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#laugh rule – @firstofficerrose on Tumblr
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Rose's Rambles

@firstofficerrose / firstofficerrose.tumblr.com

I mostly write about books.
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draconym

Naturalists have got to be one of the groups of people most susceptible to being tricked by the fae. Travellers these days are much less likely to follow a mysterious light or the smell of roast beef into the forest. Meanwhile, find me a naturalist who would not completely lose themself in pursuit of:

  • An unidentifiable bird call
  • A butterfly that’s slightly off-color
  • An opossum with its head stuck in a yogurt tub
  • A really big woodpecker

The Fae better be fuckin ready to be tagged and fitted with a Radio Collar for Science then, I got new hiking boots and no other ideas for research grant money.

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kelgrid

it’s called fashion, sweaty

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Funny to me to think about the whole "oh you say you don't like <insert website> but you'll gladly reblog content FROM <insert website>" as like... trade exports between nations that all a little bit don't like each other.

"Come try these grapes. They're from Tiktok." "OH Tiktok? Wonderful. They grow the best grapes. We just don't have the right terrain for them here." "I agree. Lovely grapes. Wretched country though, I'd never live there." "Oh me neither. They cancel their peasants in the town square. Speaking of, have you seen the new textiles boypussydilf is selling in the town square? Imported from Instagram!" "Oh amazing textiles, Instagram has. Wretched country though." "Absolutely wretched."

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teaboot

Me, calling in to my shift supervisor: Gooooooood morning! Are we ready for another super splendiferous day with the public?! 😀

Her: That is too much energy

Me: It iiiiiis fake!! 😀

Her: Still too much energy

Did you just know this

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schmergo

When I walk into the mall and see Christmas decorations up the day after Halloween, I feel the same way Hamlet did when his mom married his annoying uncle so shortly after his father’s death.

Thrift, thrift, Horatio! the Halloween Mars Bars/Did coldly furnish forth the Christmas stockings

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omnybus

The first rule of Fight Club is that fights can neither be created nor destroyed

The second rule of Fight Club is to not take the Fight Club's name in vain

Third rule: A Fight Club must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Rule

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reblogged
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corviiids

meditations on the odyssey

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feyosha

Quest: I went to 7-11 for Smokes

Adventure: I went to a New Smoke Shop for a chance at Better Smokes

Odyssey: I left my house for Smokes a week ago. I have acquired many fascinating tales, but remain woefully Smokeless.

Adventure: I went

to a New Smoke Shop for a

chance at Better Smokes

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

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tanadrin

And God said, "Behold! I have created the fourth primordial force: the weak interaction!"

And the angels all clapped and nodded politely, and there was a long silence; and finally Verchiel, the Angel of Grace, spoke up and asked, "Er, what exactly does it do, O Fashioner?"

And God said, "What do you mean, 'what does it do?' It's the fourth fundamental force of the universe."

And Verchiel said, "You mentioned that. Um. But it's just that the other three sort of have a brand, you know? Gravity helps build large-scale structures, acts over vast cosmic distances, shapes time and space. The strong force is secret, hidden, binding together quarks and all that. Electromagnetism, very cool stuff, somewhere in between. We're all big fans of the whole magnetic monopole double bluff, very clever. But, er. What does this 'weak interaction' do?"

And God said, "It mediates radioactive decay. Sort of."

And Verchiel said, "Radioactive decay? All radioactive decay?"

And God said, "No. Just some kinds."

And Zephaniel, the Chief of the Ishim spoke, and he said, "A whole independent force just to mediate some kinds of radioactive decay?"

And God said, "Well. Not totally independent. Technically it's related to electromagnetism."

And Zephaniel said, "Wait, it's not even a real force?"

And God said, "It's totally a real force. It's just that it's one aspect of a combined electromagnetic and weak force. An electro-weak force, if you will."

And Metatron, the Celestial Scribe, scratched his head at this, but said nothing.

And Cambiel, the Angel of Transformation, said, "Maybe you can walk us through it from the top."

aaaaaand this is why I'm an English major

This is funny to me, because I also did English Literature in university.

This is true. There’s a well known phenomenon among the ancient peoples of the Pontic steppe where priests and warriors would decay into farmers while emitting a spray of neutrinos and charged pions.

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why is the metal community so pressed abt this it’s literally hilarious. 10/10. love it. i want it.

Metal elitists probably are, the rest of us think this is funny as hell. Also fuck yeah to making corpse paint easier to get and for relatively cheap

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lynati

Rare is it that I feel "WTF?!" and "I LOVE IT" in such an equal measure. ....Wait. Is this real? I thought it was a gag but how you're talking about it sounds like it is real and OMFG IT'S REAL?!! https://www.elfcosmetics.com/elf-x-liquid-death-corpse-paint-vault/81576G.html

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