@fizzgigfurball / fizzgigfurball.tumblr.com
You can’t act like women are inherently suited for child care and should focus on being a stay-at-home-mom and then turn around and get mad about women being prioritized in custody. This is a system of misogyny upheld by men. You guys decided women exist to birth children and care for children. You don’t get to then blame these women for the laws based on a culture of misogyny that you men create and perpetuate.
Why does being a woman put you at greater risk of having anxiety? Part biology, part what we teach our kids about their place in the world.
So we’re teaching girls to be anxious wrecks and boys to disregard the possibility of consequences for incautious behavior. This explains a lot of things. Like… why women are anxious wrecks and men are frequently surprised when it turns out their actions do in fact have consequences. And why men don’t bother asking for help even when they really need it, and thus more frequently die from treatable health conditions (including depression), while women end up getting a broad stereotype of being hypochondriacs (and then having a hard time getting treatment for legitimate health concerns).
Great example of how feminism serves not just women but people of all genders, including men.
throughout history it has been a man’s job to provi..
no, throughout history men have actively prevented the independence of women, they have actively prevented our mobility, rights to an education, and livable income. they’ve abused our reproductive capability and passed us around like properties, they’ve used religion to rationalize their hatred of us, and to put us in a place of subordination. so y’all can shut the fuck up about men being “providers” like it was some benevolent gesture, in an attempt to rationalize sexism.
The nuclear family is probably the greatest enabler of child abuse, ever.
Putting two people in complete control of another person (who is particularly vulnerable and has few legal rights) and then having no oversight for the whole arrangement is the absolute worst idea.
Families are garbage.
Hahaha wtf
I wouldn’t even know where to start with this. omg.
OP, what would you propose as an alternative to families?
communal child raising
less isolated familial structures in general
children being made aware of how they should and shouldn’t be treated
Some form of child protection services that don’t just believe the parents and assume a child is lying when they report abuse
more legal and counselling services made available to children
I don’t get people that are like “lol, what? that’s so weird, lets laugh at the very notion that traditional families are abusive”.
communal child raising is the traditional family. 70-100 years ago 4 generations lived together in the same house, having 4 grandparents, 6 aunts and 15 cousins around every day was normal.
Things that should be mentioned:
- These communities are not necessarily connected by an biological ties. In a lot of these multigenerational ‘families’, including people in the family who are not relatives or married into the family is totally normal. This has always created a lot more space to support people without families, support people who do now want to partner up and to create communities in which couples who can not have children (like some queer couples but not all & other couples too) can be a part of child raising.
- Having a lot more young people around often means young people learn from each other. In many cultures young people form a non-hierarchial group that learns together and can do a great deal without adult supervision.
The nuclear family doesn’t just facilitate abuse, it facilitates hierarchy. It’s a training school for obedience to authority.
Now, which system would push such a training school strongly so it could get docile obedient citizens? Which system whould push the nuclear family.
I’m not saying it’s capitalism but it’s capitalism.
And then there’s the fact that the 2 parent, nuclear family can be most easily pushed into the pattern where one adult works an extremely exhausting job many hours a day that leaves that adult hardly capable of doing anything else, while the other adult takes on all the other things that adult would otherwise have done: care for children, clean the living space, prepare food, prepare clean clothing, etc. for free. What we know as traditional gender roles.
This way capitalism gets one intensely loyal worker who feels ‘responsible’ for ‘supporting a family’ while all the work to keep that worker going is done for free by an unpaid worker in the home.
And, you know, communities need a lot less stuff. A community of 50 can do just fine with one or two hammers. 25 nuclear families need 25 hammers. The nuclear family demands a huge amount of commodity purchasing.
(hooboy that last point)
Have reblogged before. Will reblogged again.
We visited some cousins this weekend at their hobby farm. Both parents work, but they live close to one set of grandparents so they are around a lot.
Four adults, four children (all six and under), two goats, about 15 chickens, and one German shepherd desperately trying to keep track of it all.
It was really nice. The kids mostly found a groove by the end of the weekend (their youngest was going through A Phase that included a lot of meltdowns). The potato was at first content to be basically dragged around by the girls and to be their doll, but by the end of the weekend he made it known when he wasn’t ok with it.
I really wish we could just have a big, 6-bedroom farmhouse and invite some family and friends to come live with us.
Also, a quick note on “children being made aware on how they should and shouldn’t be treated” This is absolutely true.
My wife was raised in a really abusive household. Apparently I haven’t even been told everything they put her through and I don’t know if I want to. She was raised by her maternal grandparents, as well as bouncing between her egg donor and her husband and sperm donor and his wife. All physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive.
When she started hanging around my family she was baffled. “Is this what family is?” Nobody was throwing insults at each other (aside from obvious joking and affectionate teasing, like me calling my mom “b*tch” and her insisting “damn right” or that it’s “queen b*tch” and I need to get it right.) We sat around a dinner table and discussed our days. Christmas and birthday gifts were given without an insistence of being repaid. That fact alone, that this was something strange to her, broke my heart.
Fuck nuclear family structures. Fuck capitalism.
gender roles men could try to crush
the only gender role men seem to care about crushing
Just dug up this article and thought I’d share the most crucial part of it. Ami masterfully examines how hurtful are patriarchal views on gender.
(via ozziescribbler)
today i was talking to some boys about how gender roles influence their minute-to-minute behaviours and they were all “not necessarily i mean not all-” and i said “one example is interrupting women when they talk and dismissing their ideas” and slience
Spend 7 minutes of your life watching this show on gendered marketing
