what doesn't kill you makes you weird at intimacy

hey don’t cry. spiro the bald eagle failing at catching a crab, okay?

I had an interesting night last night

I’m so glad I have tumblr gold so I can view this post

Tumblr gold users rise up

you can only reblog if you have tumblr gold. dont even try if you dont.

i hate viruses so fucking much. literally getting attacked by a fucking shape. a concept. consumes no energy. responds to no stimuli. its only existence is to fuck with you. like fuck offf

once i was presenting research at a conference where everyone who received money from a specific grant had to go to basically be like “and here’s what we’re doing with your money.”

and there was a team there presenting on astrophysics and I truly barely understood a thing they said. my team was there to talk about salamander eDNA, and the juxtaposition between Space Math and swabbing salamanders with cotton-tips just struck me as deeply funny.

Later some of the Space people came by and asked us all about the salamanders and one of them said, “I can’t imagine working with animals and water. It’s all so messy. I don’t know how you stay sane with those variables?”

And I was like, “dude I didn’t even know the math you talked about today even existed.”

And we were both just like 🤝 “love your work. huge fan. I’d rather die than do it though.”

How do they choose which sand to be the glass and which sand to be the sand in an hourglass... Imagine you and your best friend were two grains of sand and you had to be in the hourglass and your bestie had to be the glass. Ur together but youve never been more apart. A Sick and twisted practice hourglassery is...

This was me off 1 chocolate croissant

My favorite thing about J. Jonah Jameson is that he just hates Spider-Man. He supports mutants and doesn't hate enhanced people. He's not racist, sexist, homophobic, or transphobic. He just hates Spider-Man. And I'm half convinced that he's faking for the publicity.

He'd probably get pissed if he hears someone hating on Spider-Man for being enhanced.

"Spiderman isn't a menace because he can climb walls! He's a menace because he's climbing walls without a license or safety equipment! He's setting a bad example!"

"I just want you to know that you that your identity as an enhanced person is valid. Your identity as Spiderman is trash."

EXACTLY! THANK YOU FOR THE FANMAIL. BIGOTRY IS WHAT’S RUINING THIS COUNTRY! BIGOTRY AND SPIDER-MAN!!

When I tell you that I wasn't expecting JJJ to be on Tumblr

I should've expected it. But I didn't

this isnt necessarily good news but i hope we can all agree that if you are attacked by a puma and you kill it with your bare hands it should be socially acceptable to wear the pelt wherever you damn well please

spoken like a future puma victim

….why didn’t he shoot the mountain lion?

lol what are you, a gun cuck? cant kill a large predator with your own hands?

Look, if someone wants to buy me a suit of armour, I’ll test the hell out of it. But until then, here’s some theory!

As always, more content, tutorials, etc. over on Patreon

Okay okay NEXT pose ref group shoot: FULL ARMOR FOR EVERYONE

this started out as just a doodle of them cuddling

biology of a stapler

some more speculative staplings

If your parents didn’t have children, there’s a 100% chance that you won’t either

stone cold do not remember this post. what was i cooking in 2010. also jesus fucking christ FOURTEEN YEARS I’VE BEEN HERE???

really, a trolley can’t be that different from a paintball gun on the pain scale, can it?

fanfiction is so beautiful because what do you mean i can read the same characters falling in love 92737389 times in different scenarios and not get tired of it.

With Trump looking on track to win, I just want to give some hope for people right now.

Just take a breath. It isn't going to be great, but we can and will survive.

Adding in another

9. Amending the constitution takes 2/3rds of Congress and 3/4ths of the States. Even with a majority in Congress, there isn't enough for an amendment. I suspect Trump will be very unlikely to change the fundamental structure of the government.