Welcome to my relm of sin

Invader Zim except it’s a rodeo au. Which means the Membranes are actually a rodeo family who compete in rodeos all over the country.

They’re world famous, with Professor, or I guess in this case something different (Rancher Membrane? Cowboy Membrane? Just Membrane?) being a multi time national rodeo champion bull rider. He was forced to retire after a bull gored and crushed his arms to the point of needing amputations. He now lives vicariously through his children, specifically Dib, while managing the ranch and doing sketchy science (because he’s still insanely good at it). Said sketchy science is possible due to him becoming friends with an even more sketchy scientist with even less regard for people. The horse he rides the most is a very sweet and caring quarter horse mare named Clementine, who is a bay with a white blaze.

Gaz is a barrel racer and a damn good one. She’s won first in a couple big rodeos, with her quarter horse named Shadowhog. Shadowhog is a black mare with a white blaze and socks and is just as standoffish and angry as she in. Gaz still enjoys video games, but not as much. She also is the best trick roper in the family, and has experience in break away roping. She’s really good at it, but prefer barrel racing since she thinks it takes more skill. Dib thinks she’s making fun of him, but she really isn’t. She’s dabbled with bronc riding but is too lightweight. She is using in charge of herding on the ranch. She also is still one of Membrane’s creations.

Dib is a tie down roper who desperately wants to get into team roping but like. He has no friends. He’s fairly good at tie down roping, though hasn’t won anything. Membrane wants him to be a bull rider. Dib would rather die. He has a curious, playful dappled gray quarter horse mare named Mothman, and is still in love with the paranormal and would rather explore it than compete. Membrane hates this. Dib kinda loves horses and spends a lot of time with not only Mothman, but the other horses on the ranch like Shadowhog, Phoenix, Megera, ET, and Professor. Dib is also still a clone because Membrane is still stupid smart and has access to less than ethical equipment.

Zim is still an alien. He still wants to take over the earth. He was still banished. The only difference is that he lands in the country when Dib is about 15. Membrane happened to have a flyer for a ranch hand up and Zim decides the human thing to do is take a job. His base is in the shape of a barn that’s right outside of Membrane Ranches. Membrane gives him the job and a cowboy hat and Dib is immediately like “that’s an alien Wtf” but Membrane ignores him. And then proceeds to insist on having Zim trained as a steer wrestler due to his strength and gives him a palomino quarter horse gelding named ET (Dib finds the irony hilarious), who is irritable and must be bribed with treats.

The ranch is named Membrane Ranches and has thirteen horses (four ranch horses- Clementine, Peggy (Appaloosa mare), Foodie (paint quarter horse gelding), and Generator (bay quarter horse gelding); two barrel horses- Shadowhog and Megara (chestnut quarter horse mare with white socks); one tie down roping horse- Chupacabra (paint quarter horse stallion); one steer wrestling horse- Covenant (buckskin quarter horse mare); four generic roping horses- ET, Mothman, Phoenix (nearly white quarter horse gelding), and Doppler (black quarter horse gelding); and one bronc- Wildfire (bright chestnut mustang with a white blaze and socks); as well as sixty head of cattle.

Dib gets tasked with teaching Zim the ropes of steer wrestling and ranch work. They try to kill each other between the very much forced lessons.

Zim is a shit ranch hand at first hates it because of germs. Dib uses this as an opportunity to lie and say all humans are fine with germs and Zim very reluctantly agrees. He does eventually start to get used to it, eventually becoming a fairly good ranch hand. He gets surprisingly protective of ET. ET gets surprisingly close to Zim, always nickering when he comes in.

Zim eventually gets told his mission is fake and Dib awkwardly comforts him. The next week he’s dragged to a rodeo (a massive one) and immediately starts getting very overwhelmed by the extremely loud noises and scents and the bumping. He’s not competing but Gaz and Dib are. Dib completely missed the tie down roping because he’s taken Zim away from the crowds and noise to decompress. (Not because he cares but because he’s not gonna let the alien do something stupid clearly).

Membrane is very annoyed.

A couple years later and more rodeos later Dib is nineteen and wins first at one of the largest rodeos in the country. Zim also competes and gets second. Dib (and Gaz who gets first in a lot of big rodeos) are invited to another big event. Zim comes with.

The night before the competition, Dib and Zim notice a runaway steer. Dib gets it around the head and Zim gets it by a hind leg. Dib realizes that holy shit they could be a roping team. At the same time a roping team is forced to drop out so the pair sign up.

They wind up getting forth. Gaz is thrilled that Dib is able to do what he’s wanted to do. Membrane is angry because he wanted to get Dib to bull riding after tie down roping inevitably wore him out.

Dib and Zim eventually become world champion team ropers. And they eventually make their own ranch. And maybe kiss.