on his heels, hard enough to slip and bash his knee.

And then the waterworks began.